Aderonke Adebanjo: What men want women to know!

by Aderonke Adebanjo

So, we know men and women speak different languages. That’s pretty clear from our experiences, yeah? To love each other better, we really need to understand our different communication styles. We are told to “seek first to understand and then be understood”. So, ladies it’s time to understand the men and where they are coming from. I spoke to some of my friends to help us out and here’s what they had to say!

“Our egos are bigger than our brains and more delicate than eggs.” – Emeka, 33.

“We communicate differently. Accept it and work with it. Guys seem to understand this. Ladies seem to stay frustrated. Stereotypical expectations – money, cheating, etc. – provoke stereotypical responses.” –Sam, 20+.

“Women need to understand that while men may generally not be as emotionally aware as women, we are still very emotional, just with a different emotional orientation.” – Oluwatoyin, 29.

“Men are actually very simple creatures. Feed ‘em, love ‘em, nuture ‘em, and if it is the right man, he ain’t going nowhere. Also, not everything has meaning. For women, everything has meaning.” – Soji, 29.

“When you meet an honest, sincere guy, don’t treat him like a liar just because you have experienced several vagabonds.” – DL, 30+.

“Men are mortals.” – Olufemi, 29.

“Be honest; say what you mean and mean what you say. The head games are enough as it is. So if something is wrong and the guy comes to ask you what the problem is, tell him. He will not magically figure it out. If you say nothing, he will leave you be, but don’t expect to come back later and be upset because he didn’t ‘figure it out’.” – Sims, 29.

“I want women to know that we also get emotional.” – Banji, 36.

“Guys need time i.e. time with male friends. So don’t make it an issue.” – Umar, 27.

“Men need support.” – FAB, 34.

“When a guy loves and is vulnerable to you, the words you say to him can damage his self-esteem, no matter how strong he appears on the outside.” – Bemyoda, 28.

“Please be real. The more natural you are the better. We are not as calculative as you think and expect. And truly just help us out, say when we upset you, we can’t read minds and are not that smart.” – Tobi, 26.

“Most guys like women who know how to listen.” – Patrick, 28.

“Women need to know that all men are not the same and you need to see them as individuals and not through the lens of past negative experiences with other men.” – Olisa, 30+.

You heard them. Other men reading this, please add your two cents if you can!

About the author


Aderonke is a radio and television broadcaster, singer, songwriter, poet, lover of LOVE a.k.a. hopeful romantic(!), and daughter of God. I enjoy good conversation and a great laugh. You can catch her on Smooth 98.1FM and on Twitter @aderonkehiica. For more on her views on relationships, read her blog The Love Chest.

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One comment

  1. The fact that your black book has no space to accommodate the past wrongs doled on you by your man does not mean he he can't change. Figure out his sincere apologies and appreciate the changes in your man without making references to his past acts to judge his slight misdeeds or to gain justification for your own misconducts.

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