by Tolu Omoyeni

As part of his fight against corruption in government bodies on all levels in the country, President Muhammadu Buhari and Vice president, Yemi Osinbajo recently declared their individual assets. Sequel to that move, the President announced an instruction to the Code of Conduct Bureau (CCB) to make public the official documents of his asset.

Of course, the reasonable question is: Sir, why not just publish it for us to see. Which kind of ‘jangilova’ movement is that?

Anyway. You guys elected a 73 year old man. So for solutions, we clearly have to go to people that listen when we talk to them.

So, Premium Times went to the CCB boss.

In an interview however, the CCB Chairman Sam Saba began to talk like a man under the influence.

Ay the end of day, he declared that the Bureau will not obey the President’s orders. And we present this in 6 ridiculous quotes.

1. “I tried to access the document via the internet, but I was required to subscribe and pay some money, which I didn’t have”.

Mr Saba’s response to the question about the leaked document, Panama Papers that contained names of some Nigerians who have evaded tax and are hiding wealth. We are just tired. Maybe we should open GoFundme account for him.

2. “Did the President say he has written to the CCB and said ‘go and make my declarations public?'”

The President has to write to you before you do your job? What a wawu.

What. A. Nigerian. Wawu.

3. “But the President has already declared his assets, his assets are there. If there is anything in it he has not disclosed, you should have asked him specific questions.”

BUT IS THAT NOT YOUR WORK?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS MAN?!

4. “President Yar’Adua did not need anybody’s advice to publish his asset declaration. He did so even when he was a governor. That was his business. It has nothing to do with me.”

This is the kind of answer that gets people fired in any country where anybody is held responsible for tomfoolery.

5. “When we take an asset declaration form to a public officer that has just retired, everybody will say they don’t know his address.”

Who employed this man?

6. “It is very difficult in the sense that you only hear these kind of stories but in reality, they are not so.”

This was what he said about governors who come into office with nothing and amass wealth during public service. Since you say it’s not so, then it looks like we’re done here.

And we are terribly sad at the quality of the man atop our most important national ethics institution.