Counter Culture Blog

[The Sexuality Blog]: If you dont believe women when they tell you #MenAreScum, then you should ask gay men

Oh yeah, we forgot. You would never ask a gay man their opinion on anything because as one man on Twitter put it “Can’t listen to anything from a person with a nutty mouth”. You men consider gay men as inferior because they are attracted to other men and because you people have pushed and... Read More

Counter Culture Blog

gay men, Scum, The Sexuality Blog

[The Sexuality Blog]: TY Bello’s King Women interview was brave, but terribly handled

There are only two times to publicly report sexual assault as a victim, immediately it happens, and if you cannot, when you are completely ready to face what happened. TY Bello spoke publicly for the first time in 30+ years about suffering abuse as a child. It takes so much courage to even publicly come... Read More

Counter Culture Blog

assault, rape, The Sexuality Blog, TY Bello

[The Sexuality Blog]: Believe it or not, people like Joro serve a purpose

Agony Aunt. Joro Olumofin. Two words you wouldnt expect to see side by side; and as much as it probably burns him to admit it, that is exactly what he is. Agony aunts have always existed, but the internet and anonymity has allowed the medium to thrive and just about anybody tack on a fancy... Read More

Counter Culture Blog

agony aunt, challenges, Joro Olumofin, Relationships, The Sexuality Blog

TY Bello YNaija

TY Bello’s King Woman reaffirms that sexual abuse is more common than we think

TY Bello seems like the last person in the world who underwent sexual abuse as a child. She is so upbeat and successful, such an icon who has in her quiet but persistent way, changed the way women are perceived, nothing like promiscuous broken woman that Nigeria aggressively portrayed as the quintessential victim of sexual... Read More

Counter Culture Blog

Kemi Adetiba, King Woman, sexual abuse, TY Bello

The Sexuality Blog: The Handmaid’s tale feels like watching an alternative future of Nigeria

It is quite unlike me to shill for a television series, especially when it is not one that is Nigerian or seems particularly relevant to our daily lives as Nigerians. But in light of our current recession, global events (including but not limited to white Americans overwhelmingly voting in a racist, bigoted megalomaniac as president... Read More

Counter Culture Blog

The Sexuality Blog: Why do you call women ‘females’?

Well, why? It seems a fairly ordinary question, especially since it’s something a lot of grown men (and some women) do, even though many women have explicitly stated their displeasure with the phrase. What is it that is so appealing about calling a woman a female that makes the people who do it so vehemently... Read More

Counter Culture Blog

The Sexuality Blog: ‘If’ is just the latest in Davido’s long line of songs that celebrate materialistic relationships

Nigerian jollof is all about sex and/or wealth. Women offering or withholding sex, men describing sexual acts or talking about ‘ikebe’ and ‘backa’ and ‘Ukwu’ and ‘ogede’. But while we’re all about the sex and wealth, we seem to be vehemently against the idea that the sex can be consensually exchanged for the wealth or... Read More

Counter Culture Blog

[The Sexuality Blog] For your viewing pleasure: Hell Or High Water

Early 2016, the short film Hell Or High Water made in association with Nigerian LGBT rights group TIERS Nigeria broke real glass ceilings in Nollywood. Before it there have been LGBT films, but those ones always portrayed sexual minorities as sinful, deviant and evil; something to be purged by prayer and public shaming. The Hell... Read More

Counter Culture Blog

The Sexuality Blog: Yvonne Orji makes a strong case for abstinence

You should know Yvonne Orji by now, Nigerian born American actress who came into fame for her role as Molly, a promiscuous and unlucky in love professional on HBO’s Insecure. But in reality Orji has become equally famous for her status as a virgin in her 30’s as she is an actress. In fact her... Read More

Counter Culture Blog

The Sexuality Blog: ‘Stealthing’? Are you people kidding me?

The discussion around sexual health and sexuality is expanding. And as it expands, especially pertaining to sexual assault, rape and consent, it is finally touching areas that have stayed grey for decades and allowed us justify frankly deviant behaviour. There is one action in particular that I have always hated, though every time I brought... Read More

Counter Culture Blog

The Sexuality Blog: Teach your sons to learn to deal with rejection, our very lives depend on it

In the last 10 days, two American men have killed a total of 18 people in cold blood. Their reasons/justification for taking the lives of innocent people; their wives/girlfriends decided to leave them. Two eight year olds have been brutally murdered in the last 10 days because an abusive man who treated his significant other... Read More

Counter Culture Blog

The Sexuality Blog: Tunde Ednut needs to STFU about TBoss – and anything else – for a very, very long time

Here’s where we are. A woman was sexually harassed while she slept. On international television. We saw it. The videos remain. The woman in question says she didn’t know what was happening. Some people say she’s lying but she maintains her stance. The people in charge of the show on which she experienced this clearly suspected foul... Read More

Counter Culture Blog

AY, BBNaija, Big Brother Naija, tboss, Tunde EDNUT

celibacy sex

The Sexuality Blog: Even in celibacy, sex still defines us

Over the long weekend, I reconnected with friends and caught up on their lives, especially their emotional and romantic lives. One friend in particular surprised all of us. She likes sex (and from what we’ve heard from her past lovers is quite good at it) but she’s also had a love-hate relationship with intercourse for... Read More

Counter Culture Blog

The Sexuality Blog: Do Nigerian priests have any support system to help make sense of celibacy?

The most fascinating thing about Christianity when you exclude its dogma and the often illogical fervor of its fundamentalists is its clergy. Christianity has more denominations than any other religion and as such many different ways to become ‘called’ (as it were) into stewardship. But one thing is constant in every denomination, the older a... Read More

Counter Culture Blog

Abati Cossy

The Sexuality Blog: We want rights for women but we stay putting people like Reuben Abati in power

I’ve been looking askance at this opinion editorial fluff piece that former Presidential spokesman and editor of Guardian Nigeria Reuben Abati sent out, uncoerced to several news agencies earlier this week. He sent it out to coincide with the conclusion of Big Brother Nigeria 2017 where Efe, after playing a brilliant hand of poverty politics... Read More

Counter Culture Blog

The Sexuality Blog: The dilemma that is monogamous marriage for a millennial

Christianity and the western cultures it influences have foisted monogamy on us as the only acceptable way to entertain intimacy. We are taught very early that love must be a closed loop shared between two people with no extra input and no internal outpourings. Perhaps for commercial reasons, the phenomenon we’ve come to acceptably as... Read More

Counter Culture Blog

Lagos

The Sexuality Blog: Lagos has a Domestic and Sexual Violence Response Team, and you should use it

Over the weekend, a girl I know had her mobile devices, laptop and tablet seized by her mother. I have tried frantically to reach her since then, and have found no way to do so. This girl’s mother has a history of using threats and violence to force her children to do what she wants... Read More

Counter Culture Blog

DSVRT, lagos, sexuality

BBNaija

The Sexuality Blog: Who would have thought #BBNaija’s women would ask all the right questions?

So BBNaija 2017 is ending. For the last 90 days we’ve watched 14 Nigerians picked ‘arbitrarily’ to representation of the country’s millennial generation give up their right to privacy and independence and consent to have their every move watched for the entertainment of millions in exchange for a shot at fame and a shot at... Read More

Counter Culture Blog

Big Brother Naija

The Sexuality Blog: As predicted, the Global Gag Rule has started rolling out

A few months ago, as one of his first official executive actions as President of the United States, Donald Trump reinstated the Global Gag Rule. We wrote extensively about it here and what it means for disadvantaged women around the world, denying them necessary healthcare, increasing the risk of another HIV epidemic by denying necessary... Read More

Counter Culture Blog

The Sexuality Blog: Maternal mortality is still a thing, folks

“Modupe Oyekunle.” That name might mean nothing to you, but it should. Yesterday she died, after successfully delivering a daughter, her third after a difficult pregnancy. But Modupe Oyekunle wasn’t just a poor housewife from Ilesha or fleeing Boko Haram bride from Maiduguri. She was well known Yorrywood actress who travelled to Abeokuta to give... Read More

Counter Culture Blog

The Sexuality Blog: No one tells you of the violence that happens when women are trafficked for prostitution

American journalist Ben Taub’s most recent article is the kind of journalism Nigeria so desperately needs. Consumed as we are by following the shenanigans of unrepentant politicians and the nouveau riche, desperate for attention that wealth can only put you adjacent to, we miss the horrors that are happening right before us, like the hundreds... Read More

Counter Culture Blog

The Sexuality Blog: Tell us everything or tell us nothing at all

The 21yr old son of a Senator from Taraba state raped a 7year old girl anally. He destroyed her internal organs and she died. 1/ — فلان نصر ٱلله (@FulanNasrullah) April 3, 2017 This was the first in a thread of tweets (the rest of which you can find by following the link on the... Read More

Counter Culture Blog

The Sexuality Blog: Will ‘When We Speak Of Nothing’ be a worthy heir to Jude Dibia’s ‘Walking With Shadows’?

The Nigerian literary industry is clearly bereft of stories about queerness and homosexuality. That absence can be laid firmly at the feet of a religious society that bristles at the mere mention of otherness and an industry only struggling to find its place as Nigeria’s conscience and tasked with the burden of balancing profit with... Read More

Counter Culture Blog

bankrupt

The Sexuality Blog: Cynthia Morgan (and Nigerians) need to learn to shut up and mind their business

Cynthia Morgan, talented reggae rapper with a penchant for borrowed accents (at our last count she had four though she grew up in Benin city), appropriating the cultures of other for financial gain and doing anything, no matter stupid, to draw controversy to herself and remain relevant in the fickle jollof music industry, has suddenly... Read More

Counter Culture Blog

Charlize Theron, Cynthia Morgan

The Sexuality Blog: One of your literary faves just outed himself as a raging misogynist

It really is weird that this month has really proved unequivocally that as a whole, the literary community needs to kill its darlings. We might not be as rabid as music stans, but Nigerian lit does have a thriving stan culture and our admiration of successful writers can and usually blinds us to the fallibility... Read More

Counter Culture Blog

The Sexuality Blog: So Beauty and the Beast has gay characters and Nigerians are pissed

Nigerians never disappoint, honestly truly. If I could trade Nigerians on the stock market and make money off predicting their behaviour, I’d be a billionaire. We are reactionary, often responding with ‘righteous’ anger at anything that we think disturbs our myopic views of what is normal or acceptable. And this week our culprit is live... Read More

Counter Culture Blog

[The Sexuality Blog] We keep swiping: the millennial problem

Nigerians have always been promiscuous. And while the millennial generation of Nigerians will argue that we are having more sex than our parents ever even dreamed of, the most casual investigation will prove otherwise. But we are right about one thing, we really are unwilling/unable to move past casual sex into proper, committed long term... Read More

Counter Culture Blog

[The Sexuality Blog] From Tonto Dikeh to Muma Gee | Marriage is still a death trap for women, stay woke

Tiwa Savage, Tonto Dikeh, Toke Makinwa, Muma Gee and now Atoke Utomi, just five women in celebrity marriages who have had to go through high profile separations/divorces, complete with allegations of domestic violence, false appearances and husbands who it seemed only got married to fulfill societal obligations. Toke, Tiwa and Tonto’s marriages lasted two years.... Read More

Counter Culture Blog

atoke utomi, Muma Gee, Oladunni Churchill, tee billz, tiwa savage, toke makinwa, tonto dikeh

The Sexuality Blog: Gay men are playing The Respectability Olympics, and everyone is losing

Someone once said, many of the problems gay men around the world face would vanish if all gay men would embrace feminism with the fervor of Feminazis, and every day that person is proven right. As a community, gay men are very misogynistic, to straight women, to gay women, to trans men and to themselves.... Read More

Counter Culture Blog

Newsies, Pro-life, activism

The Sexuality Blog: What ‘Newsies’ taught me about American pro-choice activism

America has an interesting way of preserving even the most infinitesimal parts of its history; through the work of playwrights who convert historical events into gripping plays performed on New York’s Broadway theatre community. 2017 gave us the true to the original screen adaptation of Fences by August Wilson, a film that was nominated for... Read More

Counter Culture Blog

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