by Anike Jacobs
Here’s what he has to say:
Some say Afro Candy is a prostitute. Some say she’s not or at least, not yet. A few others say she’s a porn star, which is not in the same league as prostitution. Porn stars are taxed, prostitutes are not.
So Afrolicious baybay, you have to up your game to get into the league of prostitutes, if it is what you really desire. My suggestion would be; instruct your agent or booker to get you appearances in any of the political campaign videos, so you can put to use that floppy behind your mama gave you. And if you are lucky enough, you can get cameos and wiggle that thing around the aspirants themselves. You have to get your bum (sorry your hands) bloodied to earn the highly coveted “Political prostitute” tag.Now my Candilicious Afrolistic baybay, these are a few names of the latest political prostitutes in the country: Olamide, Banky W, Don Jazzy, Flavour, Duncan Mighty, D banj, Mercy Johnson, Ibinabo, Ini Edo, Mama Gee, Naeto C, Joseph Yobo, Daddy Showkey, Kanu Nwankwo, and Sammie Okposo.
I have been asked several times if our celebs should get involved with politics. But today, let me push the same question in different words to everyone reading this article. Do politicians making affiliations with celebs prompt you to vote for them? For me, it’s a definite No. Nigerians are not influenced by celebs to indulge in certain acts because their favourite celeb says so.
For instance, I like Kate Henshaw but expecting me to vote for a candidate she supports in the forthcoming elections is like asking me to start buying a particular milk brand because Don Jazzy endorsed it. Puh-leez, things like that don’t cut it here in Naija. Naija is a different kettle of fish compared to what is obtainable in places like the US.
The politicians using celebs for their campaigns should ask themselves what on earth the average person has got in common with Dbanj. He has millions and he may never have to lift a finger again in his life if he so desires. And you think the boys in Okokomaiko who are not smiling will listen to his unrealistic rants on TV and radio?
Using a celeb for election campaigns is as stupid as the political aspirants themselves dancing in their campaign musical videos. Imagine Jimmy Agbaje and Ambode dancing in their campaign videos? Ok, I am sorry, no imagination is needed. I feel sorry for the politicians that Nigerians are not fooled by all the media images of celebs pushed at them every day on TV. It has become so much that we can’t tell the difference anymore between political campaign videos and the Nigerian musical videos.
The only cocktail of politics and celebrity that the masses are bound to endorse is that of creating useful awareness that will benefit the larger society. People like Bono have political views which bring attention to real, humanitarian issues that transcend the established political doctrines and have nothing to do with producing those plastic karaoke like political jingles our entertainers are paid to produce.
Those entertainers who see nothing wrong in frolicking with politicians will say I am speaking from a misguided perspective. Go ahead, defend your support for that politician. Tell me you are campaigning for change. You can’t fool anyone but yourselves.
Hey, my Afro Candilicious baybay, you go ahead with your trade okay? Don’t let the criticisms of your fellow entertainers bother you anymore. Tell them your porn is definitely a kinder and gentler version when placed side by side with their political prostitution. Now, good day ladies and gentlemen. Please don’t forget to tip the waitress on your way out.