by Grace Efezokhae

These set of people are just dumb, they just want to feel among. Abeg, if you want to lie, lie with your common sense intact not all these kind of crap:

 

If we take a slow ride down memory lane we will remember how telling a lie as a kid was kind of a big deal. But then as we grew older, we gradually accepted the fact that lying was no big deal after all. Lying may save you from unnecessary hassles and further questioning, yet I am not an advocate for using a lie as the perfect escape route. I am not a saint o, I have lied a great deal in my lifetime. Imagine at work, you wake up on a Friday morning and you are not just in the work mood or maybe you have a party to attend out of town. The best excuse is to call in sick. It ends there, many times saying the truth leads to further questions and unnecessary explanations.

In the real sense of it though, lying could be a pain in the neck especially when you are the recipient or the victim. I have come across dumb liars in this life and I get amazed that they could think everyone could be just as dumb as they were. I did some research and I came across some dumb, funny and crazy everyday lies.

The Dumb lies told by wannabes

These set of people are just dumb, they just want to feel among. Abeg, if you want to lie, lie with your common sense intact not all these kind of crap:

“I study International business at the University of Birmingham, I just came back to Nigeria because of the current ASSU strike”.

“Our house is the best in town, the time armed robbers came to our house, they stole all my mum’s jewelries and money plus the swimming pool”.

*Uju: Titi, your dress is lovely. Where did you get it from? Titi: Erm….I got it from McDonalds in London after we took lunch at Primark stores. Uju: (breaks out in laughter) * I don’t take shawarma because it’s too alcoholic

The Unrepentant liars

These set of people won’t even say the truth If their lives depended on it.

“I could never lie to you. I don’t even know how to lie”. There are so many skillful liars that now believe their own lies.

“It wasn’t me”. Even when it is glaring they are the ones who must have performed one thing like that. (Shaggy’s disciples)

Can you imagine, a babe caught her boyfriend cheating on her with another babe and the guy was like, “It wasn’t me”. Haba! caught in the act and he dare denied it.

The Network palava lies

Ade: I have been trying to reach you since yesterday. It has just been ringing

Ola: Ade, are you serious? My phone has been with me since o, maybe it’s the network. You know how crappy network can be these days.

(Ola actually saw the missed calls but she will lie on top of network)

The job seekers’ lies

“I love challenges” – In your mind, if you see certain challenges ehn, you will quit that minute.

“I am a pro in multi-tasking”- When you are given 2 or more tasks to do at the same time, you will start grumbling.

“Working with this company has been a lifelong dream I have nurtured since I was a kid”- Even when you may just be hearing of the company for the first time. Your gbeke will be when the company just started in less than a year.

“I am not bothered about the pay, I just need the experience this company will offer to my growing career”- BIGGEST LIE O, the moment TOTAL, MOBIL or CHEVRON gives you an offer, you will port at the next second.

The Employee’ Lies

*Manager: Why were you late?

Worker: There was serious traffic on third mainland bridge.

Manager: I passed there this morning too nau, the road was free.

Worker: (scratches head) erm the car broke down…LIAR LIAR

From the beggars on the streets of Lagos who claim to have all kinds of ailments in this life just to seek sympathy and financial assistance and every one of us who lie without remorse, Chei…There is God oooooo!!!!!!!

Lying is so not a trait we should imbibe. No matter how we may want to justify it to make it look good by calling it white lie, blue lie, or those that even claim that they are just been diplomatic. So long as it is not the complete truth, it is a big lie.

What is the craziest lie you’ve ever told or heard? Kindly share with us all.

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Grace blogs at www.graciemama.com

Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.