Have you stopped checking your ex’s Facebook page?: 5 questions to ask yourself before getting a new relationship

by The Romance Code




Answering yes can up the odds of a new relationship turning into a permanent one.

For women healing a broken heart, the most important new relationship advice is often in regards to when to actually get that new relationship started. Some women take their time after a breakup, giving themselves a grieving period before even considering joining a man for dinner at Chilis (and ordering anything but the Awesome Blossom). Other women choose to act like Dennis Rodman: they put on a dress and grab every rebound that they can.

But, rushing into new relationship, advice will tell you, is like going to bat with an 0-1 count: there’s already a strike against you. It may be but one strike, yet it ups the odds tremendously of making an out.

In terms of new relationship advice, this means that to increase your odds of finding a union that is successful and a partner you genuinely love, you must look within yourself and make sure that you’re ready.

Only you know the answer to this, but there are things that can help you along. In fact, some of the best ways to tell if you are ready for a new relationship is by asking yourself the following questions:

Do you understand how important communication is?

A relationship without communication is like Dorothy without Todo, a yellow road without bricks, a lion without courage. It’s a relationship where something is missing, something that leaves an unfillable void.

Are you content being single?

People who are content with being single often do better in new relationships because they are happy with who they are and where they’re at in their lives. And happy people will always have more successful relationships than those who are miserable.

Do you want to date rather than feel like you have to date?

Some people date because they feel they have to – maybe they’re tired of their parents asking when they’ll get married or maybe their biological clock is ticking like Big Ben. Maybe all of their friends have gotten married or they feel as if time is marching on just a little too fast. No matter the reason, dating because you feel as if you have to is like taking a job because you need the money: you’re not all that likely to enjoy the work.

Are you willing to let go of small things?

Despite what Kanye West will tell you about himself, not one of us is perfect: we are all a work in progress. We all have faults, things that get under the skin of others or rub them the wrong way. If you’re willing to accept this – accept not only that you have faults but that everyone you date will as well – it’s a good sign you’re ready for a relationship. When you’re willing to let go of small things, your relationship can go on.

Have you stopped visiting your ex’s Facebook page?

According to studies, 88 percent of people admit to stalking their ex’s social media pages after a breakup (and the other 12 percent are liars). Stalking in the beginning is pretty normal and not all that destructive, but continuing to stalk isn’t. Instead it’s a good sign that you’re not ready to date just yet. On the other hand, if it’s been weeks since you’ve creeped Twitter or Facebook, then you’re likely ready to get back in the saddle. Just make sure you quit creeping for the right reason: because your heart has healed, and not because your Comcast was down.


Read more in Your Tango


Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.

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