by Kolapo Olapoju

1. Lamentations of forgotten ex-soldiers.

Ex-soldiers are wondering why it is difficult for their pensions to be paid, after they fought for the nation’s unity.

During the Armed Forces Remembrance Day, in Calabar, retired soldier, Lawrence Effiom said: “As a retired Nigerian soldier who fought in the civil war, I have not received my pension in the last two years. My pension of N20, 000 cannot fend for me and my family, the money is not much and food stuffs in the market seem to be on the increase.”

2. The era of PVC thieves.

The Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC), has terminated the employment of two of its officers for stealing Permanent voters cards, (PVC).

Collins Omofoma and Onome Avbundiogba broke into INEC’s office in Delta to steal the PVCs… and the commission also sacked Obi Chinwoke Ugochi, for absconding from work.

3. Parade ground torture.

This story underscores the importance of a proper breakfast… and/or prompt commencement of parades.

During the Armed Forces Remembrance Day celebrations in Oyo State almost went sour, a female soldier collapsed in front of Government House, Agodi, Ibadan, while on parade.

The soldier and her colleagues had been at the arcade for about five hours before the commencement of the programme around 11a.m.

4. Jonathan’s dangerous promise.

Any time President Jonathan makes promises like this, Boko Haram strikes harder… we should be worried.

“Let me assure you that we will soon take over (from Boko Haram) all the areas. From the briefings I have received from the service chiefs, I assure you we will take over the towns and communities.”

5. Obasanjo’s contradictory counsel.

Obasanjo leaves us confused with his latest contradiction of himself.

First he says the Chibok girls may never return, and now he tells #BringBackOurGirls campaign group to keep vigil till the girls come back.

“The reason why we must continue to sing this is because today it is Chibok, tomorrow it could be my village.”

6. Orji Kalu, the professional defector.

In the past decade, Orji Kalu has gone back and forth from PDP to PPA, more times than one can remember.

The former governor of Abia State, Orji Kalu, has again exited the Peoples Democratic Party, PDP, and has quietly returned to Progressives Peoples Alliance, PPA, which he founded as he left office in 2007.

7. Don’t dare insult the Pope’s mother.

If you insult the Pope’s mother, you will be gifted with a sucker punch.

“It’s true that you cannot react with violence, but if my aide Doctor Gasbarri, who is a friend, badmouths my mother, a punch would be coming for him.”