by Cheta Nwanze

Given that Nigerian courts have been known not to enforce their own judgements, I sincerely doubt that the brave former colleagues of mine would see any of their money…

A few weeks ago, we talked about the drama in our nation’s premier Zoo. Such pieces of theatre have a tendency to bring us monumental national embarrassment. However, being a people who do not know the meaning of the term “embarrassment”, one would have thought that such a scenario will be swiftly swept among the debris of that huge abandoned project that greets your eyes when you first arrive in Nigeria and emerge from the “Arrivals” Hall of the MMIZ. No such luck this time, the men-in-black felt sufficiently embarrassed as to mount a manhunt for the actors involved in that play. Their efforts paid off yesterday as seven of the actors in that play were paraded on stage before an audience of journalists. Lanre Ibikunle, Niyi Atoba, Ibrahim Abdullahi, Kazeem Aderibigbe, Saheed Adekunle, Chris Joshua and Saheed Okunola will not be expecting roles in @OmoSexy’s next blockbuster, but they will definitely be the stars of the show at men-in-black Central in Lagos trying to explain what happened to the N600 millions that they wheeled away on that drama filled evening three weeks ago…

Speaking of being wheeled away, the stubbornness of the management of Aero Contractors has ensured that the wheels on the Nigerian aviation sector remain wobbly. Contrary to an agreement reached between striking workers, the management, and a group of Nigeria’s finest Gavels, workers who turned up at work yesterday found that they could not resume. An Aero suit, Obaro Ibru asked the hitherto dismissed staff to return their letters of dismissal ASAP, but in a twist then asked them to return such letters with their latest resumes, so that “a suitable role would be found for them within the company”. To be fair to him, he did say that their former salaries would be paid while such roles are being sought out. Expect a few of those CVs to be found, err, unsuitable.

Unsuitable is what the umbrella body for journos is finding the situation in the Nigerian media space. Thus it was that fresh from Casablanca, Morocco where he had gone for a continental shindig, Mohammed Garba, the head honcho for journalistic we-no-go-gree types, told assorted media owners in Nigeria that they have a fortnight within which to pay up what they owe journos. “It is an open secret that only very few media houses pay their workers their entitlements on a regular basis,” shrilled Garba, telling us nothing new on the same day that my former employer was ordered to settle accounts. Given that Nigerian courts have been known not to enforce their own judgements, I sincerely doubt that the brave former colleagues of mine would see any of their money, but I wish they would because err, before writing this newsletter, I downloaded an Excel sheet written at the end of 2010 and containing figures that translate to Nairas and kobos, then placed a call to my Wig. Ahem, that was the reason this morning tonic was late…

Bits and bobs

Still on people looking for money, Atom Zaga, who was shot my assorted sailors in 2012, has filed a suit against the Cap’n. Methinks he should ask Miss Okere whether she’s seen her N100 millions.

Still smarting from being benched by kids, the Papa Eagles skipper has taken his moan to the radio.

Money will be shared today for printing 33 million new voter’s cards. Y’all have been duly warned.

All the arrangements made by JAMB for this year’s exam (yesterday’s newsletter) seem set to come to nought.

As a result of FG neglect, 24 foreign airlines may stop flying into Nigeria. Stories about FG neglect are not a new thing jo, they should give us a better excuse.

Samsung is doing a karaoke competition, and I came across this video of a nice looking lass singing along. I’m off to the nearest Samsung office.

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Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.