Jumoke Aruleba: Nobody holy pass!

by Jumoke Aruleba

I need a church. I need a fire and brimstone, direct contact to the Holy Spirit kind of church. You know, the type that you see in Nollywood movies, where God would strike you down sharp sharp if you dare think out of line. I need direct access to that kind of electricity, that kind of buzz. The one where you will be certain that indeed your sins have been washed clean. Don’t get me wrong, I go to church right now, but seriously, it is slowing me down. I think there must be more to spirituality and Christianity than this style of worship. I don’t think God will respond quickly to my requests for $500m. ‘Dominus Vobiscum, Et cum Spiritu tuo’ bawo? Abeg, I  need more.
Looking at modern day Christendom though, is one really encouraged to go to the pentecostal churches? In fact, I wonder if there really is a God. How is it that the churches of our time are headed by people who,  while admittedly human, commit some atrocities that would have made the God of the Old Testament wipe out the earth with flood, lighting or fire and brimstone? Are we really in the age of a brand new kind of Grace? Is it possible that I am the one who is too small minded and backward to realise that indeed this is a new era, one where the leadership of the Church need not follow the dictates of its singular guiding document, the Holy Bible?
My eyes were opened to the possibility of this new level of Grace when the Ese Walter story broke last year. She had been in an affair with her Pastor who claimed he would show her a new level of Grace. I am not here to argue on the whys and wherefores of that sordid banging mess (pun intended), I’m here because I worry, does this new level of Grace cover only the religious leaders? Are we, the docile congregation, exempt from it? Is there a secret serum received before you are allowed into this covert group who partake of this Grace?
It has to be the new level of Grace that would allow one of the most popular Pastors feel alright about publicly talking down at his wife in the presence of his congregation, even broadcasting it. My apologies, I meant to say soon to be ex-wife. He is right now in the middle of a messy divorce. It does not seem as though either party is willing to back down. What does the Bible have to say about divorce again? What examples did we learn from the Prophet Hosea?
It is this grace that will explain how the leader of the Christian Association is embroiled in a $9.3 million scandal and is covered up by the government. Men of God now show ostentatious displays of wealth and seem to retain that right regardless of the cost. If the Christian Association cannot divorce itself from politics, who will lead the Government aright? Who will tell them the truth? How will the jokers in Government fear God. Anyway, it is these same government officials who plunder our federal purses dry who will go round the churches along the express-ways and kneel down for prayers. Just wait till 2015, the pictures will abound. What brand of Christianity are we practising now? Shall we call it Christianity with swagger? or Christianity with contacts? I know more presidents than you. Could the tithes from the State House be huge enough to tell everyone to calm the hell down and look the other way?
What happened to Christian Charity? Taking care of the lowly, sick, the poor, your neighbours? How is it that some pastors own private jets? What is the thinking behind this? Do you have an idea of the operating costs of a jet? This might actually give a little bit of credence to the issue that Pastor has with the head of his New York branch who claimed he borrowed money to service a jet in Dallas and refused to give it back. The same Pastor who allegedly supervised the beating of Ogun state government tax workers was also banned from the UK with £2000 pound fine to be paid by any airline that takes him into the UK. The airlines have no need to fear the fine anyway, one of his many jets would very easily ferry him there. Do we call it show your logo Christianity? Twale Baba or how do the touts say it. Do you remember the Pastor, the one with the yellow hummer? Also showing his logo. Fully repping.
Modern Christianity has left me wondering. How is it that the followership of these churches keep increasing? I think therein is the miracle, the laziness of followership, our complacency, our belief that this is the way it is and therefore it must remain so. ‘Touch not my anointed, New Level of Grace’be rest assured, tomorrow, a new catch phrase would be coined from the Bible to defend another misdeed by a Man of God while we watch.
In the words of Abami Eda,
Open your eye everywhere
Archbishop na miliki
Pope na Enjoyment
Imam na Gbaladun
Until later, dominus vobiscum. Off to listen to some Abami Eda.
 
Lets hear your thoughts because, the verdict is yours….
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Jumoke blogs at TheNaijaVerdict.blogspot.com
Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.

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