Opinion: Nigeria needs a ministry of corruption

by Olabode Emmanuel Olawumi
The duty of this ministry is to officially provide funds for the purpose of corruption…
Nigeria is a country with a population of over 150 million people.
It has 36 states plus a Federal Capital Territory.
At least, each of its states is blessed with more than two mineral resources, as well as various agricultural resources.
In case you didn’t know, Nigeria’s main minerals are; crude oil, bauxite, coal, tin, iron ore, columbite, natural gas, limestone, gold, lead and zinc. Other minerals found in Nigeria include gypsum, aluminium, lignite, salts, and asbestos.
This nation’s major export product is crude oil; as decided by its leaders, though it has other alternatives like rubber, cocoa which are unattended to.
I was informed that Nigeria is the 12th largest producer of petroleum in the world and the 8th largest exporter, and has the 10th largest proven reserves.
Is it really true that petroleum plays a large role in the Nigerian economy and that it accounts for 40% of GDP and 80% of Government earnings? So, there was a time when our manufacturing industry which includes leather and textiles contributed hugely to the growth of the economy?
What happened to the days when agriculture used to be the principal foreign exchange earner of Nigeria?
According to Wikipedia; “At one time, Nigeria was the world’s largest exporter of groundnuts, cocoa, and palm oil and a significant producer of coconuts, citrus fruits, maize, pearl millet, cassava, yams and sugar cane. About 60% of Nigerians worked in the agricultural sector, and Nigeria has vast areas of underutilized arable land.” I therefore ask, what is the problem?
After 50 years of independence and over 10 years of uninterrupted democratic government, the country is economically backward, compared to other nations, as blessed as she is with mineral, human and agricultural resources. Unemployment has increased drastically over the years, insecurity is at its peak, there is inadequate social amenities; every sector of the economy seems to be crawling.
Referred to as ‘The Giant of Africa’ (like seriously?), she owns more than 20 ministries, a 109-member Senate and 360-member House of Representatives.  With so many commissioners, ministers, honourables, and public office holders massively paid to move her forward, we continue to enjoy lot of cases of misappropriated public funds. The question is what is the problem?
For many years now, political analysts and critics have blamed our retarded economy and political instability on public office holders and civil servants. Though, so many anti-corruption institutions (EFCC, ICPC, et cetera) have been created to battle this social cankerworm that has eaten deep into our society; we have seen little or no result. We have talked! We have abused! We have cursed! We have prayed! We have argued! We have deliberated! We have gone on strikes! We have organised protests and rallies, none of them seems to have yielded results. The question is; what is the problem?
After thorough thinking and critical analysis of the state of the nation; considering how our leaders go on foreign medical tours to treat headaches and stress; how our political and religious leaders fly the most expensive jets while a huge percentage of their followers wallow in abject poverty, i think or better still, I know that the right thing to do is to create a “Ministry of Corruption”.
Kindly save me the stones and listen to my reason for the creation of a “Ministry of Corruption”:
The Ministry of Corruption will be a constitutionally recognized institution.
The duty of this ministry is to officially provide funds for the purpose of corruption (unofficial benefits of public office holders that have done their work well).
It will provide unofficial yet, constitutional incentives to those who can’t save themselves from their itching fingers and greedy interest in the public wealth.
Upon creation of this ministry, all public office holders must effectively, efficiently and without bias, but with accountability fulfill their responsibilities and complete projects assigned to them.
Any public office holder interested in the incentives from the “Ministry of Corruption” should have performed his/her duty diligently to a fault and without any trace of inefficiency or mismanagement or misappropriation of funds. Afterwards, they’ll be rewarded by this ministry for officially doing an excellent and credible job.
Please note that people who have interest in the funds provided from this ministry would be deprived of official benefits like: car allowance, food allowance, medical allowance, transport allowance etc. Interested persons’ would be moderate and compared to what non-public office holders earn.
I am forced to assume that since ‘corruption has come to stay in our country’, this might just be the right step in the right direction of having our government officials build our roads, schools, construct our bridges, build our refineries, improve all sectors of the economy without diverting our funds to their private account(s) or foreign account(s).
Afterwards, we’ll create strict laws that will fight against defaulters – those who steal our money or refuse to perform their duties. We could have a law that will sentence these corrupt individuals to life terms in prison. Lest I forget, there will be no more unnecessary medical trips, the children of our politicians will study in Nigerian institutions, no public office holder will be entitled to unofficial foreign trips while in office; reason being that, they all have an account with the “Ministry of Corruption”.
Maybe, maybe not; this could be our long lasting solution to the problem.
Think about it!
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Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.

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Comments (2)

  1. Ministry of Corruption?! Please oh! Don't give them creative ideas for stealing more money biko! We're already saying that the payroll is too heavy with Special Advisers to Special Advisers everywhere!

  2. Yes is good to have a ministry of corruption, the problem there is, will they perform their duties. We have EFCC & ICPC, but not thin is been achieved.

cool good eh love2 cute confused notgood numb disgusting fail