Relationship advice for women: 5 things your mom NEVER told you

by Caitlyn Hitt


A couple who can respect each others dreams and chase them together is a couple that will have a strong, lasting relationship.

Relationships can be tricky; there is no right way to go about it, no way to ensure it’ll work out, but everyone’s got an idea of how it should be done —especially concerned moms! Here are just a few pieces of relationship advice we’re pretty sure your mama didn’t give you.

1. Communication in the bedroom is key.
That’s right. Sex is an integral part of healthy and happy relationships hence the importance of keeping lines of communication open in the bedroom. You know that thing you’ve always wanted to try, but keep to yourself? We say, let your freak flag fly, folks. Keeping your sex life new and interesting will make you and your partner happier in and out of the bedroom.

2. Stay spontaneous.

Remember when you first got with your significant other and everything was fun and exciting? You probably went on lots of dates, brought each other to your favorite bars and hang outs, and did all kinds of things you’re probably doing much less of now. Face it, the honeymoon phase is over. But that doesn’t mean you can’t revisit it occasionally! Go out and have a good time like you used to — eat, drink and be merry!

3. Toss tradition aside.
It’s 2013 — we are no longer confined to traditional gender roles. Forget what your mama told you about food being the way to a man’s heart and the importance of cooking and cleaning. Any modern man worth his weight in gold knows how sexy a strong, independent woman who can hold her own is. Likewise, men, women like to be catered to occasionally. Get in the kitchen and whip up a romantic at-home dinner for your woman. A couple who can respect each others dreams and chase them together is a couple that will have a strong, lasting relationship.

4. Be realistic, optimistic and willing to put in the work.
Despite what you grew up thinking your prince charming isn’t going to ride in on his white horse and whisk you away and men, don’t expect to stumble across a Louboutin that’s going to lead your to your princess. Now this doesn’t mean you have to settle for the next best thing. We encourage you to find that one person you just can’t imagine your life without, but idealizing that person is only going to make your search more difficult. Be optimistic; I’m a firm believer that there is someone out there for everyone. Don’t subscribe to the belief that you’re going to be alone forever or that true love doesn’t exist — it does, it just takes work, which brings me to my last point: Be willing to put in the work. Successful relationships require both partners to put in a lot of effort; if you really love one another, it doesn’t feel like work.

5. No two relationships are alike. 
While it’s nice to consult your girl friends or bros about relationship issues, keep in mind that every relationship is different and what works for one couple may not work for you. This also means that not everyone is going to understand why you do what you do; it may not make sense to your best friend why you chose to give up something you once loved for your significant other — and that’s OK.

The truth of the matter is there is no science to the perfect relationship. Keep your sex life and dating life interesting and fresh, respect each other’s dreams and throw tradition to the wind. Know that love is very real and occasionally messy, and most importantly, do what makes you and your partner happy. You’ll be just fine.


Read this article in Your Tango


Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.

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