by Kolapo Olapoju

 

1. Muhammadu ‘Honest’ Buhari

Sule Lamido is pretty upset with some ungrateful politicians who defected from the PDP to APC… but then, he believes Buhari is a honest one.

“I agreed like every other person that Buhari is an incorruptible, honest, clean and patriotic Nigerian. My concern has always been defectors who our party, PDP, had made ministers, governors, speakers and members of the National Assembly and left us after benefiting so much.”

2. Move on already! The elections have been rigged

In case you’re not aware, the 2015 general elections are already rigged, because majority of voters will not bother to exercise their franchise.

The above are the words of Olugu Olugu Orji, who believes that voting by the masses is inconsequential to the outcome of the polls.
“Let Jega and his INEC gang prepare all they can. He can engage all the gadgetry and sophistry possible. He can even ‘import’ Nigerians in diaspora to man critical organs of the electioneering behemoth. Even if the National Assembly was to grant him twice as much as he requested, it will matter little.”

3. Buhari, the Yoruba hater

Every true sons and daughters of Oduduwa should reject Buhari… because he hates them.

This is what Adedayo Adeyeye, minister of state for works, wants Nigerians to believe. He says the All Progressives Congress (APC) presidential candidate, is the number one enemy of the Yoruba people.

“Everything that Awolowo did for us in Yorubaland, Buhari undone it. Buhari was even planning to merge the University of Ibadan with Obafemi Awolowo University, Ile-Ife when he was removed.”

4. No single vote for APC in South-east

The APC has been advised not to waste resources campaigning in the South-east region… as it won’t get a single vote from over there.

Austin Akobundu, national vice chairman of PDP in the South-east says: “One thing is sure. There is no place for the APC in the south-east, so they should not hope to get any vote from the zone.”

5. Maybe, petroleum products import will end in 2018

Kindly take this with a pinch of salt… till it happens.

The Minister of Industry, Trade and Investment, Mr. Olusegun Aganga, says the Federal Government plans to ensure that the country stops the importation of petroleum products by 2018.

“There are many sectors we should have developed over the years, but for decades, we relied entirely on exporting raw materials.”

6. Why Buhari can’t Islamise Nigeria

Buhari’s cook and driver are Christians, therefore, he cannot Islamise Nigeria.

According to Rochas Okorocha, Buhari does not intend to Islamise Nigeria. He said: “His cook for over 25 years has been a Christian. The driver he has had for over 30 years is a Christian. His last daughter is married to a Christian.”

7. I smell corpses everywhere in Baga

The massacred town of Baga smells of decomposing bodies, with corpses littering everywhere.

After its attack of Baga, Boko Haram insurgents are still occupying the town, as over 20,000 people have been forced to flee. A fisherman told AFP: “They have set up barricades in strategic locations in the town. It is corpses everywhere. The whole town smells of decomposing bodies.”