The publishers of the online news medium, Sahara Reporters have opened a can of worms and if anyone had told us on Monday that the grammar spitting and 7 degrees-hot Nigerian Senator Dino Melaye never completed University, we’d have walked right up to Osbourne Road in Ikoyi as a means of expressing our utter surprise.

Who’d have thought? That his Havard degree was a mere week-long seminar on leadership or that the London School of Economics and Political Science would dare proclaim that they have no knowledge of an alumnus named Daniel Dino Melaye, Melaye Dino, Melaiye Daniel, Melaye, Daniel Jonah Melaye or Dino Melaye? Who knows what name he goes by these days?

But it’s Saturday and it’s Nigeria. We have already dealt with a Salisu Buhari at some point so this should not be such a surprise.

Except this is Senator Dino Melaye! His braggadocio precedes him and there are too many prominent Nigerians probably queuing up for a lifetime dose of nitrous oxide that will helo them get through this with maximum enjoyment. From Asiwaju Tinubu and his wife, Remi Tinubu to the anti-Patriciah Eteh clan and even Ibrahim Magu, maybe.

The story should still be taken with a pinch of salt especially as the Senator is already feeling the emotional and psychologically traumatising effects of all this exposure but no one can deny how endlessly funny it already is.

However, if there’s anything we can say for the Senator, it is that even if it all turns out to be true, he won’t go down without a serious fight. So we got to thinking: how will Senator Dino Melaye try to wriggle his way out of this one?

We already know that if his Secondary School leaving certificate is intact, no one can say that he got into the National Assembly despite all this mess. Why you ask? Did you not know that our elected representatives, by law only need to have completed Secondary school to be qualified to rule?

NYSC?

LOL! Of course, they don’t need to serve the fatherland to serve as leaders? #AinNobodyGatTimeForDat!

For sure, there’s going to be some Agbada-tearing show-down if anyone on the floor of the house ever tried to throw any snide comments his way about this on a bad day. Or have you forgotten so soon?

 

The Senator may also start to fight for the rights of the certificateless ones among us to be treated with respect. Because from that point onwards, Bill Gates and Zuckerberg will become the guys he has a lot in common with and who can spite Bill Gates or Mark Zuckerberg for no having University certificates. In fact, what does and ABU certificate mean even?

Another possibility we thought of is that the Senator will make a show of walking along the quiet Osbourne road in Ikoyi to show his haters that he is not in anyway ashamed of whatever we think he should be ashamed of.

That’s of course right after he must have gone to give all glory to the Almighty who alone could have shamed his detractors by taking him to senatorial heights even without all the valid certificates in the world.