Today’s Noisemakers: Dogara, Tinubu, Oba of Lagos and others

Every day on the Nigerian internet, there are people who keep our eyes glued to our phone screens as we read their rants, opinions, perspectives on political and social matters, etc. Sometimes, they are even just downright ridiculous. We make it our job to take down the names of these noisemakers.

Here’s our list from today:

 

  1. Dogara

Speaker of the House of Representatives, Dogara, rushed to his Twitter account today to announce with joy in his heart that President Buhari called him yesterday. Notice the emphasis on called him? This is important because whilst Saraki merely spoke with the president, the president actually called Dogara.

Now he can strike that off his bucket list:

‘Mummy, mummy, president Buhari called me while on vacation in London.’

‘Aww, son, have a chocolate.’

This can’t be coincidence.

Would you, believe it? I got that same call too. Nothing to do with national security or anything heavy like that, though. We talked cartoons.

 

2. Asiwaju

So that all of you wishing death for the president will rot with bitterness in your heart, Asiwaju and other members of the APC went to visit Buhari.

 

Oh, and the extra smiles are so you will see he is not ill at all. And he is standing on his own two feet!

What do they say on social media again: haters, just take your L with a shot of Orijin.

 

3. Oba of Lagos

The Oba of Lagos, Akiolu met with the Acting President, Prof Yemi Osinbajo and Femi Adesina was present.

Isn’t this darling? Look how excited Femi Adesina is. He’s definitely getting that presidential phone call tonight.

 

 

4. @andyRoidO

*Sigh*

Citizens and residents of PortHarcourt are having an impossible time. For three months now, black soot has been falling from the sky. Not a word from Wike, the governor of Rivers state and the oil companies are complicit in their silence too. The Federal government is saying nary a thing about it, either.

One more reason to look forward to the president’s return.

 

5. AMCON

Since AMCON is a legal entity, a person in the eyes of the law, it deserves mention here. For months Arik Air has been playing ping pong with Nigerians travel plans, not to mention Arik is as broke as a church mouse. Big brother AMCON said enough and took it over.

The end.

Well… Big brother has spoken.

 

6. @nayaseepo vs @yourstruly_01

This girl here had been dating a ‘yoruba demon’, only to discover after a YEAR that he’d been married the  whole time. The whole darn time.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BQTMIYPjGl_/?taken-by=instablog9ja&hl=en

Way to put someone on blast. Kudos.

She says there’s more? We are here for this tea, baby. ☕

 

7. Mizwanneka

We’ll title this “Because Men Are Not All Scum”


Awwwwwwww. See, @yourstruly_01 above, all is not dire. True love will come.

Range Rover. In this recession.

*o jigbi jigbi jigbi*

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cool good eh love2 cute confused notgood numb disgusting fail