Every day on the Nigerian Internet, there are people who keep our eyes glued to our phone screens as we read their rants, opinions, perspectives on political and social issues, etc. Sometimes, they are just downright ridiculous. We make it our job to take down the names of these noisemakers.

Here are the ones we saw today:

Listen ladies, your virginity is not a gift to your husband.

If you want to wait to have sex until after you’re married, put some actual thought into the reasons why you’re making this choice and make it make sense to you!

— Max ‘Odogwu’ M. (@MakiSpoke) July 2, 2019

Nigerians never understand the importance of good writing and the value of hiring good writers until some famous, say, Omoni Oboli, writes more than 50 words on a trending topic.

— Oris Aigbokhaevbolo (@Catchoris) July 2, 2019

Elisha Abbo never even spend 3 months for Senate, baba done dey shop for sex toy..?

If Baba ever rise to become Senate president, he will use the Mace as a giant dildo..

Senator Johnny Sins with Sprinkle of Bash Alli…??

— The Kingmaker? (@SmithVinci) July 2, 2019

Utterly barbaric and shameful behaviour from Senator Elisha Ishaku Abbo,the youngest member of the Senate.This is unacceptable and something needs to be done about it.I call for his arrest and prosecution for assault and battery.I advise the younglady that was beaten to sue him! pic.twitter.com/LEsMafW0zK

— Femi Fani-Kayode (@realFFK) July 2, 2019

Nathaniel Bassey needs lessons from Poju Oyemade

— Sandra Ezekwesili (@SEzekwesili) July 1, 2019

Nathaniel Bassey needs lessons from Poju Oyemade

— Sandra Ezekwesili (@SEzekwesili) July 1, 2019