Every day on the Nigerian Internet, there are people who keep our eyes glued to our phone screens as we read their rants, opinions, perspectives on political and social issues, etc. Sometimes, they are just downright ridiculous. We make it our job to take down the names of these noisemakers.

Here are the ones we saw today:

Why do people close their eyes when they pray?

— Yinka Ogunnubi (@yinkanubi) May 10, 2019

When you get the answer, let us know

Guys that do not wash their hands after urinating and go around shaking hands…
Your judgement is coming soon

— Nonso MD (Aproko Doctor™) (@aproko_doctor) May 10, 2019

Amen

My dad will never forgive me for taking my first salary ever in life to give my pastor as first fruit. ?????? he has reminded me every year ??

— Grace Alex (@t2pitchy) May 10, 2019

You father doesn’t understand the things of the spirit. Disown him.

My pre-blonde state of mind. Lol. pic.twitter.com/brh2SGSQzc

— JJ. Omojuwa (@Omojuwa) May 10, 2019

Can’t wait for you to go full blonde.

This “Yahoo boy” bants could hurt Naira Marley & Zlatan in ways they certainly didn’t bargain for. Visas/work permits, etc. It’s all fun and games till your career (your future, really) takes a hit.

— Ovie (@OvieO) May 10, 2019

FACTS

Australia is 14 hours ahead of America, yet America is richer and stronger. Those who start before you are not necessarily ahead of you. Run your race. An elephant stays pregnant for 22 months. A rabbit is 1 month. But their offspring are different #FreeLeahSharibu #RenosNuggets

— Reno Omokri (@renoomokri) May 10, 2019

Twitter needs to ban you, honestly

I now understand why this book is popular with criminals.

My self interest is what I guard the most. For you to come close to it means you are dangerous. I will avoid you like a plague. https://t.co/wO5Z702Fz7

— Victor Asemota (@asemota) May 10, 2019