Every day on the Nigerian internet, there are people who keep our eyes glued to our phone screens as we read their rants, opinions, perspectives on political and social matters, etc. Sometimes, they are just downright ridiculous. We make it our job to take down the names of these noisemakers.
Here’s our list from today:
1 Rihanna
Humanitarian, musician and makeup mogul (hello Fenty Beauty!), has urged President Trump to remember Puerto Ricans, American citizens devastated by Hurricane Maria.
Dear @realDonaldTrump I know you've probably already seen this, but I just wanted to make sure!
Don't let your people die like this. pic.twitter.com/mDO848JAUx— Rihanna (@rihanna) September 28, 2017
Can someone make sure he gets the memo?
2. Shehu Sani
The outspoken Senator is against the Federal Government’s decision to pull out of some 90 international organizations due to debt.
Pulling out of international organizations;a wrong move by the FG;To lead others and play a significant global role,we must belong.
— Senator Shehu Sani (@ShehuSani) September 27, 2017
Cheta wonders why then we insist on being permanent members of the United Nations Security Council
#Nigeria is not serious. We are pulling out of 90 international orgs because we can't pay, but want to be permanent members of the UNSC.
— Chxta (@Chxta) September 28, 2017
TwitterNG engages:
In our defence I don't think we are serious about UNSC permanent membership either. It's self-deluding blather&that no one takes seriously
— Resistance is Futile (@chrisngwodo) September 28, 2017
This is one of the most ridiculous policy shift in the history of Nigeria. Am not surprised though. You asked for chanji… Enjoy it.
— Chibuzor (@chibszone) September 28, 2017
It seems you guys are yet to understand what Buhari and his crew stand for?
A mere $70m debt allegedly owed to Int'l Org cldn't be redeemed
— Namdosky (@realnamdosky) September 28, 2017
I hope say no be international human rights groups we dey pull out from. Make I see the list first sha… @StanVito
— Laz Ude Eze (@donlaz4u) September 28, 2017
I also smell a rat… actually many rats ?
— Ejemai Eboreime (@ejemaim) September 28, 2017
Hope no be the kind rats wey pursue one big oga komot for office?
— Laz Ude Eze (@donlaz4u) September 28, 2017
3. Omojuwa
Speaking of smelly rats, isn’t this matter of what our Legislators earn a big pile of dead Okon Calabars?
The day Nigerians know how much our Lawmakers really and truly earn, we'd have unlocked our next stage of freedom.
— JJ. Omojuwa (@Omojuwa) September 28, 2017
..and the Executive too! We must preach transparency and accountability in all arms of govt, so it doesn't look like 'witch hunting' one arm
— Ağəňţ_ODUM (@007burch) September 28, 2017
4. Oby Ezekwesili
BBOG activist, Mrs Ezekwesli wants citizens to have the last word on the NGO bill. She isn’t buying the bs that the bill aims to check fraudulent activities of NGOs in the country.
The RESTRICTIVE PURPOSE of the #NGOBill CAN NEVER JUSTIFY its "accountability objective". The REAL motive behind the Bill is EVIDENT.
— Oby Ezekwesili (@obyezeks) September 28, 2017
But is there at all a JUST cause to enhance the ACCOUNTABILITY of NGOs in Nigeria? Yes!
Is the #NGOBill the right instrument? Heck, NO!!— Oby Ezekwesili (@obyezeks) September 28, 2017
The RESTRICTIVE ASSAULT the #NGOBill will unleash on Citizens' FREEDOMS & VOICE FAR EXCEEDS its "noble goal" of making NGOs "accountable".
— Oby Ezekwesili (@obyezeks) September 28, 2017
5. Ms Smith
#OurMumuDonDo
https://twitter.com/BardotSmith/status/913196893479374848
6. Mr Opa
Mr Opa tells a story we can’t get enough of:
This man beat his wife this morning.
Area boys in the compound ganged up to scatter the idiot's head. pic.twitter.com/JQXe4AmT8i
— Mr.┏̲O̶̲̅┓̲P ┏̲A̶̲̅┓ (@ogbeni_opa) September 28, 2017
The man deserves to be roasted alive sef.. But even the area Boys sef, how do they treat their own wives ?
— Big Attitude???? (@Willz_life) September 28, 2017
Bro, If an elite can beat his wife, an area boy can treat his wife with utmost respect. It's not 2 + 2
— Mr.┏̲O̶̲̅┓̲P ┏̲A̶̲̅┓ (@ogbeni_opa) September 28, 2017
Give them area boys some cash to dey alright. They did a great job.
— Ugonnia (@AustinYugo) September 28, 2017
Legit ?
— Mr.┏̲O̶̲̅┓̲P ┏̲A̶̲̅┓ (@ogbeni_opa) September 28, 2017
https://twitter.com/LegalGangster1/status/913325372288258048
They are not "area boys", they are "concerned men against oppression and domestic violence". The man in question is the "area boy and tout"
— Alamu Swagga (@doyeean) September 28, 2017
@f1rstlayD There's one in my compound,I wish they could just come over to threaten the man
— THE_UNCLE (@Chizuruum) September 28, 2017
7. Brad Jordan
Playboy founder Hugh Hefner is dead. He died at 90 after a life of viagra and pimping. Suzanne Moore wrote a scathing article in his memory that’s akin to spitting on his grave. Brad Jordan’s tweet, however, gives us insight into what turned Hugh a playboy.
Hugh Hefner wife confessed she cheated while he was deployed (shocking right) and bruh went full savage for the next 60 yrs of his life
— Brad Jordan (@504carsonst) September 28, 2017
E always get why. https://t.co/ZyMoot8RgB
— Victor Asemota (@asemota) September 28, 2017
Bonus
All that talk of pimping and viagra popping brings us here:
#ForTheDChallenge #ChristianEdition ?? pic.twitter.com/RED0oaHuFv
— Melessie Clark (@Melessieee) September 28, 2017
[In case you missed it]: “Caged Barbies and Hugh Hefner: The shocking tale of Playboy mansion”
Reformed social media monitoring spirit
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