Women want and NEED strong emotional experiences in bed.
Even the most experienced of men may make a mistake or two in the bedroom from time to time and some end up fumbling more times than their favorite football team. It’s up to you to keep things interesting and to avoid making sexual errors that irritate women, so if you steer clear of the following 10 behaviors, you will be headed toward being the kind of lover that attracts women like magnets and keeps them coming back for more.
1. Not returning sexual favors
Women often complain about men who gladly accept oral pleasuring, but never return the favor. Being a selfish lover can be an intimacy killer because one partner cannot be expected to continually please the other while not being pleasured themselves. Although you may get incredible sexual gratification from your lover’s abilities, just remember that she needs some attention too.
3. Being silent and emotionless
Women want and NEED strong emotional experiences in bed. Men generally believe that remaining silent during the sex is a better option than speaking out what they desire, but if you are not talking during lovemaking and creating a strong emotional experience for her, she can’t be totally fulfilled. Something as simple as a little moan, or even saying something like, “That feels so good,” will encourage her.
4. Assuming she’s satisfied
Concentrating solely on your own sexual gratification is likely to leave your lover feeling underwhelmed or unsatisfied once you finish. Just because you got off, that doesn’t mean that she’s satisfied. Remember, a good lover makes the effort to make sure his partner is satisfied before he is.
5. Lack of grooming
When you’re in the throes of passion, having your beard stubble brushing back and forth across her body isn’t so sexy. If there’s one thing that turns women off, it’s a lover whose personal hygiene isn’t up to par. Keeping yourself clean and properly groomed- especially in the more intimate corners of your anatomy – is not just a matter of courtesy, it’s a ticket back to the bedroom.
6. Not lasting long enough
This mistake is well known and very simple, but no list of mistakes in the bedroom would be complete without it. You need to have good penile control to ensure that you can ejaculate at an appropriate time. If you can’t control yourself and end up letting go too soon, spend a lot more time on foreplay. Although it is a debatable topic, most women will be happy if you can last at least 20 minutes.
7. Ignoring her erogenous zones
Most women have more erogenous areas than simply her breasts, nipples, and genitals. Take the time to learn your lover’s other “hot” zones, particularly her neck, shoulders, back, buttocks and feet. Focus on her entire body. It will turn her on more and, in turn, increase the chances of her pleasuring you back.
8. Forcing sexual fantasies
Men often commit the mistake of not respecting a woman’s comfort zone, and simply expect women to do just about everything in bed to please them. Most women have an adventurous side and are willing to try new things in bed once they trust their lover enough. But, if you ever want her to reach that point with you, the last thing you should do is impose your sexual desires and fantasies upon her too soon into the relationship. Remember–real sex is not like sex in adult films, so always try to introduce new positions and reveal fantasies slowly but surely.
9. Thinking what works for one woman works for them all
Men often make assumptions about what a woman’s wants based upon what they’ve done with other women; however, there is a great deal of variation between what different women like in the bedroom as well as their own differing levels of experience and confidence. If you have trouble reading your girlfriend’s responses, there is no harm in asking her directly what she likes. Even if you feel that you do know what will keep her satisfied in bed, constantly giving her a variety of sexual experiences is the fastest way to a varied and fulfilling sex-life.
10. Not kissing her enough
Believe it or not, many men don’t kiss the woman they’re with when they’re having sex — and that’s one of the biggest mistakes to avoid in bed. Women love being kissed because it makes them feel soft, sexy, beautiful and adds the romance that they crave.
Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.