by Ifreke Inyang [@ifreke]
[18th – 23rd July, 2011]
MONDAY: “Brand new week of perfection! Morning pple.. Do u interrupt a doctor in d middle of surgery? No. Let Him av His way!” was @FunmiFatona’s first tweet last week. The Power Holding Company had their way but it didn’t please @Thayorclassic. “PHCN dis isn’t d best way2 welcome me 2 ma main zone o!!! Haba since yesterday! :(“ he tweeted angrily. @Tilishoz was angry with her mechanics. Her tweet was: “I hate wen mechanics waste my precious tym. Asides tailors,they r d next most annoying handymen. Dis place smells of all sorts, iJuz may puke!” @Knewkeed wanted to do something else though. “I want 2 get a SIM for my Nokia fone strictly for the data plan……..how cheap is Etisalat browsing again?” he asked in his tweet.
TUESDAY: @ibezze was pissed at the price of food stuff at th market. “I jus came bak from the market. The prices were so high that I almost trekked bak home after shopping!” she fumed in her tweet. @shermna’s anger stemmed from the holdup she experienced. Her tweet was: “Hold up was madt on d thirdmainland Bridge 2day…Mr President Good luck dey madt for head…” @1sick9jadude was not happy with the Government who seemed hell bent on allowing the Labour Union go on strike the next day. “NUC wants to strike oooo! Chei!” he tweeted. “Dese pipo dnt wnt me to graduate ds october ni *rme* all of una go blow ni!”
WEDNESDAY: @ritaUdominic warned those who were buying fuel about where they purchase it. She gave her reasons in her tweet: “Meanwhile be careful of the ‘dizzle’ and fuel you buy. Looks like some of the stations had water leak into their tanks during the floods..” @ToolzO was more interested in another set of people. “The interns at work are just toasting each other anyhow. I’m jealous. I’m going to report them to my boss.” she tweeted. @feline_eyes didnt bother to report a new person on Twitter to anybody. She blasted him off herself. “Just cos there’s a gbagaun detector, u want to do tiaun detector. Like 9ice said. Photocopy ko easy. Pls get off Twitter.”
THURSDAY: @chinnydiva’s advice was for those who indulged those with these handles. “As far as I’m concerned, anybody who fights w/ TweetOracle or Odina should be thrown out w/ the bath water. Stupidity!” she said in her tweet. Of course. this tweet was directed at everybody. However, tweeters took time out to indulge in the trending topic, #EveryBodyHasthat1Follower. @kkdonjay: “#EveryBodyHasthat1Follower That Can’t Do WithOut #GBAGAUN(ing).”, @bawsegaga: “#EverybodyHasThat1Follower who doesn’t know how to RT.”, @msWuraola: “#EverybodyHasThat1Follower That Hates WizKid.”
FRIDAY: “I so hate it when my internet connection gets so slow, taking the whole day just to attach 52kb, #Rubbish!” @stjohnk5 tweeted out of frustration caused by his internet service provider. @fumioll’s request to network he uses for his BIS was simple: “Airtel, pls u guys shud behave urself o! I have enough tins to do frm my BB..” @Suru_lere apparently found a newer way of pinging without a Blackberry. “I jus downloaded an application that lets me ping on my nokia…” he informed us in his tweet. “My pin is jst N500, way too cheap compare to what odina is chargin..”
SATURDAY: @mayorpee was very eager to receive his bumper pay as corpers’ allowances had been increased. “19k allowee in a bit..pay me ma money!” he tweeted excitedly. Arsenal continued their pre-season with a 2-1 victory over FC Cologne. @BabaOloriokoBB wasnt impressed. He told us why in his tweet: “Dey start d season all fired up. At d end, dey finish 4th. Arsenal shud be anoda synonym for failure!” YNaija & Chocolate City hosted the first ever #Hashtag party and it was a huge success. @itsallboutmoney however made an interesting observation. “Gbagaundetector n Tweetoracle wey dey form celeb sha…dia table empty for Swe bar!”
Gbagaun of the week: Takee your pick!
@meready08: #lifewaseasybefore I had an child…
@iQuoteComedy: RIP #AmyWineHouse, Should have went to Rehab…
@xtracuteMARY: With all these ish about amy winehouse, she’ll soon be trendy
@Sinnzu_me: Wtf this plankin shit has went to far lmmfao
@IAmWhorl3y: To be honest I think I haf ran out of avatars!! 🙁
@KathyJaiii: So People Have Started Tweeted Their Pins Again …”
@Otobong04: Congrate to all United fan…we have do it again!!!!!
@ollyliciouss: My baby is graduation tomorrow…[email protected]: Dis is d most annoyin chocolate v ever tastes in ma whole beautiful life…*pukes*
@Holla_jaybrown: It funny hw a words can turn into sex
@femibabs8: Nw tym to worked!!! ☹
@DeolaAderr : You are now Management your life with this Phone, SMH.
@Ms_jizie: Pls hu is watch Disney ….lmaooo
@FreshFeran: I’m play piano and I’m always on key
@bankybaby: Where’s r u?
@Leoritie: Wat do u thing Luclay will do wit d money is he wins????? #BBAmplified
@tayo_11: #lifewaseasybefore I became for being famous
@Msfishiehot: #lifewaseasybefore I got disvirgin
@tiiboi: LET EVERY DRY BONES IN MY LIFE LIVE AGAIN!!!!!
@Dapsins: One has gotten to be careful what you consume on twitter. Your Mind Can Get Easily Polluted.
@faithjulez: You don’t get the picture? My picture’s in he’s wallet!!
@neyonx02: Almost like @234next tends to be the last ones to tweet a news! #MyObservation
@petrob350: these gal is so fly told she has feelings but hate me lol
@ba11ll: Mornin jesus ₪ mornin tweeps Ope ur nyt were AWESOME????
@lolajyde1: Kai I beginin 2 hate dis guy….
@sanminized: When will Nigeria be a developed country.we have been developing country since
@barrz: It’s about to hot like I’m cooking in the [email protected]: the boi is so ignorance
@mhisslynbaybie: I don’t like guys that makes noises
@Alhamid19: You know you are razz # if you will attending MUSHIN DAY that will starting today.
@kingdrek: #ThingsIheardDuringPublicLecturesInCU: you kill 2 men or kill 1 men, it is the same offence.
@pweetiepussy: The rain wants to fell.
Recommended: Follow @tkb417 and @stakersden and ask for a follow back. Something is brewing from them!
Rant of the week: @OsizUrUnkle: See these nincompoops (Airtel) sending me ‘do you know you can get 20 free SMS’, fix ur BIS n stop telling me ’bout schitt I don’t need
Tweet of the week: @sandysapphire: In today’s relationships, u can touch each other’s private parts but u can’t touch each other’s cell phones bcos dey are private.
Retweet of the week: @Raider_Dowe asked in his tweet, “Where is d link 2 ginger nw..?”. @papaboss01 retweeted and said: “Ask @Garlic!”
Seriously tweeting: @gigachic: At Eco Bank, the banking hall is so deserted, I swear I’m hearing crickets…Maybe they should change their name to “ECHO bank”
Quote my tweet: @feline_eyes: Not that I’m against Islamic banking. I think its necessary, but asking questions should’ve been the proper thing to do, not clapping.
SUBstance: @Lawndawn: Stop pouting,, It looks like you’ve got fish lips….*not naming names*
Did you miss this tweet? @PengBoiz: So I just checked my H.I.V status online …wow! Life made Easy 😐
Foot Note: Many thanks to @PengBoiz and @Kemmiiii for providing some of the tweets used in this roundup. You can also become a YNaija twi-rrespondent too. It’s quite easy. Get funny, witty and interesting tweets from your timelines and send them to me.