?It’s that most wonderful time of the year?? … and you can feel the dread begin to rise in the pits of your stomach again because for two whole weeks, you’ll have all your family memebers and distant relatives under the same roof with you. The jollof rice will be out of this world, the chicken will be mighty, you will pay and be paid visits, but that’s not what’s got you terrified.
It’s the thought of meeting those side eyes and hearing one more person relating stories of the latest 19 year old cousin who just got hitched (and has carried belle) and confronting numerous questions of “when will you give us IV?” that has you shaking like a malnourished leaf in a thunderstorm.
Not to worry. Your favourite Twitter agony aunt, Eketi, has got you covered with the perfect answers that will blow your detractors away.
Grab a pen:
Are you single? In Nigeria?
Then you know its that time of the year again. As our siblings from the abroad and return in droves, folks will start asking #WhenWillYouMarry?
If you used to fret, worry no more. I got you. This thread is a comprehensive list of appropriate….
— E K E T I (@eketiette) December 15, 2017
…answers to this very annoying question.
CAVEAT:
– Terms and conditions apply sha.
– Use at your discretion.
– Not suitable for singles still living with their parents or guardians.#AllSinglesMatter
— E K E T I (@eketiette) December 15, 2017
Author shall not be liable for any fights, feuds or damages that arise from the usage of these answers.
Now that I'm legally covered, let's continue.#AllSinglesMatter
— E K E T I (@eketiette) December 15, 2017
PART A
These tame, cheeky answers can be used for parents, guardians and those on whose good side you wish to remain.#AllSinglesMatter— E K E T I (@eketiette) December 15, 2017
Reactions
"I'm married by faith, just awaiting the physical manifestation"
— Daddy K (@kokoror_) December 15, 2017
😂😂😂
Yes o. And we shall live by faith and not by sight.
I'm off to use this on someone.— E K E T I (@eketiette) December 15, 2017
I had my own share last weekend 😩. My aunt just came in from the States and after hailing me for the new job I just started, the dreaded question emerged 😧.
Newaiz sha, she is my self-appointed matchmaker and it would be to a Yankee dude. American passport loading 😆😆✌
— The Oluwatofunmiâ„¢ (@T_AyaOba) December 15, 2017
😂😂😂
Abeg load for two.— E K E T I (@eketiette) December 15, 2017
Submit your resumé so that you can be matched with your passport loader appropriately
— The Oluwatofunmiâ„¢ (@T_AyaOba) December 15, 2017
Where can I submit mine too?
— Bukola (@habukia) December 16, 2017
The Imo State Ministry of Happiness and Couples' Fulfilment.
— The Oluwatofunmiâ„¢ (@T_AyaOba) December 16, 2017
🤣😂🤣. Reminds me, have this aunt that her daughter is serious with and Iraqi guy and she is tryna hide It.
The day she was like “when will you marry kwanu, you’re beauty will soon fade ooo?
Reply: I’m joining a Saudi Prince harem.— Nkem. (@nk_dian) December 16, 2017
Lolzz. My very nosy aunty who is always busy comparing my siblings to her own children got a dish of the sarcasm when she asked me today..
— Village People (@MisterOge) December 15, 2017
"you're still in ur fathers house, when will you marry". I told her Jesus Christ is more than 2000yrs & still staying in his father's house
— Village People (@MisterOge) December 15, 2017
Savage!!???
