But, communication is very important. If you’re not on the receiving end of any abuse, more than anything else, try a sit down (preferrably open space) heart to heart approach. (Better than a cowardly text message or third person could do for you).

2) Be Gentle and Sensitive: Yes, the relationship is doomed and you want to jump ship, choose a place that is -preferrably, memorable for the both of you and when you have stated your intention to move forward, (in case you both aren’t there yet), be gentle with your choice of words. You are telling someone  you once shared your heart with, that you are leaving them. Some will react badly- screaming, sobbing, threatening etc, but, be gentle. Be sensitive as they’re hurting and like the stages of grief- anger and denial are stages. Allow your now ex, to vent.

3) Be Direct: Go straight to the point and say exactly what you want to say. You don’t start with, “You are the greatest person in the world…the best part of me, the one I cannot live without and I want to break up with you”.   Yes, you should be gentle and sensitive but stay on the matter.

4) Be a Listener: Even if you were a saint who gave in everything  and the relationship still didn’t work out and you have now sat down and broken the news to your now ex, take the time to listen. Maybe your sainthood garment would receive a beating, maybe you’d learn a few things to have made the relationship work, maybe you’d learn why your now ex held back or strayed. If the mood is safe, the best bet is to talk- and listen.

And now, your relationship is over. We hope it was the best choice.

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Adaobi Okwy blogs at Adaobi Okwy.com

Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.