Adaobi Okwy: 5 ways you can attract love (Y! Superblogger)

by Adaobi Okwy

Are you among those who think love is a myth? Had your heartbroken? Think you are unloveable or that loving is hard? There are many things that one might say to you but, here, I think these 5 by Kelly is both positive and realistic. Read on and afterwards, practice…and tell us what you think.

Self-love comes first

I am a firm believer that what we give out, we get back in return. The qualities in ourselves that we display are the same qualities mirrored back to us in our relationships. Before we can attract love, we must realize that love is within us. Self-love is the foundation in which we build loving relations with others. If we are critical, judgmental, and resistant to loving ourselves, we will treat others similarly, and they will respond likewise to us. The key to mastering self-love is to treat ourselves the way we wish to treat others, and the way we wish for others to treat us. You attract the love and qualities you give out; first to yourself, and then to others. Begin by letting go of negative self-talk and replacing it with loving affirmations. It may seem tedious and silly, but it works. When you have successfully laid the ground work of self-love, you are ready to begin attracting love from another.

Could it be fear of intimacy? Feelings of unworthiness? Unreasonable standards? A belief that you are underserving of love or unlovable? Explore your resistance with openness and compassion. Discover the ways in which you are blocking out love and begin to heal these beliefs. The beliefs you hold are merely thoughts; they are not necessarily truths, and they certainly aren’t fixed. You have the power within you to change your beliefs and create a mindset that is open and receptive to love.

Don’t insist that love comes immediately

Love comes when we least expect it. Hunting for love will never bring the right partner; it will only create longing, lust, and unhappiness. They say all good things come to those who wait. Be patient during this process; when the time is right – love will find you.

Don’t settle

Don’t make the mistake of settling for anybody just to have somebody. Set standards and write a list of what kind of love you want to attract. Remembering that what we give out, we get in return – embrace these qualities in yourself, and you will attract a person who embodies them.

Be ready for love when it does come


Continue loving yourself and you will be able to love another. Be loving, and you will be lovable. Be open and receptive to love. Don’t let your old beliefs build a wall between you and your partner. You are worthy of love. You love without fear. You express love freely and love flows freely back to you. Be the kind of partner you’d like to have. When you notice unfavorable qualities in your significant other, pay close attention to how or when you have exhibited these qualities in your relationship. When you change the way you treat yourself and others, the way they treat you will change as well.

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