Adaobi Okwy: 8 signs you’re with the guy you SHOULD marry (Y! Superblogger)

by Adaobi Okwy


When you get a text or a call from him in the middle of the day- when you’re stressed out or swamped with work, you feel better

Relationships are dicey. They can go from hot to cold in the blink of an eye but still, we love that we’re loved and for that reason, we make a lot of sacrifices, some of which hurt us in the long run. But, what if before we get to the long run, there are signs that could help us not waste our time on the last person we should be with? Here are 8 signs research says we should take note of.

1)    When you saw this article, you clicked on it because you already have him in your heart and you just want to read anyway knowing he has passed them already.

2)    He brags about you to everybody. A guy who wants to spend the rest of his life with you will not introduce you as, “meet…umm…my…umm friend…girl..”. No. He’s the guy who tells everyone about you (maybe even before they ask). He’s the guy who tells people that you make him (want to be) a better person. He also takes you around with him so his friends and family know you.

3)    He makes plans about your future together (and you like it). That guy is the one who will tell you about going to Hawaii with him in six months or a year from now when he gets that big promotion you both are waiting for. If he doesn’t talk (excitedly) about a future with you…or he tells you, “you know, someday I’d go to Hawaii (alone) and meet some wonderful people…well? Simple, he has to make future plans that include you in it otherwise he’s making future plans that doesn’t include you.

4)    When you get a text or a call from him in the middle of the day– when you’re stressed out or swamped with work, you feel better. If his calls or texts add to the burden of the day (cue 1- you know he just wants to talk about himself. Cue 2- you know he wants to remind you that he’s still annoyed with you over whatever…as is always the case) then…redflag.

5)    This is a classic: your girlfriends and male friends complain about their relationships a lot and you are the one they come to because you and your boyfriend have been solid. In fact, you have a hard time imagining what they’re complaining about because they’re either too fickle or nonexistent in your own relationship. There’s trust, tolerance, respect, forgiveness, communication etc…and these your friends just don’t get it!

6)    He’s the one you share almost everything with. When you need to vent about your boss, your friends, your family, your acne…whatever, he is the go to person (and he doesn’t share it with anyone else) and makes you feel better afterwards. If you cannot vent around him, share the trivial but important things to you with him…umm…

7)    That guy is the one who even after a long time together, only gets better. He still tells you you’re precious to him and will always be his treasure and he’s not fighting to make you into who you’re not. He tells you you’re beautiful instead. He makes sacrifices for you and still clears his schedule to make time for you. He continues to care about your friends and family…then, you know.

8)    Your friends, family and everyone else does not say he’s a monster. Yes, we get that not everyone will share in your joy of having found ‘the one’ but then, not EVERYONE should be telling you he isn’t. He’s disrespectful to everyone else but you (someday he’d come around to you). He isn’t always honest. He keeps touch with his exes. He says hurtful things to you or about everyone else. Hmm…


Adaobi Okwy blogs at Adaobi

Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.

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