by ‘Yoma Onosemuode
How dare you talk over my head this time again?
How dare you look down on me with your thoughts?
Was this what you said at the beginning?
I wonder how we came this far in no time
From being high with expectation to being so low in performance
I refuse to be raped by you again
Stop giving me reasons to give in
This was not anything like you said at first.
I confided in you; I shared my past with you
How I’d been abused by my past lovers
I told you about the gang-rapes from my past, lovers that lied
Family members that tore off my clothes behind closed doors
When you came, I was not ready for any man
I needed one but was ready to be all by myself.
Everyone recommended you though
They said you were the dream
They gave me; you gave me tales of your humble past
And fitted it with my personal hopes and aspirations
I thought I saw myself in you
Never knowing that my past pain blinded my mind
If only I knew;
I look back and wish I had married that hard-looking divorcee
Or maybe I should have stayed married to my Ota ex-husband
Now I realize that looks fooled me…
I was done with the big boys.
I thought the guys without shoes would be a better bargain
How is it that I willingly went into your house?
I was escorted by my peers, singing and rejoicing,
Is it right here in the same house i am now being gang-raped?
By these men you said were not a part of you but only a platform for you?
I feel pain all over me, I feel like dying.
The oil at my feet has turned my kids into murders
The politics around my head has produced suicide bombers
Those from my left side return in droves from trouble at the head
Because you have refused to bring all my children to the dining table
You have refused to call a family meeting.
My children have become stronger than their father
All these thoughts fill my head as mounting pains fill my loins
I try to wriggle from beneath your weight,
I am slimy with the sweat of Bretton Woods,
And the bad breath of “the biggest cult in Africa” feels my face
Who will save me? I have prayed too long
Who will save me? I can’t cope with this anymore
The majority of my children have stopped crying
I hear them now shouting
You, their father have pushed them too far
They shout now to save their mother,
They shout now to save my grandchildren,
They shout because past generations didn’t shout enough
You, their father have pushed them beyond 65kilometres!
Now they will ask for all that is due them.
You, their father have pushed them too far!