Inherited grudge, selfish nature | What’s the reason people do not spend quality time with their relatives?

It is a natural human instinct to socialise with others – to share thoughts, ideas, feelings, joyous moments, successes, failures, disappointments, etc, and with family and friends around, social activities are usually fun. Often times, a visit to extended family members helps in bonding the family. But have you ever wondered why some people rarely associate with their extended family members?

One Twitter user seems to know why. He opined that we now live in a society where we hardly get together with our extended family members because we have inherited our parents’ grudges which we know nothing about.

The conversation:

He may be right about this. However, other reasons could be responsible for the lack of family time with relatives because the times have changed.

Advancement in technology is one of the factors we might want to consider as it plays a big role in this. Technology has impacted virtually every aspect of the society including the way we communicate. With all the devices at our disposal today, including phones, tabs, laptops, the internet etc., we can easily communicate with anyone we wish to interact with irrespective of distance – a luxury our fore-fathers never had.

Our ancestors lived in an era when face to-to-face communication was more common. And the family structure encouraged frequent interactions among extended family members as the concept of the nuclear family was not common then until the advent of colonialism.

That notwithstanding, close relatives and distant relatives still maintained contact even after the nuclear family structure was introduced, and the culture was passed down from generation to generation. However, the presence of conflicts in human relationships does lead to rifts that may even severe ties with relatives. And the grudge is sometimes passed down to future generations.

Besides inherited grudges, we live in a generation where many people would rather have virtual hangouts rather than a face-to-face family gathering, and this has been identified as one of the factors affecting family bonding.

Also, personal choice is another factor that may be responsible for the lack of quality family time with extended family members because the same technology that puts a strain on face-to-face family gatherings can also bring families together through virtual realities.


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