by Debarati S. Sen
Is your better-half breaking up your made-in-heaven jodi? Is he/she playing the game of love with a different partner? Is he/she cheating on you? Of course marriages are made in heaven but you need to always remember that, it is here on earth, that they are broken and these questions do crop up sometimes.
Even good people in very good relationships stray. You need to keep a few things in mind if you want your relationship to remain intact.
Don’t let indifference creep in
When a relationship starts dying, then not only do the good things stop coming your way but those lovely fights also stop. So, you miss not just those silly unwarranted smses, post-it notes all over the house but you also miss those little battles and clashes. You start missing the very behaviour that probably used to irritate you. Just make sure that this indifference does not creep into your life. Keep each other involved in each other’s lives, always, in every little way.
Don’t make unreasonable demands
Seema Hingorrany, clinical psychologist and relationship expert says, “One of the causes that a partner will want to stray is that the emotional climate in the marriage is already stifling. One major factor that encourages a suffocating climate in a marriage is that one or both spouses have undue demands on the other, that the other simply can’t meet because it’s unrealistic.”
Honesty goes a long way
This is an important mantra that needs to be kept in mind at all times. Honesty keeps a relationship going and healthy. “Be honest with your partner. Be direct about feelings and have him/her do the same. Always know how your partner is feeling and what things you could both work on to make the relationship more exciting,” says Seema.
Love, care for and respect your partner
Each and every human being wants to be loved. We all want to be cared for and respected for what we are and when our partners shower us with love, care and respect then we just grow closer and then bond better with the other.
“Plan weekly dates together, compliment each other, bring laughter and surprise activities. The bottom line is, every human being wants to feel cared for, loved, and treated with respect. A recipe for dull and boring in a relationship is a couple who cease being interested in one another,” she says.
Dress for success
In any relationship, one of the easiest thing to do is taking your partner and yourself for granted. Just keep in mind that nothing deadens the heart like routine. Get out of your stained shirts and unkempt hair. Take care of yourself and make sure you are attractive. Strut your stuff!
Keep your ears open
Being a good listener is important. There are times when the main reason for a person to stray away from a relationship is that the partner is a bad listener. “My wife just never had time to listen to me and I started to get close to this friend who always had time for me,” says Rahul Kumar, a call-centre executive. Seema says, “A common relationship complaint is that one person (or both) feel that the other does not really listen. This non-listening can happen accidentally or on purpose. Enhance your listening skills.”
Go back to dating
In the beginning every relationship seems perfect but with time, the enthusiasm to put in that extra effort into the relationship just wanes off.
“Never stop dating. In the beginning, you probably planned fun things to do together. You saw movies. You went on weekend trips. You went on hikes. Then you had kids. Now your idea of a date is watching TV once the kids are in bed. Bring romance back into your marriage. Getting the spark back always helps,” advises Seema.
Little things can go a long way in every relationship. Like for a woman, a man helping around the house without being asked to can be highly seductive. For a man, his girl being adventurous and bold in bed can be a huge factor. So go that extra mile and your relationship will last all the way.
Top five tips to keep your relationship alive
-Avoid making undue demands on your partner. Do not make him/her feel suffocated.
-Always be honest with him/her. You need to make sure you both can trust each other.
-Make sure you go out on ‘dates’ with your partner often. Spend quality time with each other.
-Be a good listener. Pay attention to all that he/she is saying.
-Be adventurous and creative in bed.
Read more in Times of India
Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.