Midnight musings: Life and love… and why?

by Ed-Samuel Adegboye

The stark contrast between the reality and fiction of my life and love constantly stares me in the face. I always operated on the premise that love and life would go together, like a horse and carriage. The assumption is very simple: happiness in one aspect of my world would spill into the other part. I would find love, then success, and ride on the proverbial horse and  carriage – love and life – into the sunset.

Apparently life has other plans.

I’ve gotten the love part right, and it’s a dream come true. My mate –  love – could not be more perfect, but as she shifts in her sleep and the springs under our lumpy matress creak softly, I am jolted to reality from my musings. She settles back with a sigh, snoring softly. I look around with dismay at our cramped, rat-infested one bedroom apartment. A new damp patch has started to form on the ceiling, and it bears resemblance to a mocking face. It probably mocks my futile attempt at midnight meditation, I think, and I slip further into my consuming thoughts.

Life and love are like the two rails a train rides on. Both appear isolated, yet they are inexorably linked. At the moment love is my crutch – a support I use for the disappointment my bleak life presents me with everyday. What will it take to let love be the energy that fuels success in my life? The answer that will change the course of my life lies in answering that single question. All I need is the knowledge to piece the puzzle together.

Nothing really prepares you for life. I think my professors should have included it as a university course – LIFE 101, but trapped in the shelter of academics, they are notoriously oblivious to the realities of life in the real world.

The futility of my situation is very clear to me. I sigh in frustration as I look at the sleeping form of my love. If I had as much faith in myself as she did in me, I would have changed my fortunes by now. As a thick blanket of sleep falls over me, I resolve to solve this riddle. Tomorrow is another day…

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