by Alyssa Bailey
You save calories. You don’t have to worry about a beer gut if you don’t drink beer.
1. No hangovers. Ever. A great night can lead to a great next day rather than a gross morning feeling like death warmed over.
2. Your skin won’t lose its shine. You don’t have the dullness or fine lines alcohol, a dehydrant, increases — so no zombie face next morning!
3. Meals (particularly brunch) are always half the price. Forget multiple $10 mimosas making you want to cry when you get your bill.
4. You’re a much cheaper date. Sure, he offered to pay so you shouldn’t feel bad about what you order, but seeing the bill without those two glasses of wine does ease your conscience a bit (and totally justifies spending the saved money on dessert).
5. The fear you left your card and ID at the bar doesn’t exist. “Did I close that bar tab?” No, because you never opened one to start.
6. You have more energy. Alcohol, a depressant, makes people sleepier — which is the last thing you need when you’re out after a long day.
7. It’s easier to get yourself home safely. It may be 3 in the morning, but you can still trust yourself to drive or take the subway (and help your friends get back to their places too).
8. You can always be your friends’ designated driver, and they love you for it. Driving with them singing in the back may not be the ideal way to end your night, but it’s worth it to you to be someone they can trust.
9. Brave things you do — talking to that stunning guy, doing karaoke solo — are automatically more impressive. When your friends say, “I can’t believe you did that sober,” you can be extra proud liquid courage isn’t needed in your life.
10. No blackouts. You will never pass out at that party or wonder how you ended up where you did the next morning.
11. You save calories. You don’t have to worry about a beer gut if you don’t drink beer.
12. You don’t get sick at parties … at least from drinking.Throwing up less = being miserable less = being your friends’ favorite.
13. Your liver won’t be damaged. No cell-destroying shot-taking going on here!
14. You never have to be like, “Why the fuuuuccckk did I text that guy that I love him?” Your friends don’t have any embarrassing voicemails of you calling them, begging them to come out and asking them where they are five times because you just miss them so much. And your ex doesn’t have any random late-night texts saying, “let’s please get back together.”
15. You’re always in control of your words. You’re not going to blurt out some friend’s secret or how you really feel about someone accidentally. Unless, of course, you’re just awkward. :-/
16. You don’t have any mysterious drunk food receipts (or drunk general receipts). When you decide to get Taco Bell with your friends at 4 in the morning, it is a fully conscious decision — not one you will cringe at when you wake up at noon.
17. No beer goggles. He’s not attractive now; he’s not suddenly going to be attractive and have his tongue in your mouth later.
18. You don’t wake up with mysterious bruises. Drunk people feel no pain. Sober people do.
19. If you hook up with someone, you’ll always be aware you did use protection. It’s one less hazy question lingering in your mind, and one less panicked pregnancy test taken.
20. You remember everything. Every hilarious, crazy thing your drunk friends did, you’ll be able to say next day, “Yes, that happened and yes, I saw it.”
21. Your life is less dramatic. There’s so much less you have to worry about physically and emotionally when you don’t drink. You’ve never had an alcohol-fueled meltdown that you have to apologize for later. That alone is pretty much worth it.
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Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.