Every day on the Nigerian internet, there are people who keep our eyes glued to our phone screens as we read their rants, opinions, perspectives on political and social matters, etc. Sometimes, they are just downright ridiculous. We make it our job to take down the names of these noisemakers.
Here’s our list from today:
1. Omojuwa
Sounds like folks have upgraded from theft on the ground to theft in the air. Arik was the victim of this.
One of the thieves caught on the Arik flight Lagos to Abuja this morning. Impressive security set up by Arik pic.twitter.com/Wc3wPafOEJ
— JJ. Omojuwa (@Omojuwa) May 19, 2017
The authorities were alerted as soon as the incident happened when we were airborne. They came in on arrival. pic.twitter.com/287OM0Roti
— JJ. Omojuwa (@Omojuwa) May 19, 2017
They are now being led away by the authorities. I don't know how many years for stealing in the air. LOL. pic.twitter.com/HU0rqfZZIo
— JJ. Omojuwa (@Omojuwa) May 19, 2017
The captain explaining how the incident happened. Thumbs up to Arik. They had a spy to watch out because the thieves had been on a run. pic.twitter.com/ouQdl0hF2E
— JJ. Omojuwa (@Omojuwa) May 19, 2017
Quick tip, always make sure to sit across from your luggage, so that you can see it from where you are seated in the plane.
— JJ. Omojuwa (@Omojuwa) May 19, 2017
So, instead of having your luggage directly on top of your seat,have it in the opposite direction. You sit left, luggage goes right. In view
— JJ. Omojuwa (@Omojuwa) May 19, 2017
I understand the thieves board early, they monitor thouse who aren't seated with their hand luggage in view. Wait for time to operate.
— JJ. Omojuwa (@Omojuwa) May 19, 2017
I also noted that this operation likely happens mostly on very early flights. More people sleep during such flight b/c they woke up 2 early.
— JJ. Omojuwa (@Omojuwa) May 19, 2017
Arik Air actually had someone pose like a regular passenger seated far behind pretending to be asleep. That person saw everything…
— JJ. Omojuwa (@Omojuwa) May 19, 2017
This time though, the spy let them complete the transfer before making his own move. They were caught literally in the act.
— JJ. Omojuwa (@Omojuwa) May 19, 2017
But these thieves have money o, they should be called "investors". Using their money to buy plane tickets to "get" more money ????????
— Wale Gates ???? (@walegates) May 19, 2017
Investors really, they are a new dimension of thieves, stealing in air, you gotta respect these ones! Legendary status ???
— Tolu, 5 others.. (@badmanchilly) May 19, 2017
2. Gege
Will the West and East ever unite to put the North in its place?
Nigeria is built on rivalry amongst North, East & West. The North has been the most successful in powerplay because East & West won't unite
— Gege (@nigeriasbest) May 19, 2017
If West & East want to achieve their aim of true federalism, they need to bury the beef and unite. That was the deal Tinubu should have done
— Gege (@nigeriasbest) May 19, 2017
Instead Tinubu wasted his time on a deal with the 'anti-federalist North'. It's still not clear what he was hoping to achieve….
— Gege (@nigeriasbest) May 19, 2017
I just hope that going forward, politicians take time to identify their ideological goals before entering alliances…..
— Gege (@nigeriasbest) May 19, 2017
I just hope that going forward, politicians take time to identify their ideological goals before entering alliances…..
— Gege (@nigeriasbest) May 19, 2017
This is what should have happened in 1983, for example. But at last moment, they couldn't do it. https://t.co/k8OYPACcwm
— The Runner (@je_mc2) May 19, 2017
3. Amara Nwankpa
How about a bill for the protection of Jollof Rice?
Amara Nwankpa is up to it:
The Nigerian Jollof Rice Protection and Advancement Bill
A bill to designate Nigerian Jollof Rice as a protected national asset— Amara Nwankpa (@Nwankpa_A) May 19, 2017
4. Rosanwo
Rosanwo shares his thoughts about the Buhari situation:
Need lesson in history to say absence of @MBuhari is very significant. Our political invested in persons not institutions ??
— Rosanwo (@rosanwo) May 19, 2017
President @MBuhari has embarked on indefinite leave to receive medical treatment. The VP is left to follow basic administrative duties
— Rosanwo (@rosanwo) May 19, 2017
It is not @MBuhari's fault that he has taken ill, it is a natural phenomenon. The inability to resign unless death is embarrassing
— Rosanwo (@rosanwo) May 19, 2017
5. Ayo Sogunro
Ambode has been celebrating bridges he’s built in Lagos and Ayo Sogunro has a problem with it:
All this fanfare for a bridge? in 2017? In our 'mega-city' Lagos? Please sir, let's just hide this shame from other African countries. ? https://t.co/Q90KunhU81
— AYO SOGUNRO (@ayosogunro) May 18, 2017
Where is the fanfare, Ayo? The question is, will this bridge solve any problem? Will lives be better for it?
— LARIGOLD (@Lanre_Olagunju) May 18, 2017
If Ambode does not hold a commission ceremony, will we say it is a bad thing? Then why do we say it is a good thing when he does so? Think.
— AYO SOGUNRO (@ayosogunro) May 19, 2017
The worst damage we citizens can do to our society is to be grateful to the government for infrastructure. The government is PAID to work.
— AYO SOGUNRO (@ayosogunro) May 19, 2017
Actually, there are a lot of 'worst' damages but, you know, fearful servitude ranks high up there.
— AYO SOGUNRO (@ayosogunro) May 19, 2017
When we are rejoicing for branded wheelbarrows, why won't we be grateful for infrastructure? https://t.co/knIIwJ5aM3
— Edu Montee (@edumontee) May 19, 2017
LOL…Ayoooooo!
Okay, Tell us how should we have launched the bridge? https://t.co/IdTZa5TP1q
— Folu (@FoluShaw) May 19, 2017
6. Jaja Jasper
Jaja is pondering crazy debtors
I really hate it when my debtor ghosts on me. It's really infuriating.
I have creditors and even when I default, I stay in touch.
— Chi (@JajaPhD) May 19, 2017
Someone borrowed 16k from me and stopped taking my calls. Like, he's still alive but he just will not answer my call. This is so annoying.
— Chi (@JajaPhD) May 19, 2017
Another owes me £70 and blocked me on FB and whatsapp. Like, what did I ever do to meet these people?
I can actually forgive the debts.
— Chi (@JajaPhD) May 19, 2017
Stop borrowing…. Only give what you can do without
— ?Nora? (@miss__dimples) May 19, 2017
Bruh! There's someone owing me 15k that's changed number and I've not seen since I borrowed him money but what will a man do? https://t.co/hNSeMEntsp
— Iseunife The First (@Shawnife_) May 19, 2017
7. Thoby made us smile with this:
My Dad???❤️️❤️️❤️️❤️️❤️️thank you for taking me to varsity even though you are a security guard ????this is for you. I love you ? pic.twitter.com/UlvhgRTiPu
— Ma Jay (@Thoby_Mabanga) May 19, 2017
Was it necessary to mention his occupation tho
— † Yt ? Coley ming † (@Coley_ming) May 19, 2017
you know why it's important? Because security guards don't earn much and managed to take me to school? now stay blessed
— Ma Jay (@Thoby_Mabanga) May 19, 2017
Regardless of what they do for a living, they always and will provide for us no matter how big or small..??? my mom is a security guard too?
— ♊03 JUNE?♊ (@VivianMotsabi) May 19, 2017
I want to cry, but I can't I'm a man. This is beautiful.
— Here to Learn (@lungani_ndumiso) May 19, 2017
Ndumiso man do cry, its human.
— SirSabastian (@sabastian_81) May 19, 2017
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