by Mark Anthony Osuchukwu
“They say, “Those that live in glass houses should not walk around naked”. I say, “she who suffers breast cancer forgets the word ‘cleavage’”
Over the years, I’ve grown to understand that minding your business is a business that can’t flourish in the human race. The ability to do ‘eyes right’ eludes almost all of us in a way that beats me. If minding your business was a criterion for growing tall, I’m dead sure we’ll all be dwarfs except maybe the blind people who are also blind at heart.
That is why I will pretend to understand Joy and her vow never to mind her business. I cannot pretend for a long time so expect my outrage.
Nathaniel Bassey came up with an inspiration to start an online worship challenge weeks ago and to my greatest surprise, people turned up for this Holy Ghost groove. The internet was littered with hashtags #Olowogbogboro, #Suddenly, #JustLikeThat, and still is. People shared on their page, people took to WhatsApp to broadcast one good news on WhatsApp and for once, it wasn’t the usual ‘forward to 100 people or die’.
I was particularly elated that people could sacrifice their sleep not for sex, sexting or some TV program but for an online worship service. My jaw drops every time I think of this: despite the madness of our network providers and the recent hike in data bundles, we closed our eyes to our draining data, fixing our eyes on Jesus who will drain our problems away.
I must say; Joy almost disappointed me by not speaking up on time. The bashing actually came late. She is that horny cock that always wandered around my house haunting hens and jumping on them humping as though he knew what he was doing.
That is Joy.
Joy wrote the rant and as usual Nigerians who are so irresponsible in every sense of it began to hawk the post from platform to platform convincing people like Ponzi scheme peddlers. I read it and smiled.
I had actually missed her wonderful style of writing. I would later see on her wall that CNN, the hub of lies, used some lines in her parable of lies in the post on the hallelujah challenge.
That gesture must have tickled the clitoris of her ego. I am not sure if she came because I am also not sure if sad people who are whispers away from menopause cum. If she did cum, that’s good. If she didn’t, better. Joy headlines the school of thought that preaches tolerance.
Whatever happened to leaving us alone to ‘fool’ ourselves online with our own phones and data? Nobody came to your door to knock this time. Nathaniel Bassey didn’t ask you for offering or money to buy a private Jet (Dude can feed you anyways…).
Joy goes online ranting like a horny parrot while throwing tantrums with her short arms that would pass for Paralympics.
She asks: “has Nigerian spirituality affected Nigeria as a country in politics, education, economy, health care, vision..?”
Madam Joy, why didn’t you add internet, feminism and Buhari? Spirituality might as well be held responsible for the bad network of GLO or for the ill luck of a runs girl who went missing.
I wonder what is it Joy was high on. What does spirituality have to do with politics, bikonu? Even Economy. My friend who can smoke anything -even mosquito blood- cannot reason this way. But, Madam Joy reasons anyhow and churns out aftermaths of her highness and serve it to future leaders of Nigeria who take it without processing.
Joy said the Hallelujah Challenge will change nothing in Nigeria. Nathaniel Bassey isn’t an APC member. He never said he wished to change Nigeria. He is waiting for you and your learnedness to change Nigeria with your online Jackie-chan lifestyle.
Nathaniel wants to CHANGE the face of worship among Internet-using Nigerians. He wants to draw us closer to that which the world has been chasing us from. He wants to show the devil that the phone we use in sexting and watching porn can also be used to serve God.
Guess what? He is achieving this thing easily. Every day the number keeps increasing. You said we should try the Science challenge and mental challenge.
You, on your part, has said we should try the #ScienceChallenge and mental challenge.
We are waiting for scientists like you and mental people like you to kick it off so people who didn’t do Chemistry and Biology well in school can join you.
Oh, madam Joy said that we are vulnerable as religious people. Lol. Somebody is running away from vulnerability. Shifting it to us won’t work.
We know that you model vulnerability.
You catwalk on the run way of uncertainty with your frail legs tucked into your over-sized stiletto with a gait of a first time sleep-walker. Next time, try another line.
We, the entire Hallelujah Challenge people and Church people in Nigeria do not care about your vulnerability. Why our own dey pepper you for body? Leave us. We are vulnerable because we don’t want to join the intellectual gang?
Nowhere in the bible did anybody smell the Kingdom because of plenty brain and science challenge.
Those things have their place. They do.
Religion has its own place too. They are different hustles geared at different results. Blinding your eyes to this truth is not only shocking. It is stupefying because an ‘intellectual’ shouldn’t draw parallel lines against religion, politics and development.
So much for political correctness.
Last night’s worship was mind-blowing. I couldn’t complete. My emotions had contorted. I cried from a place of deep sincerity and humility to the God of Moses and Elijah. After that, I kept hurting each time I got a new notification that another dimwitted frustrated Nigerian liked that post of yours.
I said that I must respond to your push with a light shove.
Be warned, madam Joy.
Leave the way people decide to serve God alone. It’s not your service.
They say, “Those that live in glass houses should not walk around naked”. I say, “she who suffers breast cancer forgets the word ‘cleavage’”
What works for others may never work for you because you lack the ability.
[Read also]: “From where I stand, that Hallelujah Challenge critique smells of hypocrisy”
Op–ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija
Mark Anthony Osuchukwu is a writer who does not respect himself. He says things the way he feels. When he feels otherwise, he apologizes if you like. He could be reached on Facebook with his name or his mail @ [email protected]
So many could-be points in Mr Osuchukwu’s article but then it’s so difficult to see past the blatant disrespect for Ms Bewaji and all the “Nigerians who are so irresponsible in every sense” because they agree with her or shared her thoughts across platforms “like Ponzi scheme peddlers”. WOW! How is this even an acceptable way to speak about others? And in public?
Worst yet, the points you could have made got buried deeper under the unbelievably sexist lines. Really? you thought attacking her (disrespectfully) in sexual terms would be the best way to get your points across? It’s so hard to believe I just read this.
Menopause is not an anatomical defect that you can throw around as an insult. It’s the same way “her short arms” or being in the “Paralympics” (an event organized for people with physical impairments) should never cross your mind as elements to be used in your verbal attacks on anyone.
WOW! I really cannot believe I just read this.
Thank you Mark for this response to Joy’s post. That being said, I did pick from her write up (I may be wrong) that Joy is not completely opposed to the revival move, however, she is vehemently opposed to the concept of “serving God with our lips, but our hearts are far from Him”; if not how does one explain the fact that with all the revival drives in time past and the proliferation of churches on all streets in our country, EVIL STILL THRIVES! Moreover, another takeaway for me, from her post is the need for ALL of Us to follow up our faith with actions, even the bible preaches that – “faith without works is dead”. God will not do for us that which he has already equipped us to do for us ourselves – Therein lies Joy’s dilemma with the Nigerian Christian, as we tend to do more of spirituality and less of result oriented actions that will in the long run move our nation forward.
Religion, is not an excuse for mediocrity.
Finally, I sense that Joy will within the period of this revival, experience an amazing touch from Olowogbogboro (If she hasn’t already)……
Apparently this person has a personal beef with her. His point could be passed across without the unnecessary insults. Joy made her stand known…with no Abusive/insulting phrases. She is entitled to her opinion. Why insult her? Pointless.
And your reason for this is purely because you have been trying to get her attention on Facebook since 2015 and she keeps ignoring your messages and finally called you out on it.yeah yeah we know the story.grow a pair pls
mr osuchukwu is on point, though i admire joy a lot but she went out of line,and needs to be brought back to the que which has been well achieved by mark. i think she has raised a valid point in her rant but she missed the mark, if i may ask how many petitions has she sponsored against politicians milking nigeria dry. joy should understand that Nathaniel bassey is a minister of God and not some kind of activist,even if he’s to engage in activism that should be through his calling and that’s what he is doing, bringing spiritual revival to those who needs it. finally joy raised the issue of persons who bow to pastors that can’t even boast of a waec certificate. i disagree with that she should do a proper check on nigeria pastors and see that about 70 percent of them re well educated and am sorry to state this obvious fact “if joy can be under the leadership of president buhari who dosnt ve a waec certificate with raising continous objections,then she should just hold her peace and quite all this threats been issued to mr ossuchukwu abi when she was ranting about #hallelujahchallenge did anyone sue her. thanks
Joy laid out her arguments without any personal criticism.
This brat of an author decides to attack her as if he has personal beef with her.
Using menopause as an insult.
Of cos menopausal women are angry, you obviously learnt that from your mother’s behavior.
After this stupid article, you will lift up “holy hands” this midnight to worship God.
And people wonder why African Christianity is a damn joke.
Shior.
For someone who was in the spirit praying and praising, it didn’t take you long to come online and cuss another person out, is that what your Christianity teaches you? To talk about cum, horny cocks et al? I thought Christianity was turn the other cheek? Pray at night and fight by day? I wish his article was at least constructive enough to give you points. The grammar in itself leaves a lot to be desired.
Religion doesn’t call names, religion won’t use profanities- The hallelujah challenge has obviously not affected your person, talk less of your spirit man. It is clear everyone is there for miracles, God is not a herbalist.
As usual the point goes over their heads. Read her rant again with your eyes and mind open this time.