Should you and your bestie be having intimate moments?

If you have not been having sexual relations with your best friend, you would not have believed that people think it is a necessity for the best friendship to blossom. In fact, some argue that ‘best friends with benefits’ has been a norm, but people are only willing to talk about it these days.

Literally, “what are friends for?”

The beginning of this conversation

Twitter Nigeria’s men advocate – maninist? (life coach, on his profile) – Shola started a conversation about his inability to keep female friends because sex is always top of mind.

Shola uses an analogy of a chicken which you keep but have to eventually eat someday.

He uses numbers like 99.9% of men think this way – want to have sex with their female friends.

To take it a notch higher, Shola asks his followers play a game:

Literally “there’s nothing new under the Sun”, so, again, do not be surprised by what you hear or see going forward.

Indeed, users played the game and posted screenshots from their chats on other chatting platforms. In a democracy, you will argue that, indeed, male besties want to have sex with their female friends.

Scream ‘Omoooooooo!” after you read the responses.

Shola’s tweets only should people really want to be friends that have sex with each other – there is a recurring sentence ‘you are attractive’.

Read also:

But, should friends be having sex with each other?

On a general note, friends should stay as friends, but what if the both of them did not discuss their kind of friendship before sailing the ship? At this point, they assume they just want to stay as people to who they can spill their secrets, without knowing that there is a light they are not seeing at the end of the tunnel.

Away from that, there is an argument that people should be with their friends, per relationship, and not just anyone they find attractive or expensive.

But, it is now obviously more common to think about having sex with your best friend than you might realise because it’s not one of those things that people commonly talk about. However, actually acting on those thoughts is a different thing altogether.

Let’s do a quick run-through of reasons you may be thinking of sex with your bestie:

  1. Your libido is an undying flame: Sex buddies are not always available and you are always horny. If you could simply have sex with a friend, even your best friend, it would make things a hell of a lot easier. The thinking is that it is just sex and there will be no hard feelings. If it’s a one-and-done, the risk might really be pretty low.
  2. There is an attraction: We usually think that sex will foster a romantic relationship when we are attracted to someone. But hey, if you are attracted to someone, have that discussion before having sex. That way, your bestie can let you know how he feels, and you can either act on your feelings or work on getting over them.
  3. Just human connection: Perhaps you don’t have feelings for your best friend, but you crave intimacy, and sex certainly provides a certain form of intimacy.
  4. Your head is filled with those thoughts: Occasionally, we have what turns out to be a pretty unusual – or bad – idea because of where our head is. It might be that you’re drunk or high. Or you might be grieving, stressed out or otherwise not yourself.

Before we go on, there are the ones who do not consider having sex with their best friends, notwithstanding the situation.

It is up to you to have sex with your best friend, especially since you both already know each other and may have mentally signed a consent form before then. The encounter may just be a way to get it out of your system. It could also be a way to acquire some experience to eliminate anxieties later.

But there are risks.

That ten-minute intimate moment may spark a fire that was never there and if you are incompatible and start a romantic relationship…it will end in tears. Besides, the intimate moment may just end as regrettable sex.

If the support your best friend provides you is more significant, then adding sex to the mix might just be too risky. Can you deal with it if your best friend suddenly isn’t your best friend anymore?

Remember that bad sex exists and one or both parties may feel hurtful after it.

Scientists have shown, say experts at the University of Texas, that the more you know about someone, the more attractive they become.

This study was done with college students at the beginning and end of the semester. It showed that the more time you spend with someone, the more you like them.

In a later study, the same teachers asked 167 couples how long they had known each other before they started dating and if they had been friends before.

They found that couples usually knew each other for four months before going out on a date. Also, 40% of them had already made friends with each other.

Shola’s thread is Nigeria’s own study.

If you are going to have sex with your best friend, please, remove the ‘friend’ from the sailing ship.

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