Don’t lie to yourself, about what the opportunities that exist in your industry are, because someday ahead you will have to confront that lie and the illusions you created around it, and your heart will still be broken. Instead, embrace what the reality is today and plan through it.
Don’t lie to yourself that your country is irredeemable. Make it clear to yourself that it is redeemable, and you are only one of the very many who have refused to find and display the courage to change things. When you accept this, then you are able to do the little you can, without hiding.
Don’t lie to yourself that you’re more physically attractive than you are, by the standards of today’s social conditioning. But don’t lie to yourself that you’re less physically attractive than you are. Accept what is, the way it is, and what it means, whatever that is.
Don’t lie to yourself that you’re slimmer than you are. But don’t lie to yourself that you’re more overweight than you are either.
Don’t lie to yourself that your boyfriend used you. Tell yourself that you also used him – to make yourself feel better, to make your friends jealous, to cope with loneliness.
Don’t lie that you took that job because you wanted to change the world. Tell yourself the truth – that you wanted to show the world you had arrived, that you wanted to prove to yourself that you were special, that you wanted to show your ex-boss what she was missing.
Don’t lie to yourself. Tell yourself the truth – especially about yourself.
Because insecurity, pain, fear and unhappiness hide under every lie that you tell yourself, and one day they will all come out, and the whole edifice will come crashing down.
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Chude Jideonwo is host of the TV and radio network #WithChude, which is creating safe spaces for conversations about mental, emotional and spiritual health across Africa. He is also co-founder of human flourishing company, Joy, Inc.