Every day on the Nigerian internet, there are people who keep our eyes glued to our phone screens as we read their rants, opinions, perspectives on political and social matters, etc. Sometimes, they are just downright ridiculous. We make it our job to take down the names of these noisemakers.
Here’s our list from today:
1 Donald Trump
This one has passed noise; it’s a hurricane, blowing down on us relentlessly and we are tired. Yes, we are very tired. Someone needs to slam Trump’s Twitter fingers- and all their heirs and assigns- with a permanent injunction so our brains and souls may find needed rest.
Jeez!
It is unbecoming of a president to attack a political ally during their time of grief, and that’s what Trump did to Mayor Sadiq Khan of London. Not once. Twice. He had to be taking a page out of the Politics 101 Black Book, else he’d know bettr; do better too.
We are tired. And find it all deplorable.
[Read also]: The Thread: “Unhinged rants” “You’ve failed as a human” | America blows up at Trump
2. Ayo Sogunro
Apparently, politics brings out the worst in people. This time, the ‘fencists’ win:
Reminder: Any narrative that focuses on GEJ v Buhari is a false narrative. GEJ was bad, Buhari was bad and people just chose their poison.
— AYO SOGUNRO (@ayosogunro) June 5, 2017
Reactions:
4. Aisha
The three London terrrorists can’t find an imam between them. Powerful statement!
https://twitter.com/aishagani/status/871744296550105088
5. Victor Asemota
All about third-world country moves:
When we started implementing MobileMoney in Ghana, MTN's biggest headache was just paying for electricity bills for their base stations.
— Victor Asemota (@asemota) June 5, 2017
I was shocked to discover that their base stations were powered by the electricity utility and not generators like Nigeria. They needed MM.
— Victor Asemota (@asemota) June 5, 2017
In Nigeria, you have to worry about generator redundancy and not utility company backup. You need backup generators for your generators.
— Victor Asemota (@asemota) June 5, 2017
6. Check Tiote
Former Newcastle United footballer is dead. He collapsed during training in China. The football world mourns:
The thoughts of everyone at Arsenal are with the loved ones of Cheick Tiote
May he rest in peace pic.twitter.com/zEo5FF5lcE
— Arsenal FC (@Arsenal) June 5, 2017
https://twitter.com/Sporf/status/871786505370513408
RIP ?❤️ Cheick Tiote pic.twitter.com/P5XzH3iQ2X
— SPORTbible (@sportbible) June 5, 2017
Rest in peace, Cheick Tioté – our condolences are with his family and friends. pic.twitter.com/F6FvoNkna1
— Chelsea FC (@ChelseaFC) June 5, 2017
Dreadful news that Cheick Tioté has passed away. So young. So tragic.
— Gary Lineker (@GaryLineker) June 5, 2017
Everyone will remember THAT goal.
From 4-0 down to 4-4, courtesy of a spectacular Cheick Tiote volley.
Watch: https://t.co/sv7cX7yCAu pic.twitter.com/ElZdXlFiGU
— BBC Sport (@BBCSport) June 5, 2017
Devastating news of the death of Cheick Tiote. RIP. ⚫⚪
— Alan Shearer (@alanshearer) June 5, 2017
The thoughts of everyone at Liverpool Football Club are with the family and friends of Cheick Tiote after his passing today. Rest in peace.
— Liverpool FC (@LFC) June 5, 2017
Completely devastated and saddened by the death of cheick tiote…why now Bro…Rest Well pic.twitter.com/ak8x2iAH7F
— ASAMOAH GYAN (@ASAMOAH_GYAN3) June 5, 2017
7. Carlos Lopes:
Babatunde Osotimehin is gone. We mourn the African leader he was. I mourn the colleague in the trenches for Africa's transformation. pic.twitter.com/QAsFi4VW0l
— Carlos Lopes (@LopesInsights) June 5, 2017
Worldwide tributes to this man today have just been so overwhelming and heartfelt. And Nigeria was never led by one such as this… 🙁 https://t.co/vRIoAcw74N
— Molara Wood (@molarawood) June 5, 2017
8. Dean
No bragging rights for sex a minor.
Niggas love saying they were 11 fucking their 20-year old baby sitter. My nigga, you were molested.
— dean (@vxrnvn) June 5, 2017
https://twitter.com/MuvaPhia/status/871723786340491264
Cause it's just wrong. And niggas don't know how to get that.
— dean (@vxrnvn) June 5, 2017
https://twitter.com/MuvaPhia/status/871724872312827904
A bunch of broken mfs breeding and raising kids who had potential to break the cycle. It's all bad
— dean (@vxrnvn) June 5, 2017
https://twitter.com/MuvaPhia/status/871725353332383744
https://twitter.com/illKilRoy/status/871783283272679426
?
— Get Sexy. (@QWiseFlier) June 5, 2017
Literally raped.
You DID NOT have the juice at 11.
She was just a pedophile..& I'm so sorry😔 https://t.co/3JGVo4uKI2— ZOLA is Talking.. (@_zolarmoon) June 5, 2017
8. Power Diva
Say no to Puff Puff.
https://twitter.com/BrownieDivaB/status/871673382823223296
Reactions:
surprisingly the ones that form don't have boyfriends….
— Dilly (@dillyphiancee) June 5, 2017
We like them like that
— Tobenna (@tobby_stark) June 5, 2017
God bless you man
— Gideon (@EBUBOSS) June 5, 2017
as the hunger is real nko?
— Gone Rogue (@king_bukay) June 5, 2017
As the Hunger is real nko? ?
— Nazor ?? (@Danichizy) June 5, 2017
If it were a large Burger or Subway will you say the same thing?
— Your President (@Evie__Frye) June 5, 2017
Leave them . We are not complaining https://t.co/SHUk6H9MaF
— BollyLomo (@ItsBollyLomo) June 5, 2017
Baby blow that puff puff abeg , and let breeze enter your mouth. You sexy bastard
— BollyLomo (@ItsBollyLomo) June 5, 2017
9. Chimamanda
Incompetemnce dressed up as strategy is stll incompetence
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie: "Incompetence dressed up as 'strategy' is still incompetence." Via @qz pic.twitter.com/Sy2sXETh0m
— Afripop Mag (@Afripopmag) June 5, 2017
This one’s for you, Trump.
Reformed social media monitoring spirit
Who else? <3 https://www.facebook.com/tutorgadgets/