Every day on the Nigerian Internet, there are people who keep our eyes glued to our phone screens as we read their rants, opinions, perspectives on political and social issues, etc. Sometimes, they are just downright ridiculous. We make it our job to take down the names of these noisemakers.

Here are the ones we saw today:

Cubana Lagos has inauguration party on Friday, May 31st. Babajide Sanwo-Olu is the guest of honour.

Lol we are moving from a Quilox governor to a Cubana governor.

Lagosians, God safe us.

— Ugonnia (@AustinYugo) May 29, 2019

Pop champagne all the way.

Under NO circumstances should you send this sort of email to a hiring manager. Even if you were recommended by the CEO, I WILL NOT hire you.

Beyond foolish. pic.twitter.com/2SSi1PAFHr

— Amaka Anku (@AmakaAnku) May 29, 2019

Amaka, why are you this wicked and heartless???

Is breakfast food eaten in the morning or a particular kind of food? I’m asking because you will see restaurants with signs like “breakfast served till 8pm” or you hear someone say “they don’t sell breakfast in that restaurant” even though they sell other foods in the morning.

— Oloye Akin Alabi (@akinalabi) May 29, 2019

Buy me lunch and I’ll explain things to you xx

Dear future wife,

You must disclose to me if you have ever slept with a married man.

This is a ground for divorce if I find out later.

— Chinedu Adikwu_esq (@iadikwu) May 29, 2019

Nigerian men and misogyny are like 5 and 6.

But why can’t the world order be like this? Work Monday and Tuesday, rest at home Wednesday, work Thursday and Friday. Is this not perfect? It is. But of course, this world hates perfection. Smh

— Lady Pepisko (@MissIgho) May 29, 2019

You are a very lazy brat.

Amaka, have you read & digested the “HR Code of Ethics & Rules of Professional Conduct?”

These ones apply to you:

– Enhance public image of profession
– Courtesy and civility
– Give independent advise to individuals
– Act as a mentor
– Do not retaliate when someone complains https://t.co/5b6XO1BmBZ

— Tunde Omotoye ?? (@TundeTASH) May 29, 2019

OK, prof.