Every day on the Nigerian Internet, there are people who keep our eyes glued to our phone screens as we read their rants, opinions, perspectives on political and social issues, etc. Sometimes, they are just downright ridiculous. We make it our job to take down the names of these noisemakers.

Here’s our list from today:

1. Samuel Akinlotan

I know there are two pronunciations for "Schedule". The American and British.

I hear a lot of people use the American, despite our purported British colonisation.

I'd rather call it Schedule than Schedule anyway. I don't like the sound of the other Schedule.

— Samuel Akinlotan (@SamAkinlotan) September 12, 2018

Welldone Samuel Welldone.

If they ask you now you will say you have explicitly stated your opinion right?

Spelling without pronunciation…yimu.

2. Deji Aderogba

Such narcissism on Twitter…

~ Sometimes, I look myself in the mirror and I just say “Thank God”. How can someone be this fine?!!! How?!!!! No, how?!!!

I’m just too fine!!!

*if you have seen me off this app before, don’t judge me based on the past* ?????

— director D. (@DirectedByDiji) September 12, 2018

We have hear, can we pass now?

3. Kate Henshaw

Deodorant is VERY important!!!!
Extremely important!
Some smells can cause discombobulation of your medula oblongata!!!!
??????

— Kate Henshaw (@HenshawKate) September 12, 2018

Lol! E reach that one? discom… what!?

4. E-zrael Ani

iPhone gat youths of these days thinking Photography is their calling ?

— E-zrael Ani (@EzraelAni) September 12, 2018

E ma da won loun.

Just like those that will take a picture of the sun and the cloud and will think they are Kelechi Amadi-Obi. Some will say… ‘such art‘.

See example:

5.  Umeh

Dubai is preparing for air taxi's, and were still here struggling with road that buses will pass through. They're in the next century, we're still suffering from post independence trauma. Smh.

— Umeh and 99 others (@UmehOMA) September 12, 2018

Smh rigorously!

But let’s hope we will get there and let’s do our part too. Good followership aids good leadership.

6. Favour Onyeoziri

Lol! Favour cannot even wait for the guy to finish tweeting.

I agree,

Yours is the most dangerous weed in the market. https://t.co/esyx8uftmP

— FAVOUR ONYEOZIRI (GCFR) (@Rouvafe) September 12, 2018

But what is Mr Alabi tweeting sef?

We might not understand that tweet for the next 50 years!

7. Biyi

I’ve never heard about people abroad complaining about mosquito bites

Is it that African mosquitoes just decided to be a group of terrorists?

— Biyi The Plug ? (@Baddman20) September 12, 2018

They have mosquitoes in their slums too but Nigeria has more slums I guess, so more mosquitoes.

8. Reekado Banks

They will tell you “BE YOURSELF”
When u eventually do, they’ll come back and tell you “PEOPLE DONT DO THINGS THIS WAY”

— REEKADO BANKS (@ReekadoBanks) September 12, 2018

Sir…welcome to society.