Every day on the Nigerian internet, there are people who keep our eyes glued to our phone screens as we read their rants, opinions, perspectives on political and social matters, etc. Sometimes, they are just downright ridiculous. We make it our job to take down the names of these noisemakers.
Here’s our list from today:
1 Football fans
Real Madrid has won the Champions league for a record 12 times after defeating Italian side, Juventus 4-1 at this season’s final, and as usual, there’s a ruckus on Twitter NG:
Since Mbappe opened their yansh, Madrid spotted the Crack.
— Papa Bule (@bule_jr) June 3, 2017
Hala Madrid!!!
— Big Fish Gee (@GbemmyG) June 3, 2017
This football sha. Never ever saw Juventus conceding four. I could certainly see them losing, but never conceding four. Oh well.
— The Runner (@je_mc2) June 3, 2017
https://twitter.com/Kingwole/status/871104461510410241
2. Lolade Nwanze
Juventus must win tonight o, or else… I can't placate a grown man biko.
— Lolade Nwanze (@LoladeSowoolu) June 3, 2017
You concede 3 goals all season, and then concede FOUR in the final? Sob. Sob. Juventus.
— Lolade Nwanze (@LoladeSowoolu) June 3, 2017
And no word was spoken. What a night it shall be. Sigh.
— Lolade Nwanze (@LoladeSowoolu) June 3, 2017
This is so sad. Tragic, in fact. Sob. Sob.
— Lolade Nwanze (@LoladeSowoolu) June 3, 2017
Real Madrid fans right now! #ChampionTheMatch #UCLfinal #uclfinal2017 pic.twitter.com/dDwQFBInwR
— Y! Online #WorldCup (@YNaija) June 3, 2017
2. PMB
Nigerians have no chill. Is this nt a proper weiste?
Since you think you're so smart, who's this? pic.twitter.com/R9uyXn8r47
— Nimah A (@MsNemah) June 3, 2017
Taribo West.
— Mr Boro (@iamMrBoro) June 3, 2017
Nigerians like to claim everyone as one of theirs sha. Is this not Gandalf?
— OOO|| Epitre Vivant (@gbengaosowe) June 3, 2017
PMB
— John Ekpenyong (@ekpenyong_john) June 3, 2017
Gandalf na.. whush PMB?
— OOO|| Epitre Vivant (@gbengaosowe) June 3, 2017
Are you a Nigerian?
— John Ekpenyong (@ekpenyong_john) June 3, 2017
Daddy don't mind him, I'm Nigerian and that's Sponge Bob Square Pants
— ????? Areg⛽️? (@OrissAreg_) June 3, 2017
3. Mercy Abang
Speaking of PMB…
To be fair, @MBuhari warned that he will be grossly incompetent… pic.twitter.com/3nUKNUVGRi
— Khaleesi ?? (@AbangMercy) June 3, 2017
Reactions
4. Mark Essien
Mark Essien has hit upon a solution to our political dilemma:
The most effective way techies can change Nigeria is to make it impossible for politicians to become rich by being in government
— Mark Essien (@markessien) June 3, 2017
Once it is clear that getting into government will not make you rich, that energy will go into private businesses
— Mark Essien (@markessien) June 3, 2017
Reactions
why techies in particular? The issue has political, economic and sociological slants to it
— Optimist Prime (@LajiDwayem) June 3, 2017
A camel passing through the eye of the (proverbial) needle
— Elroy (@elroychibex) June 3, 2017
Try Ordinary introduction of softwares to go paperless ( and bring more accountability) you will face the the strongest resistance
— Elroy (@elroychibex) June 3, 2017
So true…An End to End procurement and payment platform, with a income and expenditures from same platform with Auto publish report system
— Daniel Chinagozi (@Danielchinagozi) June 3, 2017
Its still above techies… Politicians either don't want an organized system / are not ready for accountability. The laws of the land 1st.
— Zee (@ZeeUnltd) June 3, 2017
Any ideas on how to go about this? Can't think of any
— Chiedu (@senatoredu) June 3, 2017
Lol. Can all the techies in Yaba fight only one of MC Oluomo's lieutenants? https://t.co/m2RtHGOGwy
— Tunde Leye (@tundeleye) June 3, 2017
5. Gana Sule
And this is how corruption began in Nigeria?
Beat a Nigerian child Console him with biscuit, Ask him ..who beat u? he will point anoda person…Thats ws hw corruption started in nigeria
— Gana Sule (@slexg) June 3, 2017
6. Nneka
Moving on from politics, Nneka’s PSA:
I just got a DM saying I'd make the perfect wife cos I'll make my own stuff instead of waste money. NIGGA! Don't nobody waste money like me!
— Nneka O. ?? (@Playm8z) June 3, 2017
— Nneka O. ?? (@Playm8z) June 3, 2017
I only make my own wigs cos I like to be able to tweak it whenever without stepping out. If that's where you're mind is, wake up!
— Nneka O. ?? (@Playm8z) June 3, 2017
I'm materialistic and love money, I just also happen to love cooking and making wigs. Not mutually exclusive. Don't play yourself.
Bless!
— Nneka O. ?? (@Playm8z) June 3, 2017
7. Aderonke remembers the victims of the Dana Air crash
We remember the Dana crash victims today and always. May God grant them eternal rest and their families strength. Its been 5 years. Mehn
— A. A (@ronkizzle93) June 3, 2017
8. Pa Ikhide
Another kidnap? *Sigh*
Help! The writer Chibuihe Obi is missing, kidnapped perhaps because of beautiful essays like this on @brittlepaper. https://t.co/YKjxfxQanI pic.twitter.com/WHeY9n0hcC
— Pa Ikhide (@ikhide) June 3, 2017
9. Dominic Henry
When people go mad, this happens:
This is so scary and should not be taken lightly! The police needs to find him before it's too late! pic.twitter.com/QY6HTTWX5m
— Abisola B. PhD (@Dr_AbisolaB) June 3, 2017
Reformed social media monitoring spirit
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