Every day, there are people who keep our eyes glued to our phone screens as we read their rants, opinions, perspectives on political and social matters, etc. Sometimes, they are even just downright ridiculous. We make it our job to take down the names of these noisemakers.
Here’s our list from today:
1 Omojuwa
Since Japheth Omojuwa, entrepreneur and social media influencer received a mini tutorial about the role of the judiciary as an impartial arbiter and not an institution that helps the EFCC fight corruption, he’s come back with an analysis.
First of all, here’s the tweet he is responding to:
Courts don't fight corruption. They pass judgement based on provenance of facts and what the law says https://t.co/WEIB4FD8C6
— Tunde Leye (@tundeleye) April 13, 2017
Here’s Omojuwa’s retort:
People who insist on being blind to corruption in the Judiciary don't have the ability to see it.
— JJ. Omojuwa (@Omojuwa) April 14, 2017
Nigerian Lawyer: Courts pass judgement based on provenance of facts and what the law says.
— JJ. Omojuwa (@Omojuwa) April 14, 2017
Provenance: (noun) : the origin or source of something.
— JJ. Omojuwa (@Omojuwa) April 14, 2017
LOL. Basically, talking gibberish. But people clapped because "provenance" sounded nice to them. Grandiloquence with zero substance.
— JJ. Omojuwa (@Omojuwa) April 14, 2017
And the responses roll in:
LRTs: Your overlord is grossly and proudly ignorant ???
— HRH Adabekee? (@cremechic11) April 14, 2017
The funny thing is that this information is on Wikipedia. But Henry said no one should @ him… Anyway.
— Ikenna-先生 (@FailedRift) April 14, 2017
Of course, after achieving his devious objective of disinformation, he wouldn't welcome any mentions calling him out.
— Charles the 1st (@9jaBloke) April 14, 2017
Lmao. He didn't even understand, after consulting a dictionary, the statement "provenance of facts".
— Ikenna-先生 (@FailedRift) April 14, 2017
The thing took them a whole day to research and try to find comeback angle pic.twitter.com/pfll8iWXza
— Tunde Leye (@tundeleye) April 14, 2017
And he still didn't get it. Lol
— Ikenna-先生 (@FailedRift) April 14, 2017
Yea, well, legalese can trip one up like that.
What the Judges have to say about EFCC:
The little seemingly inconsequential details that cascade into the humongous incompetence that is the EFCC. pic.twitter.com/MgJKyN6TjY
— Charles the 1st (@9jaBloke) April 14, 2017
Yet, the Judiciary is the problem. pic.twitter.com/UfKa0JXkkB
— Charles the 1st (@9jaBloke) April 14, 2017
Comedy relief:
Parentless pic.twitter.com/pnA6EddhYC
— Mike Asukwo (@Asukwoeb) April 14, 2017
Couldn't resist. ? pic.twitter.com/JVxpjmGEly
— Amara Nwankpa (@Nwankpa_A) April 14, 2017
Chai.
[Here’s how it all started]: “Omojuwa gets a lesson in legal matters”
2. Sheddi Omar
How about this?
In 2017. Efcc is going for a raid, no fingerprint scanners, agents with no hand gloves, over populated crime scene… No corpus delicti
— SHEDDI (@consulate_p) April 13, 2017
3. Mo Abudu
So there’s been some back and forth as to who exactly owns the $50M found in an Ikoyi apartment. Amaechi, Andrew Mu’Azu, Senator Adeola, and even the CEO of Ebony Life TV has been named. Everyone has denied any connection to the cash, including Mo. This is her press release below:
Ah. Ah. Ah… pic.twitter.com/VOe2tqaMUV
— Ikenna-先生 (@FailedRift) April 14, 2017
Was this a good move? Nigerians weigh in:
Most people don't want facts,they just want you to talk asap..She already pointed out that the person is a liar,it'll do for now
— Y.O. (@yojora) April 14, 2017
4. Kate Henshaw
All dis conspiracy theories concerning d loot found in Ikoyi…if na Ajegunle, d owner of d property plus his ancestors would be found! ?
— Kate Henshaw (@HenshawKate) April 14, 2017
Now we know who owns the flat downstairs and the flat upstairs and the penthouse and the flat next door. But as for flat 7b itself…
— tyro (@DoubleEph) April 14, 2017
Yea…
5. Sahara Reporters
The news medium seems to have finally settled on the rightful owner of the $50M ash found in said Ikoyi apartment.
FLASH: @officialEFCC has not responded to insinuations that NIA claimed ownership of the funds claiming it was being used for covert ops/3
— Sahara Reporters (@SaharaReporters) April 14, 2017
FLASH: NIA ownership of money retrieved from an Apt in Ikoyi. SR called DG NIA last night he said he was not aware of any reports about it/1
— Sahara Reporters (@SaharaReporters) April 14, 2017
FLASH: DG NIA Ambassador Ayodele Oke last night said will respond to our inquiries today but he is no longer picking our calls/2
— Sahara Reporters (@SaharaReporters) April 14, 2017
FLASH: DG NIA said he could not deny or confirm a report he had not read, when pressed he said it was to late claiming he has a "headache"/4
— Sahara Reporters (@SaharaReporters) April 14, 2017
FLASH: @NGRPresident has directed that $50m seized by @officialEFCC from a Lagos Apt be returned to the @cenbank after NIA claimed the funds
— Sahara Reporters (@SaharaReporters) April 14, 2017
FLASH: NIA DG reportedly briefed @NGRPresident Buhari that the money was allocated to it for a "covert operation" which has already begun
— Sahara Reporters (@SaharaReporters) April 14, 2017
FLASH: NIA claimed the "covert operation" has been bungled by the @officiaefcc seizure of the funds which predates President Buhari's gov't
— Sahara Reporters (@SaharaReporters) April 14, 2017
FLASH: NIA DG reportedly told Buhari that the money was approved for their use before the present gov't came to office, but NSA was briefed
— Sahara Reporters (@SaharaReporters) April 14, 2017
True or false?
6. Oddy
Oddy could not help but gloat:
I remember admonishing a lot of u to be calm and ask questions before brainlessly crying over 'Recovered looted funds'. You called me names
— Baṣọ̀run Gáà (@Oddy4real) April 14, 2017
Amin.
********************Commercial Break************************
When Judas Iscariot finally gets to hear how much whistle blowers are currently being paid pic.twitter.com/tu87j9N0tU
— FAVOUR ONYEOZIRI (GCFR) (@Rouvafe) April 13, 2017
Dear Ogas and Oga Madams. Win-Win if you Whistleblow on yourself. You keep a small part of it, Govt gets the rest, and no one goes to court.
— tolu ogunlesi (@toluogunlesi) April 13, 2017
Case closed!? follow d advise, Lobatan?! Pls epp Nigeria to epp yourselves?? https://t.co/kZVfeXIysK
— PMerida? (@thetemih25) April 13, 2017
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7. Edward
*Sigh*
Lagos at 50 and Ambode:
All the irony in this picture… pic.twitter.com/PXzrZf0urb
— Edward Israel-Ayide (@wildeyeq) April 14, 2017
Bonus:
These two got into it:
[Did you miss?]: “Nigeria’s youth are suffering severe hypnosis”
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