Every day on the Nigerian internet, there are people who keep our eyes glued to our phone screens as we read their rants, opinions, perspectives on political and social matters, etc. Sometimes, they are just downright ridiculous. We make it our job to take down the names of these noisemakers.

Here’s our list from today:

 

1 Mikel Jollet

As America prepares for the onslaught of another hurricane -Hurricane Irma- shortly after Hurricane Harvey made mincemeat of Texas, Mikel would like us all to consider the inevitable:

2 David Axelrod

David thinks it’s time these hurricanes got new names:

Shouldn't we start naming these repeated Storms-of-the-Century after key climate change deniers?
Hurricane Donald.
Hurricane Scott…

— David Axelrod (@davidaxelrod) September 6, 2017

3. Aniefiok Udoabasi

On this side of the pond, the conversation …around the Ooni of Ife who recently put away his wife Olori Wuraola. Aniefiok contemplates the role of the gods in the matter.

 

4. Shehu Sani

The good Senator has lent his support to the masses who disputed Dr Yemi Kale’s numbers and assertion that the recession is over when everyone’s still feeling the impact of the two year economic storm.

The best people to confirm whether actually we are out of recession are the people bearing the effects of it in their daily lives.

— Senator Shehu Sani (@ShehuSani) September 6, 2017

5. Tunji Andrews

Yesterday, the National Bureau of Statistics released numbers to prove that Nigeria’s gotten out of the recession. Tunji Andrews also went on record saying that it is not yet Uhuru. Most Nigerians, on the other hand, refused to believe the NBS report because their pockets are telling a whole different story.

Well, Tunji Andrews has decided to do something about it- our pockets, we mean.

See below:

https://www.instagram.com/p/BYs2mliDtGc21kXflW1jhdbue1oPbQ5RpVP4EA0/

 

6. Buhari

President Buhari has finally returned from Daura, where he spent the Sallah Holidays. TwitterNG timekeepers are not finding his attitude to work funny. But instead of anger, they chose sarcasm.

See below:

President @MBuhari and Wife, @aishambuhari are back in Abuja, after the Eid El Kabir celebrations. pic.twitter.com/dVqxIhYgQI

— Presidency Nigeria (@NGRPresident) September 6, 2017

Reactions:

Leave for holidays early, return back to "work" late…

Extremely bad work ethics https://t.co/tEzqNfdiC2

— afrispheric (@afrispheric) September 6, 2017

At least under GEJ we were debating fuel subsidy, privatisation etc Under Buhari, the simple act of holding an FEC meeting is rocket science

— Gege (@nigeriasbest) September 6, 2017

https://twitter.com/AdakuUme/status/905432075918028800

When will @MBuhari will sit down and do the work, he was voted into office to do? A whole week off? @cnni @BBCWorld

— Damian E (@stevedameze) September 6, 2017

something has happened in the other room…lol

— Adedayo Alade (@D1flavour) September 6, 2017

7. Chidi Odikalu

Till Buhari’s administration comes to an end (and maybe even afterwards), GEJ and Buhari will constantly be pitted against each other. Oftentimes, it’s the Buhari administration that goes looking for trouble with its extended blame game.

Exhibit:

https://twitter.com/hassangboy/status/905380486708686848

You APC demons are the type that will be knacking Babe for 2yrs (without condom) and still blame her pregnancy on her previous boyfriend ??? https://t.co/FYorVhxwaD

— Mr Stanley Nwabia (@MrStanleyNwabia) September 6, 2017

So it’s fair, isn’t it, if the comparisons between the two Presidents are taken further.

I'm just imagining wht wld've happened if govt under #UMYA or #GEJ announced they forgot to prepare for Cabinet b4 heading off for Ileya…?

— Chidi Odinkalu (@ChidiOdinkalu) September 6, 2017

The standards we held GEJ to are much higher than those we are holding PMB to. Sad stuff.

Good morning sha

— 'Deji Asiru-Balogun (@WilDeji) September 6, 2017

 

8. Stanley Nwabia for Mama Taraba

Buhari’s Minister for women affairs Aisha Jummai Al-Hassan aka Mama Taraba has openly endorsed Atiku for 2019 presidency. Speaks to her confidence in Buhari, TwitterNg is saying.

BREAKING | 2019: President @MBuhari's Minister for Women Affairs, Senator Alhassan endorses @Atiku for President cc @Amaka_Ekwo @GarShehu pic.twitter.com/GUqyOx4tGD

— SIGNAL (@thesignalng) September 6, 2017

See below:

My attention has been drawn to the fact that Buhari's Minister has lost hope in the govt

She is already campaigning for Atiku for 2019?

— Ebube D Statesman (@akaebube) September 6, 2017

Aisha Buhari that was 1st to withdraw her 2019 support for Buhari Live on BBC dey kampe, it is Mama Taraba famzing Atiku that is worrying U.

— Mr Stanley Nwabia (@MrStanleyNwabia) September 6, 2017

Seems it is only the women around Buhari that have real balls. All the Men are Pussys…ALL of them https://t.co/c4IiTYQhGl

— Mr Stanley Nwabia (@MrStanleyNwabia) September 6, 2017

Dora Akunyili fearlessly faced Yaradua's Cabal, Mama Taraba has done something 'a bit' similar to Buhari. Nigerian Women rock. https://t.co/c4IiTYQhGl

— Mr Stanley Nwabia (@MrStanleyNwabia) September 6, 2017

@MrStanleyNwabia @segalink something is going on somewhere in Nigeria, keep all eyes opened. https://t.co/A2XRVLH3wd

— Akinlolu Israel (@israel2united) September 6, 2017

Aisa Buhari gave a condition "if we don't deliver I won't support your reelection" cold but understandable. Madam Taraba betrayed her boss https://t.co/rJt4FdmoeI

— Wale Gates ???? (@walegates) September 6, 2017

Northerners r saying Mama Taraba should resign for endorsing Atiku '19. U ppl that were saying sth about sharing Northern votes how far? ?

— AlphaFemale (@alpha_orikaeze1) September 6, 2017

If Mama Taraba had endorsed El Rufai or any other Northern hegemony champion, the story would have been different

They prefer extremists https://t.co/o2AuZPHnTU

— IKECHUKWU (@iykimo) September 6, 2017

Mama Taraba supports Atiku; both of them are APC yet some APC folks are boiling here, sorry how can we help u ? Why are u people in sorrow?

— Oluyemi Fasipe ?? (@YemieFASH) September 6, 2017

What is all this noise about Madam Taraba? Even PMB's wife already gave BBC interview that she won't vote for him IF changes were not made. https://t.co/55dRFMx9um

— Juliet 'Kego (@julietkego) September 6, 2017

Madam Aisha Buhari said she will not vote for PMB in 2019 if no changes are made; mama Taraba took it a notch and chose her candidate. Abi??

— Juliet 'Kego (@julietkego) September 6, 2017

Dearly beloved,
Let us go back to creating awareness about Benue, ASUU, LAUTECH…and so many other issues. Leave political "families" alone

— Juliet 'Kego (@julietkego) September 6, 2017

My last tweet on the matter, let me focus on other issues cos tomorrow mama Taraba's son will marry PMB's daughter; Atiku=Father of the day?

— Juliet 'Kego (@julietkego) September 6, 2017

9. Hakeem

We say this often enough: TwitterNG is full of individuals who spout arrant nonsense per time. Take a look:

All the 37 contestants participating in the 2017 MBGN are Igbos. Yes, ALL the girls. If they were all Hausas/Yorubas, we will not hear word

— #PrayForNigeria ??? (@Bhadoosky) September 6, 2017

Reactions

Hausas don't participate in the show. I don't understand what his point is. Secondly, selection is base on merit not quota system.

— Ataga (@ExplorerAtaga) September 6, 2017

Hausas don't participate in the show. I don't understand what his point is. Secondly, selection is base on merit not quota system.

— Ataga (@ExplorerAtaga) September 6, 2017

The man is just saying Nonsense…

— Yung T'Challa (@HarrisonYung) September 6, 2017

First you need to be able to differentiate Btwn south south & south east. Cos I dnt knw why u ll call someone from warri or Benin igbo ?

— 64 (@bobskino) September 6, 2017

Marginalization in MBGN? Just like calling for entries for essay competition and only Igbos are interested you cry marginalisation. ???

— Citiman (@Kenetchy_) September 6, 2017

Some tweets here, would leave you weak to the stomach.
I wonder the criteria twitter use in verifying accounts.
Iberibe na elu kasi elu.

— BONARIO NNAGS (@bonario89) September 6, 2017

This rant contains factually inaccurate information and is based on nothing but a glance at contestant pictures. https://t.co/v2LhUx7e4W

— Amara Nwankpa (@Nwankpa_A) September 6, 2017

SE/SS tend to dominate Nigerian Beauty paegents organised by PRIVATE organizations, what's ur point? Introduce Federal Character to Beauty? https://t.co/EprRuEoIg6

— Mr Stanley Nwabia (@MrStanleyNwabia) September 6, 2017

Don't mind him. Next they'll advocate for Fed character in our football.

— ibo??boi™ (@val_x2010) September 6, 2017

Funny enough Govt has tried to introduce federal character to our Football on many occasions, that's when our National Teams fumble most. https://t.co/qB0bsqkMyN

— Mr Stanley Nwabia (@MrStanleyNwabia) September 6, 2017

10. MI Abaga

After successfully trending on Twitter today over his outbursts on Loose Talk Podcast, produced by Pulse Nigeria, MI is now in the UK to attend to academics.

WATCH:

Said business school Oxford… Let the learning begin pic.twitter.com/mMbJtfKPm2

— Yung denzL (@MI_Abaga) September 6, 2017

Honored to be part of this prestigious fellowship.. #TutuFellowship #SolvingAfricasProblems pic.twitter.com/GaPkzEtXS6

— Yung denzL (@MI_Abaga) September 6, 2017

[In case you missed it]: “TwitterNG says MI is wrong”

But their respect for the rapper grew:

MI, Osagz, AOT2, Loose Kaynon #Respect ??????????

— ITS DONJAZZY AGAIN? (@DONJAZZY) September 6, 2017

And I respect all of them, MI, Osagz, Aot2 and Loose Kaynon . ????????

— Kemi SmallzZ (@kemismallzz) September 6, 2017