Velma Williams: Our first wedding anniversary (30 Days, 30 Voices)

by Velma Williams

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” Yelling at your partner is a ‘No No’ and isn’t of any help at the end of the day.”

On the day of our first wedding anniversary, it seemed like we had just gotten married the day before. I was so thankful to God for seeing us through an amazing year, and keeping us alive to celebrate our anniversary. I was also thankful for the amazing bond we shared, and by the special grace of God, this bond will remain until we grow old and grey (Amen). To mark our first anniversary, I will share some simple notes on a successful marriage:

1) Do not get married for the wrong reasons. For example, due to pressure from family, society and the fear of being alone. This is not the foundation you want your marriage to be built upon; if you get married for the wrong reasons, you are more likely to end up with somebody you should have no business with, or find yourself in a marriage that will be shorter than the amount of months you spent preparing for the wedding.

2) Communication is key. I know it sounds cliché , but it works perfectly. When the communication in your relationship is solid, a lot of problems can be avoided.

3) Show love in your actions. Never feel because you are married, there is no need to impress or surprise your partner. Instead, this is the time you express your feelings more. It will let your partner know how much you value and cherish them. It will keep the spark in your marriage, and you will find out the little times you show it, goes a long way in preserving your marriage.

4) The right tone is a very necessary pattern to get in line with. Yelling at your partner is a ‘No No’ and isn’t of any help at the end of the day. It just makes the person yelling look crazy. We, women are likely to fall in that line, but if you change your tone, you find out he listens more than when your yelling. For instance, my husband and I have had very respectable fights since the day we met. Regardless of what message I want to get across to him or he wants to say to me, we have a simple tone and we both feel that respect for one another, it’s a great gift we are very much grateful for.

5) Both parties holding on to the Word is a beautiful foundation for your marriage. I do not need to say much because with God all things are possible. *snaps fingers*

These words are from personal experience and from other older couples in our circle.


Velma Williams loves fashion. She believes that style has no shape or size but depends on creativity.

30 Days 30 Voices series is an opportunity for young Nigerians from across the world to share their stories and experiences – creating a meeting point where our common humanity is explored.

Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija



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