Wale Adetula: Set fire to the rain

 …if you’re so convinced he has feelings for you but can’t figure out why he can’t seem to commit, let him go…

I’m a little bit pi***d right now so y’all have to bear with me. Before I begin, let me just state that I’m shoving the bro-code to the curb today. Why? Cause I have a sister. I have female cousins and friends. I hope to have nieces and maybe a daughter some day and I hope this piece right here will help them in one way or the other.

Forget religion and all, if you take one good look at yourself from head to toe with all the intricate features you were made with (no matter how beautiful/not-so-beautiful you are) and you still don’t feel enough self-pride to walk away from a situation with a he/she with whom you clearly see no future then maybe I need to call the MFM folks to organize deliverance sessions here. Heck…now that I’m even thinking about it, some of us brothers could find this info useful because we all seem to have lost our g**dem minds but sad thing is that most guys won’t admit to being in such situations so I’ll just keep it to the ladies.

The feeling varies from pity to sadness to anger, depending on how close I am to the victim (yes, victim) when I’m told just how ‘difficult’ or ‘impossible’ it is to walk away from “him” because… heck, most of the time, they can’t even come up with a good enough reason why they don’t seem to be able to leave! Despite the fact that they know he’s screwing some other chick/he’s head over heels for some other chick (who probably doesn’t like him half as much) / or like the movie, HE’S JUST NOT THAT INTO THEM.

Well, since y’all won’t face facts and tell yourselves the truth, I’ve made it my duty to do so today. Here are some reasons why you need to set fire to the rain:

We are all SELFISH

Don’t even give me that bull-crap about how much you’ll hurt him if you walk away. This is about YOU. Yes, YOU. Not him. You’re not getting younger. Tick Tock. 23. You stick with his trifling behind. He doesn’t commit. 24. He gets into a relationship with your mutual friend, you still hang on in the name of whatever. 25. He’s single again, you think there’s hope… Smell the freaking coffee and do yourself a favour.

No woman was created for just one man

If you belong to the school of thought that disagrees with this then “wait behind for instructions” after reading this post. I think one of my favourite stats to quote is the world gender ratio. Unofficial stats tell us there are almost 7 women to 1 man now, so please shove it. Don’t also go on about how there’s too much competition out there and how you’ll probably never find another. Question is, is he even yours?

The world still believes in fairy tales

Since this is Nigeria, I might as well add this fairytale-ish point. Someone once said, if you want to know if something is yours, let it go and if it was really meant to be yours it’ll come back to you. (like I said, fairytale-ish) but yeah, if you’re so convinced he has feelings for you but can’t figure out why he can’t seem to commit, let him go (not partially, I mean delete EVERYTHING) and see what happens.

No one has ever died from emotional pain

If your excuse is not being able to handle the emotional trauma that will follow, then let me help you by stating (and yes, I did research this), that no one has ever been recorded to have died ‘directly’ as a result of emotional hurt. You might cry, even have some sleepless nights but you won’t die.

He won’t do it

If you’re still not convinced or your excuse is that you’re waiting for him to let you go then you need to know this: HE WON’T. Why? It’s sorta like what I tried to explain here. Greed is a basic human instinct (Ask Adam). He has you at his beck and call. He can have others and still come back to you so why on earth will he want to let you go?

If you’re a guy and you can relate to this, or you’re a chic and this post hit very close home, help me think up more points or share your experience by using the comment box. Speak your mind. Cheers.

– @Thetoolsman (Read my other posts at http://www.thenakedconvos.com)



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Comments (2)

  1. I'm currently in a similar situation. We have been together for a year now. About 4months into the relationship, he went back to his ex. He never called nor returned my calls. We got back together again. He tells me I'm the best thing that happened to him. Truth be told,I love him so much and was hoping this relationship would be the "last b/stop". When he lets his guards down,he could be totally loving.

    Since we started this relationship, we never went out together, we don't have a picture of us. He met two of my friends by chance. He once told me I shouldn't come to his place without telling him.

    He cancels our dates without prior notice and won't even apologise until I ask. And he plans to spend the rest of his life with me. How does this work? Before now, I always call his attention to things I'm not pleased with, but this days I don't care anymore. I feel indifferent when he does his things. Right now I'm single in all ways. I hang out with my male friends, go to the movies, do things that make me happy.

    Truth is, I'm picking up my life,he doesn't know I found out he was with his ex and I never said a word abt it.

    I'm a pretty chic, intelligent, I have a good job and a great personality. If one man can't appreciate what he has/had, better men would.

    Toolsman, thanks for this article.

  2. *sigh* u have spoken so well. I am a lady 28 year old and still in a relationship that I am not really sure where it is leading to. To cut the long story short. What kind of committment should I expect from a 32 year old man whom I have been dating for a year. Please tell me.

cool good eh love2 cute confused notgood numb disgusting fail