10 rules that should be thrown out of a ‘modern’ marriage

from Healthy Black Woman

black-marriage

Divorce simply means that your relationship just didn’t work. Some couples have serious problems that can’t be solved by therapy or talking about it.

Marriage is different than it used to be. Old rules no longer apply. Here are ten outdated marriage rules.

1. Once you are married you no longer have a life: This is not true. You can love and care for your husband and family but you don’t have to always be the dutiful wife tending to his every whim. You will resent the marriage if you stay this way. Take time for yourself.

2. Pouting gets your point across. Again, not true: Couples should get their point across to each other by expressing their true feelings, not pouting in a corner.

3. Sexual desires should not be discussed: Yes, the discussion may be awkward, but you don’t want to fall into a rut in the bedroom. Make sure that you are expressing what you want.

4. Seeing a marriage therapist can mean failure: Wrong. Seeing a counselor means that you are taking action. The sooner you start the therapy, the sooner you can be on the right track.

5. Husbands should make the money: More and more women are ditching the role of stay-at-home wife and going out to make money, sometimes more than their spouses.

6. Fighting means you are unhappy: Every couple needs to fight. If there is no fighting, something could be wrong. The key is learning how to “fight fair” and learning conflict resolution skills.

7. Marriage should revolve around the kids: Of course children need to be well taken care of but marriage should revolve around the couple. Take time for yourselves away from the kids once in a while to keep the romance alive.

8. Don’t talk about your profession with your spouse: Talking about your job with your significant other is a great way for you to get the stress of the day out. If you don’t, things could transfer down to your relationship.

9. Marriage is between two people: More and more couples are beginning to develop friendships with their exes and even new children of their ex. Be sure not to badmouth your ex in front of their children.

10. Divorce means that you are a failure: Hardly. Divorce simply means that your relationship just didn’t work. Some couples have serious problems that can’t be solved by therapy or talking about it.

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Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.

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