by Zara Mustapha

A woman hanged herself after her lesbian ex-lover began a romantic relationship with her best friend, she left a suicide note saying she wished she could ‘sleep for ever’.

27-year-old Melanie Brown, a charity worker felt she ‘would be better off dead’ after series of failed relationships and also saw the relationship between her ex-lover and her best friend as a betrayal.

Miss Brown who had a history of depression, had a six-month relationship with her boss 53-year-old Kim Hamilton a chief executive of the Blue Cross animal charity. A doctor told the inquest that she would carry a rope around which evidently showed that she had suicidal tendencies.

Daily Mail reports:

The inquest heard that Miss Brown ended the romance thinking it was for her boss’s benefit, only to see Miss Hamilton – who has since left Blue Cross – switch her allegiance to one of her best friends.

Bisexual Miss Brown, an admin assistant, then started dating Mike Crossley, 52, the head of fund-raising for the charity, based in Burford, Oxfordshire. But he was then dismissed from his £80,000-a-year job.

There were reports that Miss Hamilton, a former City trader, had sacked him with a gagging clause and a £60,000 pay-off.

Eight months later, in August last year, Miss Brown hanged herself in the bathroom of her shared flat in Cirencester, Gloucestershire.

In notes found on her computer said she would be better off dead so she could no longer ‘hurt anyone’.

The inquest heard that her laptop had been accessed nine days after her death and the internet history deleted, but a computer analyst was unable to say if files and emails had also been removed.

 

 

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The inquest heard how bisexual Miss Brown had a six-month relationship with Kim Hamilton, left, before ending it for her boss’s benefit. She then had relations with Mike Crossley, right

Gloucester coroner David Dooley, who recorded a verdict of suicide, said: ‘A lengthy note was found on her laptop where she spoke about her mental health and her frustration things were not going anywhere.

‘She said she was still in the same job and spoke about colleagues. She says she “still wakes up wishing I was dead”. She speaks of a relationship of six months or more with another lady but she felt she was hurting the other lady and terminated the relationship.

‘The other lady then set up with Melanie’s best friend which caused her more consternation even though it had been Melanie who had terminated the relationship earlier.

‘She then refers to another relationship where it appears to be with a man. She finishes with, “I wish I could sleep for ever because that is the only time I can forget. Forget about my life, forget about crying and forget about how fat I am and forget about killing myself”.’

 

 

The charity’s CEO Miss Hamilton then allegedly fired Mr Crossley after learning about his relationship with Miss Brown. The admin assistant, 27, had a history of depression and was seeing a psychiatrist, the inquest was told

In one, undated, note she wrote: ‘I hurt everyone I get close to … I’m wondering if it may be better if I’m somewhere where I can’t hurt anyone any more.’

Another, dated July 8, 2013, and believed to be the last note before her death on August 5, said: ‘Today I thought about hanging myself, just a few passing thoughts, nothing like I used to but it seems to me that I get that feeling again when I take too much emotion, like the thought of hurting someone would be too much so it is better if I stopped it.’

The inquest heard that in 2012 Miss Brown had struggled with the breakdown of an earlier same-sex relationship lasting seven-and-a-half years.

She was diagnosed with a mixed personality disorder and attended regular check-ups and appointments. Doctors noted that she experienced ‘increased intensity of suicidal thoughts’ and was self-harming.

Summarising her medical care, psychiatrist Dr Svetlin Vrabtchev said: ‘She would carry a rope around with her showing suicidal tendencies. An important aspect was relationships with others. She found how to manage relationships particularly difficult, especially how to manage boundaries.

 

Blue Cross is a charity which provides support for pet owners who cannot afford private veterinary treatment, helps to find homes for unwanted animals, and educates the public in the responsibilities of animal ownership

 

‘She was struggling with her identity due to early experiences which left her believing all people were dangerous and must be loved and pleased in order for her to be liked.’

Recording a verdict of suicide, the coroner said: ‘Melanie Brown was a very troubled lady at the time of her death.’ He said her relationships with her colleagues were ‘not matters to judge upon in a coroner’s court, but her feelings and state of mind afterwards is important’.

Her history of depression and suicidal tendencies would have contributed to her feelings of vulnerability brought on by her ‘loneliness and isolation’, he said.

Forensic computer analyst Stephen Lewer said the internet history had been deleted but he was unable to say if files and emails had also been removed.