Tag Archives: time

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@Inyang21: Stop deceiving yourself, success depends on you and not God!

by Samuel Ekereke

You might have heard people talk about waiting patiently for God’s time. Every religion tends to portray God’s time in a future sense. It is common to hear people say “God will do it in his time” or “I’m waiting upon God to help me”. We often neglect the possibilities of “now” and throw our hands up to the future waiting for a supernatural help and remaining in the same position.

Even amongst people of little or no spiritual attributes, there is a strong tendency towards waiting. Everyone tends to look at the future in hope. Our strong allegiance and reference to God while it is a great attribute, has blinded our eyes to possibilities that are part of everyday life.

It isn’t wrong to hope. Hope is a great attribute. It helps us feed the future with so much to do. However, our weak characteristics now allow for mediocrity. Rather than work towards achieving our goals and dreams, we leave them to hope and God’s time.

It is saddening to note that our generation is increasingly failing to act even when acting is very possible. Because we push the present to the future, the kind of change that has to happen now eludes us. We fane strong spirituality when what we are suffering from is laziness and mediocrity.

The kind of future we want is the measure of the present we act. Our faith in God is a present faith not a future one. Our tenacious believe is not a future one, It is one which has capacity for a present impact. What this means is that while we pray so hard in expectation of the better life, the better life is us acting in the present too. Every one anticipates change, most of all positive change. Your present state may not be the best state yet and you see it changing in the right time. Well, the good news is, the right time is when you choose to make of it.

“Now” has the capacity to enforce the expected. God’s time is when you are ready. It’s the time you accept to act in the direction of the change you desire. Think of a student who has the desire to turn his failure woes while sitting at the bottom of the class, to the number one student in class. That’s a whole lot of change. He can pray and hope on God but he will have to act in the direction of his goal by studying as a student who wants to be top of the class. He would have to watch what the top students are doing and do same.

Practically, our capacity to pray may give us spiritual insight and direction but it all falls on us acting in the direction of our prayers, else we may only have hope of a better future or situation but never reaching there.

You might have heard of very spiritual students who were very hopeful of attaining a goal but fell short of it because they slept after their prayers when they should have been working. It turns out that when they fail, they blame it on God. They are wrong. They were only
mediocre.

The bridge between what we want and the present time is “act now.” It will be foolhardy to think that what we want will automatically come in the right time. You can choose to wait in anticipation of the time but the time may just come and pass you by. It is when you act presently and continuously that the time arrives to bring your actions to limelight.

Many a Musical icon would tell you they had always pictured themselves as icons in their dreams. Some of them became celebrities only after years of churning out series of albums that had gone unnoticed. They were not sleeping on their musical talent. They kept at their songs till time caught up with them in the studio singing.

So now, you can hope for big things, hope for special things, hope for great things but they won’t come automatic however hard you believe in God. They will come when you act with your believe. They come when you accept that what you want can be gotten now and you act in such a manner as to get it now.

The time for change is your choice too. It’s not left to God or some spiritual force. It’s the two working at par.

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Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.
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Omena Daniels: How to know when it is time to break up!

by Omena Daniels

Signs it’s time to break up with your partner are not always hard to see. There are plenty of red flags to look out for when you’re dating someone. However, what might be obvious to outsiders might not be so obvious to you when you’re in the relationship. So, if you’re looking for some signs it’s time to break up with your significant other, you can find nine obvious signs to look out for to help you make up your mind.

1. LYING

One of the most obvious signs it’s time to break up is when your partner is lying to you. Even if he or she has excuses as to why the lie was told, lying is lying and it shouldn’t be tolerated. If your partner lies about little, insignificant things, just imagine what other things he or she could be lying about. The foundation of a good relationship is not and cannot be based off of lies.

2. NO EFFORT

Another legitimate reason to break up is if your partner is no longer putting forth any effort into your relationship. If your relationship feels one-sided and you feel as if you’re the only person caring and making any effort to keep the fire alive, it might be time to move on. All relationships can go through periods where it’s not as exciting but if romance and going on dates are like pulling teeth, you’re better off moving on.

 

No matter how long a couple has been together, keeping in regular contact is important. If you find your texts, phone calls and emails frequently unanswered or you just can’t seem to get around to answering your partner, breaking up is probably a good idea. If there’s little contact, the two of you are probably living separate lives already. The two of you will be much happier on your own.

 

3. NO POTENTIAL

Long-term relationships don’t always start out that way. Sometimes we start dating someone, get comfortable and even move in with them. The problem arises when you have a long-term relationship with someone yet you see no long-term potential. The two of you might want different things or one might want to get more serious than the other. Either way, if the two of you aren’t in agreement about the future, it might be time to move on.

how-to-break-up-with-a-woman

4. SECRETS

Secrets are sometimes kept in order to spare another person’s feelings. But in a relationship, there are few, if any, things that should be kept secret from someone whom you love. Things like a criminal history, children, marriages, bad credit and illnesses should not be kept from someone you are in a serious relationship with

5. INSULTS

Most, if not all, couples fight. It’s healthy and it’s close to impossible to agree on everything. While healthy fighting is viewed as a good thing, hurling insults at your partner and fighting dirty are not. If you’ve gotten to the point where name-calling, mean comments and yelling have become commonplace, your break up should be imminent.

6. LACK OF CONTACT

No matter how long a couple has been together, keeping in regular contact is important. If you find your texts, phone calls and emails frequently unanswered or you just can’t seem to get around to answering your partner, breaking up is probably a good idea. If there’s little contact, the two of you are probably living separate lives already. The two of you will be much happier on your own.

7. UNHEALTHY

A very good reason to break up with your partner is if the relationship is toxic. If you feel unsafe or emotionally or verbally abused, it’s time to go. There is no reason at all that you should have to feel threatened, as if your life is in danger or that you are any less than perfect just the way you are. Talk to someone you trust about the matter and don’t look back.

8. TRAPPED

It’s completely possible to be in a relationship with someone who you think is great but just isn’t great for you. All of your friends might love your partner and think you’ve found the one, but you feel trapped or even suffocated. It doesn’t matter if everyone in the whole world thinks your guy or girl is the best if you don’t feel the same way.

9. THERE’S SOMEONE ELSE

If your feelings for your significant other have changed and you’re starting to get interested in someone else, don’t string them along. Be honest about your feelings and don’t start anything new with anyone until you’ve had the talk. Your partner deserves to know the truth and to not be kept in the dark about the change in your feelings. Put yourself in their shoes, you would want to know before they began seeing someone else

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 Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.

Nigeria business

Opinion: It is time to break Nigeria up

by Damola Awoyokun

Nigeria business

 

 

We want a good-bye-to-all-that referendum now. And the National Conference sitting in Abuja should make itself useful by setting a date for one.  Enough is enough.

Sardauna of Sokoto and Obafemi Awolowo used to be good friends. They visited each other a lot and Sardauna was very keen to implement Awolowo’s policies only if he told him before hand. Once NPC won the December 1951 Northern regional elections, it was AG which had won the Western region’s elections  two months earlier that it congratulated and extended alliance to at the Central House slated to open in February 1952.  The North was never interested in partnering with Zik, NCNC, or the Igbos.

While Zik and the Eastern region were embroiled over the Prof Eyo Ita and the six sit-tight ministers, Awolowo and Sardauna continued to strengthen their alliance. The first branch of AG outside the Western region was formed in Kano on 4th October 1952. Awolowo assured the jittery Northern rulers that the move was not a threat and he went on to deliver several lectures on government by federation in which he did not criticise Northern leadership at all. Arriving in Kaduna, together with Alhaji Gbadamosi and Alfred Rewane, he went to see his new friend, the Sardauna.

When Wazirin Bornu, Mallam Ibrahim Imam who was both General Secretary of NPC and the member from Bornu province introduced a Decency Bill which would make wearing clothes compulsory in the North, the colonial civil secretary who was also the president (speaker) of the Northern House shut it down. On hearing this, Awolowo at the next sitting of the Central House in Lagos raise it as a motion of national importance. The Daily Times of 23rd March 1953 reported Awolowo saying on the floor of the House: “The British ought to be ashamed of themselves because people still go naked after sixty years of their rule.” Since then he made sure he asked for trainloads of clothes in the South to distribute anytime he was going up North.

When the embattled leader of Eastern House, Prof Ita whom Zik wanted out at all cost arrived in Lagos for the opening of the Central House in 1953, he went to seek help from Awolowo who then took him to see Sardauna.   They jointly condemned Zik’s role in the crisis. Immediately Ozumba Mbadiwe, NCNC’s House leader rose to defend Zik and his party on the floor of the House, most members of the AG and NPC walked out in unison.    The North and West partnership was indeed strong.

Then came the blow.

During Awolowo’s October 1952 trip to the North, Sardauna told Awolowo that he was a man of enormous power and prestige in the eyes of his people because of his illustrious ancestry. There were a lot of things which the West was doing that were worthy of emulation. But these things were brought to his notice via newspaper reports.  His people seized on the news and demanded the same things. Daily Times of 7th April 1953 reported Sardauna saying on page 7: “They become unduly embarrassed because they were forced into the position of copyists or imitators.”  That a man of his stature appeared to be a copycat in the eyes of his followers was disrespectful and demeaning.

To buttress his point, Sardauna mentioned the West’s scholarship scheme which when the news came some Northerners agitated for the same scheme too. Sardauna stated further: whereas if Awolowo had taken him into confidence he would adopt them and initiate them simultaneously with the West. And if it was a policy they do not want at all, they would still support them for the West alone should the approval of the Central Government be needed.  Awolowo sat stone-faced wondering whether he was listening to intellectual theft or basics of collective nation building. Sardauna then concluded that both should set up a machinery were there would be regular consultation.

At the previous sitting in Lagos, Sardauna announced to the country that: “the North is like a horse, if you are gentle with it, it will carry you far.” But Awolowo was not interested in partnership nor riding; human dignity counts more than anything to him.   In responding to Sardauna’s proposal, Awolowo said for any collaboration to be “permanent and effective,” there must be identity of outlook on some fundamental principles and objectives. “The British rule in Nigeria, like any foreign rule, was unnatural, unjust and inherently incompetent. It should therefore be terminated not later than 1956.

Sardauna began to make several excuses about the unreadiness of the North to cope with the challenges of doing it alone. Awolowo replied: “the North should not underrate their own ability.” When it was proposed at the Constitutional Review Conference in Ibadan that Nigerians not the British should be central ministers, the North opposed it on the ground that Nigerians are not yet competent. But now there were four ministers of Northern origin doing an excellent job at the central level, Awolowo told him.

Sardauna’s reply was iconic. He said the reason for such an earlier position was because when they went for executive council meetings in Kaduna, they do not “thoroughly discuss the subjects on the agenda and take a concerted line of action,” whereas the white officials always did which made it appear they were superior to them. And when he visited Awolowo in Ibadan, he observed that they too thoroughly exhaust the agenda before going to meet with the colonial executives and that did not make them look foolish at the meetings.  That night, Sardauna gave Awolowo two unnamed “valuable” presents as tokens of “the dependability of his words and bond of his friendship.”

And so after the joint walkout over Zik’s treatment of Eyo, Awolowo decided to take his friend into confidence. He told him in the visiting ministers’ room of the Central House, that the AG had tabled a private bill for self-government to be debated before the business seating closed.  Sardauna left to hold consultations with the emirs and other members of the Northern delegation came back and rejected the idea.  He even asked for the bill’s withdrawal. Awolowo said never, ever. “To withdraw the motion would be a political suicide for the Action Group. It would be a strong weapon in the hands of the NCNC to discredit us by showing us up to the politically conscious element in the South that we are imperialist stooges.” Furthermore, said Awolowo: “the white officials would never take us seriously again.”

The motion was introduced by Enahoro, 4 AG central ministers resigned their posts in order to debate it. The House erupted in pandemonium. “The mistake of 1914 has come to light” Sardauna said resignedly. The Northern legislators where humiliated, their turban stripped off outside the House and at every stop till they reached home, their train was mobbed with sticks and stones. The North became radicalised and demanded secession from Nigeria or a very, very loose association with the South. Zik who was at the gallery on that fateful/historic day, set aside his differences and went straight  down to hug Awolowo.  The cameras had a field day. They started an East-West pact that had never happened before even though they were both Southerners. It lasted only 7 months. NCNC then went to form an alliance with the North.

Why were the Southern regions eagerly seeking an alliance with the North? Because at the Ibadan Constitutional Conference, the North argued that given their size and population, they were entitled to half of the seats in the upcoming Central House. They were right.  The North was three times the size of the Western and Eastern regions put together. As regards population, they were more numerous too. Bola Ige once disputed this claiming throughout West Africa population decreases as you go upwards toward the desert. But unlike all other countries, as you go upwards Nigeria increases more sideways that upwards. Also the annual tax receipts per head from the North were far more than South’s. The North therefore held the majority vote in the House. And so however brilliant or beneficial your policies were, to have them authorised by the Central Government, you needed the votes of those the South were still sending clothes to cover their nakedness. Even today, Southern senators sit shamelessly in the same chamber with incorrigible paedophile and child rapist discussing ’progress’ for the nation.

The amalgamation of 1914 was not the mistake. The mistake was in Lugard allowing the North to keep their traditions and ways of life. Education and civilisation came to the South due to the uncompromising efforts of the Crowther and the other Christian missionaries backed by the British government. Whereas after the conquest of the North through the 1903 Sokoto and Kano wars, the emirs came to Lugard and said we will give you no more trouble in so far as you prevent those missionaries already gaining grounds in Bida and Lokoja and beyond from corrupting our ways of life.

In return we will give you an unflinching loyalty. This suited Lugard just fine as he confirmed on 22nd March 1903 during his installation of Muhammadu Attairu II as the new Sultan of Sokoto. The colonial regime never spent much in collecting taxes in the North anymore. The emirate did. Using native enforcement schemes, they dutifully brought the collected taxes to the colonial treasury every month in huge numbers.

In the East for instance, up to the 1951 -1953 census, the women resisted being counted because they saw it as a step towards making them pay taxes like their men.  Moreover, in Lagos, Herbert Macaulay was campaigning furiously for the government to increase Eshugbayi Eleko’s £300 per annum “compassionate allowance” when the 6th August 1862 Treaty of Secession put his salary at a percentage of the total exports from Lagos.  That would have been £5million out of £16 million export revenues from Lagos then. Yet the Sultan of Sokoto was paid a total of £9000 annually from the colonial coffers even higher than £8000 being paid to the Sir Hugh Clifford, the colonial governor of Southern Nigeria.  The respect for a people starts from the respect showed their rulers.

At the start of the 1st World War, the Ottoman Empire called for all Muslims to wage jihad against Britain. Lugard jittered and started contingencies against any armed insurrection in North. But Sultan of Sokoto and other emirs told him not to worry.  They said besides treating them well, when Lugard defeated them in 1903, they thought they would lose their culture and religion. Because when they conquered the Yoruba down South, they imposed Islam and their custom on them but Lugard had ensured they kept their religion, morality and customs even after conquest. Hence no call for jihad against the British from Turkey would happen in the North. The Shehu of Borno even wrote in a handwritten letter to Lugard that he had an array of Imams in his courtyard praying for the success of British arms. The letter is worth further quoting:

“In such a case Allah is on our side. Our Lord Muhammad saith: ‘Those who break friendship, kill them like pagans. If you kill them perhaps they will repent.’ I have assisted the Resident with all that has been required, horses, donkeys, bullocks, carriers and corn, and everything that he asked for. The Resident told me that the King of England wanted them. I am the King of England’s servant. Why should I not help him?”

The Sultan of Sokoto and Shehu of Borno were later awarded CBE in recognition of their loyal assistance during the Great War.  What was worse, in 1851, Oba Kosoko of Lagos was deposed because of his positive attitude to slave trade.  With slavery outlawed everywhere in the British Empire, Lagos was eventually seized and occupied in 1861 and a colonial governor imposed because Dosumu, the reining king  was powerless to stop  the slave traffic. And yet when Lugard became the Governor of the North, he permitted slavery and other barbaric customs to persist under his nose. Slavery was eventually outlawed in the North in 1937.

It was this Faustian pact between Lugard and the Northern leadership that provided the institutional context for North-South gridlock today. Once a practice however barbaric was justified as part of the ancient traditions or Islamic conventions, it was automatically accepted as morally valid and permissible in a modern society as well. Flogging women for adultery or cutting their right leg from the thigh or slicing off of hands for theft or child marriage, or sending children to Koranic schools only instead of modern schools were justified in the name tradition and religion. Then the total number of secondary schools in Ibadan alone was more than the in the whole of the North.

Yet, despite the fact that the North represented the enduring power of a bad idea, Southern politicians assured of their own imaginary insecurities flocked to seek political power and certainties from them. With the 1959 elections ending with no clear winner, an alliance had to be formed to determine who would rule. It was no brainer that AG and NCNC should form a coalition. Awolowo had already humbled himself to be a Deputy Prime Minister or Finance Minister in Zik’s government.  Zik had invited AG’s team to Asaba, West’s door to the East to have coalition talks.  The talks were a clever ruse to keep AG’s hopes high and distracted from going upwards to the North for talks. Then all of a sudden, the AG read in the news that Zik and Michael Okpara had gone up North and clinched the deal with the Sardauna on forming the government while still ironing out coalition terms in Asaba. It was a blow reverberating till today. Tafawa Balewa would be the Prime Minister for the new nation and Zik, the President. Even Nkrumah was shocked. He asked Zik why having spent so much energy fighting for colonial emancipation  then settling for a toothless bulldog role when Nigeria needed him the most?  But it was a trap.

As he said in his autobiography, My Life, the first time Sardauna came to Lagos to participate in national politics was in 1947. Then with over £13,500 raised from all over Nigeria {a doctor’s annual salary then was a little over £200}, Zik had led 6 prominent NCNC delegates to London to protest the “obnoxious laws” of Governor Arthur Richards. The trip ended in failure with backbiting, abuses and accusations of theft. Zik’s opponents at the NYM, accused him of squandering the money and trust of Nigerians.  Zik replied insinuating that the Yoruba on the team, that is: Mrs. Fumilayo Ransome-Kuti, Prince Adeleke Adedoyin, Dr. A. B. Olorun-Nimbe, were the problem. There erupted a heated and prolonged press war between Zik’s Political Reminiscence in his West African Pilot and H.O. Davies’ Political Panorama in Daily Service. This led to Lagos Igbos rushing to buy machetes en mass thinking a tribal war was imminent.

The Governor and his General Secretary, Hugh Foot quickly called Zik and H.O. Davies to order at the Government House.  In the middle of all this was the time Sardauna came to Lagos for the first time. As he wrote in his autobiography, he went away with the resolve that “the North must take politics seriously.” And later when the Daily Service published the speech of Zik about Igbos being destined by God to conquer and rule over others, Sardauna’s resolved went deeper. He had been reading Zik and the Igbos through that lens ever since. Hence, immediately his NPC won the Northern regional election in 1951, it was AG he extended cooperation to for the Central House. His final way of neutralising Zik when the opportunity came in 1959 was to offer him a powerless post, which surprisingly Zik and Okpara dutifully accepted in place of being new Nigeria’s first Prime Minister.  It was this historic mistake that Nzeogwu, Ifeajuna and other coup plotters tried to undo in 1966.

All the attempts to partner with the North had always ended in disasters for everyone except the North. It takes an exceptional stupidity and wilful blindness on the part of Southern politicians not to see this. Yet without the South, the North has no power. The fight between Akintola and Awolowo was over this quest for Northern alliance. Once Akintola became the Western premier, he said instead of the AG collaborating with Northern minority parties as was the strategy, they should partner with NPC itself. Amongst other things, Akintola argued, the West’s free education policy had created numerous school leavers which the economy of the West would soon be unable to absorb fast. And since the North was spending so much in keeping Indian, Pakistani and British expatriates in the schools, colleges and university, the West’s graduates and school leavers can be offered at cheaper rates just like in the 1920s and 30s. And in the next 2 elections cycles, that is, by 1969, the North and the West would be economically indistinguishable from each other and would become a powerful voting bloc politically.

While Akintola was certain the new improved Northern alliance would be a tour de force, Awolowo reckoned it would be a tour de fraud. From 1952 to 1953, Northern legislators voted invariably for every bill the colonial government introduced but voted against every bill Western legislators introduced. Yet AG and NPC were in ‘strong’ partnership. When in 1952 the North was having problems with enrolling children in conventional schools, Awolowo offered them spaces in some Western schools. The NPC replied that the only help they wanted from the West was for Awolowo pullout those numerous Western children in Northern schools to make way for Northern children. That was again when their partnership was ‘strong.’

Awolowo warned Akintola that the North had never been a reliable partner and there can never be any fruitful cohesion with them. Akintola went ahead. Barely a year into coalition with the NCNC, the NPC too became convinced that they were in a state of sustained eclipse and had been waiting on the moon, now they wanted to focus on the sun.

When Balewa paid an official visit to Akintola, TOS Benson the federal minister of information and the only NCNC politician on the team was asked to step outside for a minute so that the Prime Minister and other members of his entourage could have a tête-à-tête with Akintola and his AG doyens. Part of the agreement then was to work Awolowo into the government as the Deputy Prime Minister, a post that Balewa adamantly refused to give NCNC. This secret coalition agreement was to be finalised and announced on 2nd of February 1962 when Sardauna would come down to University of Ibadan to commission the Sultan Bello Hall named after his grandfather Ali Abba bin Bello, the Sultan of Sokoto Caliphate.

Awolowo chose to out the dirty secret coalition talks during the National Convention of AG in Jos. He condemned Akintola, condemned the NPC, condemned the coalition talks and affirmed that AG under him would never have anything to do with NPC again. The imbroglio set into motion the cascading events that landed Awolowo in prison and brought the First Republic down with a civil war in tow.

It is high time we dissolved this big beast called a country.  After the constitutional crisis of 1953 the nation became ungovernable. The 4 western ministers that resigned meant the executive arm could not function.

Governor Macpherson flew Awolowo in from Ibadan to his Marina office for a 70 minute long close door meeting. He wanted to know if the AG’s tenacious quest for Nigeria’s independence was also a critique of the territory as it was. Daily Times of 11th April 1953 found the colonial governor asking Awolowo: “Does the Western region want to stand alone as a country?” He opened himself up to suggestion on how best to dissolve the country.

Awolowo flatly rejected the idea of splitting the West from Nigeria.  In fact it was Awolowo who suggested ways of mending it through another constitutional conference, which Macpherson then transmitted to his boss in London, Oliver Lyttleton, the Secretary for Colonies.  Like Zik and other nationalists of that era, Awolowo believed a big, strong and prosperous Nigeria like the emerging United States, would take its rightful place on the world stage and be the pride of Africa and the black world. Instead ever since, Nigeria stubbornly refused to be anything else except a global disgrace. Now is the time to split the country into two or three – and if the South-Southerners want to go it alone – four countries.

No ajoji or omo onile should be afraid of this move in the West at least. Oshodi Tapa was a little boy from the North who was about to be loaded onto a Portuguese ship as another sold slave. With his parents already murdered, he escaped and sought refuge in Oba of Lagos’ palace. Oba Eshinlokun took him in and raised him like one of his own princes.

Oshodi Tapa grew up to become a war general who organised the defence of Lagos when the British ships pounded it with artillery fire in 1851. It took these warships which would later participate in the Crimea War in Russia nine days to subdue Lagos and Oshodi Tapa’s forces ended up destroying one of ships, Teazer. Today Oshodi Tapa and his descendants are accepted as Lagosians with their own area and noble line of succession.

Also, the first sets of Igbos to migrate to and absorbed by the West were Osu outcasts. Condemned to living in evil forests and other dehumanising existence, they seized the endless opportunities the West had to offer and made it. As professionals or working class, they were the ones who went to show their tormentors and dehumanisers back home where the new prosperity was going to be. That led to an outward gush of the Igbos in the 1920s.

According to Crown Agents archives, 13, 000 alone sailed from Lagos to build Ghana’s railway.   Zik’s newspapers and chain of businesses were set up with money from Osus in Lagos. This welcoming nature of the Yoruba would continue even when Nigeria ceases to exist. No non-Yoruba in the West who does not want to leave for his/her new country must be forced to leave. More so, there must be no asset forfeitures. To account for decades of intermarriages,  every ex-Nigerian must be entitled to dual citizenship, one for country of residence and another for country of origin should the two differ.

In fact not much would change by the fluidity of choice of residence in so far it is backed up with the loyalty that comes with Oshodi-Tapa kind of citizenship. What would substantially change however is the fact that the progress and the resources of those who want to live in the 21st century would no longer be threatened or held back by those who prefer to stay put in the 7th century.

We want a good-bye-to-all-that referendum now. And the National Conference sitting in Abuja should make itself useful by setting a date for one.  Enough is enough.

 

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Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.

 

Buki Otuyemi: We take time for granted (Y! Superblogger)

by Buki Otuyemi

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In the past three weeks, I have lost two dear people to the dreaded cancer. It hurts me that they had to die like that. 

All of a sudden, there are so many bad and sad news all around and day by day I struggle to understand and even accept them as a part of life. The thing is, these occurrences are not even sudden. They have always been around, sicknesses, diseases, death, war, rape, robbery, etc. Growing up, my parents (bless their hearts) clearly must have shielded us from such bad news.

In the past three weeks, I have lost two dear people to the dreaded cancer. It hurts me that they had to die like that. It baffles me that as much as we humans have surpassed ourselves with “badass inventions” and what not, we still cannot find a cure for cancer or endometriosis. I don’t understand how getting a permanent cure and solution to these two diseases can be so out of reach to us. I mean, we go to the moon na!

I found the picture below on Facebook and it upset me for several days. If there’s any truth in it, then there is something very wrong with the human race.

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I have since learnt that life is just way too short for us to take time for granted. We must live for each moment and do good always. Death is inevitable, and the sooner we come to terms with that and straighten our present and future out, the better for us. We must live right and do the best we can for humanity. We must also leave good legacies behind and provide adequately for those we leave behind.
life life

 

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Rest In Peace Yemisi Komolafe and Lekan Kuku.
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Buki Otuyemi tweets from @survivor17

Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.

Time with Soyinka, Dangote, Keem Bello-Osagie, others auctioned at EnoughisEnough’s (EiE) Inaugural Fundraising Dinner

by Oge Okonkwo

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Enough is Enough Nigeria (EiE), a youth-led organization committed to a culture of good governance and public accountability held its first fundraising dinner on Saturday, June 14th at The Duchess @ Zion Centre, Victoria Island, Lagos.

Hosted by one of Nollywood’s leading ladies, Kate Henshaw and social entrepreneur, Kola Oyeneyin, the event featured soulful music from Timi Dakolo, a documentary of EiE’s work over the past 4 years and remarks by EiE Volunteers.

Henshaw also served as the auctioneer of the evening, engaging the audience humorously as she auctioned off dinner with Aliko Dangote and 1 hour sessions with Wole Soyinka, Fola Adeola, ‘Keem Belo-Osagie, Mo Abudu, Ibukun Awosika, Leke Alder, and Kemi Adetiba. Other items auctioned were 2 tickets to the Abu Dhabi Grand Prix, a Mai Atafo wedding dress and photo shoot with Kelechi Amadi-Obi.

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Omotola Jalade-Ekiende

Omotola Jalade-Ekehinde spoke passionately about her love for Nigeria, why she’s involved with EiE and challenged guests to also get involved. Omawumi shared her remarks via video through her song “Enough is Enough”.

Efe Paul shared his thought-provoking poem “Justice” and guests were treated to excerpts of Yaw’s political satire – “The Street”.

The fundraising dinner, organized to promote Enough is Enough’s core campaign, RSVP: Register │Select │ Vote│ Protect gathered the organization’s supporters, volunteers and staff for an unforgettable evening of fun and renewing their commitment to the non-partisan group’s mission, ahead of the 2015 elections.

Yemi Ademolekun

Yemi Ademolekun

In her welcome remarks, ‘Yemi Adamolekun, EiE’s Executive Director said, “Ensuring Nigeria lives up to its potential depend on you and I – Nigeria’s educated elite. We fully recognize that change will not happen in a year or two. Nevertheless, we are committed to this journey.”

Proceeds from the event will be used to support the many projects and initiatives EiE will undertake ahead of the 2015 elections.

The event was sponsored by Moet & Chandon and Zapphaire Events and event partners were Furtullah, Malas Foods, Saheeto and The Three Arms Hotel.

Dangote, Okonjo-Iweala make TIME 100 most influential people, see others

by Oge Okonkwo

Aliko-Dangote

Time magazine has just released its 100 most influential people in the world and surprisingly two remarkable Nigerians made the list, Africa’s richest man, Aliko Dangote and minister of finance, Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala made the top 100 list for 2014.

Nollywood actress, Omotola Jalade-Ekeinde was the only Nigerian who made the Time’s influential 100 in 2013.

On making the list, Microsoft founder and one of the world’s richest men, Bill Gates wrote a short bio on the billionaire entrepreneur, he said:

A year ago, I gave a speech in London about the fight to eradicate polio. It included a section on Nigeria, one of just three countries where the virus still circulates. The organizers told me Aliko Dangote had been invited. I thought, I’d like to see him, but he’d end polio faster by staying in Nigeria and doing the work he does every day. Fortunately, Aliko thought the same thing. He skipped my speech, and the children of Nigeria are better off for it.

Aliko is Africa’s richest man, and his business activities drive economic growth across the continent. That’s impressive, but I know him best as a leader constantly in search of ways to bridge the gap between private business and public health. It’s for that reason he helped create the Nigeria Private Sector Health Alliance. And it’s for that reason he is an advocate for agricultural research and malaria control.

All of this is in addition to Aliko’s leadership on polio and other diseases. The last time I was in Nigeria, we met with dozens of people, from government leaders to front-line health workers. After I left, Aliko followed up with them to make sure they were doing the work they said they would do. This year, Nigeria is on pace for its lowest number of polio cases ever. Aliko is a big reason why.

Ngozi_Okonjo-Iweala

Bono, a musician leader of the famous group U2 had something to say about the wonder woman, Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala:

I first met economist Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala when she was campaigning for Nigerian debt relief. We’d been fighting our way through capitals around the world trying to get Cold War–era debts canceled for the poorest, most heavily indebted countries. During her first term as Finance Minister of Nigeria, Ngozi arrived at her desk to find a weighty $30 billion owed. With oil prices on the rise, she stopped having to plead with her creditors and bought a massive chunk of her own debt so she could cancel it herself. As if to make a point. She became a legend in that moment. Humor and joy spill out of her, which can belie the fact that she’s got one of the toughest jobs on the planet — how to ensure that the tens of billions of dollars earned each year in oil receipts go into productive usage, like agriculture, infrastructure, health and education. Ngozi has made corruption her enemy and stability her goal. She is fiercely intelligent; everyone wants her to work with them. I couldn’t be prouder to work for her.

Some people who made the 2014 list were: Beyonce, Serena Williams, Pharell Williams, Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama.

Don’t do it: 7 deadly sins of dating

by Margeaux Baulch Klein

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People do not change very much as they get older, especially men. So if there are numerous things about him that you can’t stand, then it might be wiser to just change to a different man.

1. RUSHING INTO SEX

There isn’t a universal right time to become intimate with a new partner, however, if you have sex before a man has had a chance to get to know you, then you risk him placing you in the “fling” category and losing interest. A man has to invest and appreciate your other qualities beyond the physical for him to want to make you his girlfriend. So don’t be afraid to take your time and make him wait until it feels right for you; the “three date rule” is a myth!

2. OPENING UP TOO FAST

Likewise, it isn’t smart to rush in and tell him all of your sad childhood stories. Although it’s natural to want to speed up the bonding process, you have to pace the amount of information you share. You don’t want to scare him offwith TMI or convince him that you’re a high-drama mamma.

3. CALLING/TEXTING/EMAILING TOO MUCH

While it’s true that we live in an age of over-sharing, you’ll just have to trust us on this one and play it cool. Men typically enjoy playing the role of the chaser, not the chasee, so constantly calling them can have the reverse effect of making them less interested, not more. So put down that phone, slowly back away from the computer, and let him sweat it out for a change.

4. SPYING ON HIM

It may be tempting to take a quick peak at his Blackberry, but there’s no faster way to inflame trust issues than to snoop.

5. FAKING ORGASMS

Faking is a like a harmless, little white lie, right? No! In the long run, you are actually doing both of yourselves a huge disservice by allowing him to think that his moves are pleasing you when they really aren’t. Besides, what if you marry him? Are you really going to keep up the Meg Ryan act into your old age?

6. EXPECTING HIM TO CHANGE

People do not change very much as they get older, especially men. So if there are numerous things about him that you can’t stand, then it might be wiser to just change to a different man.

7. NEGLECTING YOURSELF

While it’s important to nurture a budding relationship, sacrificing all of your energy and time to it and ignoring your own needs is a huge mistake. Whether you’re in a relationship or not, you should always love and take care of yourself first.

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Read more in SheKnows

 

Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.

8 dating mistakes you need to STOP making

by Genevieve Nunis

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Unless you have a record for dating the worst guys in history, you don’t have to constantly worry about what your friends think about your new man. If you’re happy, whatever they think should be irrelevant.

It’s true – dating isn’t easy. Sometimes it can be really hard to the point where you don’t even know what you’re doing wrong. If you’re feeling clueless about the dating scene, here are the most common bad habits that could potentially ruin your chances of happiness with the guy you’re seeing now.

Faux Pas #1: Sticking to one “type” of guy

Yes, blue-eyed boys are extremely cute but that doesn’t mean they’re the only one for you. While it helps to have that sense of attraction towards a man, you don’t have to limit yourself to a certain type of guy because they’re supposedly “better”. After all, Mr Right doesn’t always come in the package you expect, so keep an open mind.

Faux Pas #2: Waiting for him to make the first move

If you’re eyeing the cutie at the bar, don’t wait for him to smile and say hello because “it’s his job”. The times have changed a lot and men are finding women who approach them to be more attractive because they’re go-getters. Approach him with a smile and start with a casual, light-hearted conversation. If he’s interested in you, he’ll probably ask you to have to seat, or even give his seat up for you!

Faux Pas #3: Living in the past

It can be hard to let go of tough relationships, but sometimes, they leave you so broken, you find it hard to move on without constantly having flashbacks about what happened. These insecurities can be dangerous to your new relationship, but you can easily turn that into room for improvement by confiding in your new boyfriend. Tell him what the problems were and what should be done to help you cope with these new relationship. For all you know, doing this will only make your relationship stronger.

Faux Pas #4: Texting under the influence

Whether it’s a few beers at a barbecue, or a full-fledged party with the girls, sending  the guy you’re crushing on a message about how you’re “free tonight” can really wreck the progress the two of you have been making. If you have friends nearby, tell your friends to stop you!

Faux Pas #5: Worrying that he’s not up to your friends’ standards

Unless you have a record for dating the worst guys in history, you don’t have to constantly worry about what your friends think about your new man. If you’re happy, whatever they think should be irrelevant. However, if they dislike for reasons like he treats you badly, it’s time to reassess your match!

Faux Pas #6: “Settling” on what you find

Are you seeing a guy even when you don’t like him just because you’re afraid of going out alone every week?If you’re not into him, don’t waste your time and his when you can use that time to meet someone who you really like. After all, it’s not a nice thing to string a guy along to benefit your selfish needs.

Faux Pas #7: Dwelling on his flaws

So, he has a slight unibrow, or slobbers a little too much when eats. No one’s perfect, so try to focus on his positive traits rather than his flaws. Unless he’s just gross and doesn’t even take care of his hygiene.

Faux Pas #8: Expecting him to pay all the time

The times have changed and a lot of women are now hurrying to foot the bill. Whether it’s a sign of independence, or just a case of showing off their wealth, a lot of men and women feel that the woman should at least pay for her own when going out. If the gentleman insists, go for it. But it doesn’t hurt to treat him once in a while too. Give and take!

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Read more in LipStiQ

 

Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.

Perry Brimah: Dear OBJ and IBB, we are ready to be leaders of today, not tomorrow

by Peregrino Brimah

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We can and will do this with you or without you. We are determined. You are seeing the force of change, the natural tendency of things, as Ghandi said, after a while all tyrant leadership eventually falls. Every wicked tyranny in history eventually falls. You are witnessing a transition period in Nigeria that no one could ever expect or predict.

This letter is to the attention of ex-President Ibrahim Badamosi Babangida and two-time ex-President, Olusegun Obasanjo.

On behalf of Nigeria’s youth, I will like to inform you that the Youth are coming. We have risen. We have decided to be the leaders of today. Not tomorrow that never came; the leaders of Today. We the Youth are reclaiming our country. Our country, a country you do not own.

This message is to inform, or advise you of your next actions. The two of you got us here. You two created most of the mess we are in today. You two rendered this nation nonviable. You two held the reins of government in maniacal style, devoured the commonwealth and created holes in the system through which billions of US dollars could be looted. You two with your pals, rendered the nation helpless through hopeless transfers of power. You two ruined our systems, our judicial system, our security system and our political system. You two invented the almighty cabal and empowered them limitlessly, transferring the endowment of the nation into the hands of a few wicked, rapacious monsters. You started sharing oil wells to the dirty, still being shared today for election 2015. You two have continuously controlled the nations ‘political’ dispensation, juggling power and implanting yourselves, your brothers, friends and your godsons into office.

It is thanks to the both of you that we are a nation under siege today, ruled by crazy, inebriated ruthless plunderers. It is thanks to you that we are the bottom of the barrel, a laughing stock of the entire world, not even making headlines anymore, not even when we have the greatest flood of the year, or even when we have the largest looting scandals of human history. No headlines. The world has forgotten us, condemned the nation’s youth as hopeless and helpless mentally ruined slobber. But Lord knows we are not. We are a force. We are things you can never imagine. We can plan and organize in ways you will never dream was possible. We are the Nigerian Youth awakening.

And today, we have decided to give you a chance to make this revolution less bloody. We are giving you a chance for a little redemption, if such can exist after all the atrocities you have done. Our proposition is simple: Fix this mess and hand over to Youth. And then, take yourselves on exile from Nigeria, never to return for the rest of your lives.

You broke your pledge to Nigeria. You never loved Nigeria with all your strength; you only loved your pockets, and what a shame that was. Like the Solomon story, you chose for the baby to be split in half and killed; you rather possess half a dead baby than see it alive if won’t be yours. But now, you and your ilk must leave our nation, or you will never see sunlight again in it when we are soon through. Corruption is robbery and elite robbers will go to jail. It will be a new day.

We can and will do this with you or without you. We are determined. You are seeing the force of change, the natural tendency of things, as Ghandi said, after a while all tyrant leadership eventually falls. Every wicked tyranny in history eventually falls. You are witnessing a transition period in Nigeria that no one could ever expect or predict. You are seeing a cohesive force of Youth ready to die to make change. Youth media, youth activists, and everyday youth moving as a force majeure. Rising up all around you.

The choice is yours, for it is within your power to do something good. We know you; we know the conspiracies you have plotted that got us here. Now, the people of Nigeria, the millions of destitute, the millions of sick, wounded, hopeless and grieving, represented by a Youth who have decide to take charge, direct you to fix the mess you created and be granted safe leave, or you wait it out in your mansions in Abuja and Ota, watch a lengthier, severe but by God, successful, intellectual and moral revolution, and be taken to the gallows. Yes, for all of us and our friends and families that have lived in suffering and poverty and died painful deaths in the hands of your governments, we will be brutal to the corrupt. We will take no prisoners.

Fellow Youth. We implore you set your differences aside just for now, at least. We can resume the animosity later, but right now we have a common task. In Ghana, the Hausa and Ga do not quarrel and kill each other. It is these wicked ‘elders’ and elite that have kept us this way; pitted the Hausa against the Igbo to distract us while they loot us silly. We can work together again as we did to elect Abiola. Why quarrel and fight each other over budgetary dispensation of $30 billion, when together we can fight and for once in our history, recover$100s of billions from looters and re-establish a full yearly income of three times as much for our nation?

Perhaps when we bring in our total oil earning, the true figure of which Nigeria has never known, and which more than half of has always been set for looting since the Babangida regime, perhaps we would have such surpluses and a quality, sane life, we won’t even need fight each other anymore. Once we get rid of these jagajaga, greedy, sick and morally deficient looters, we will have a true SNC. We will decide if we want regions or nations, all in the best interest of life and the pursuit of happiness with peace and security. If the time is not now, then when is it? Who will avenge the deaths of the innocent students slaughtered in Yobe… in Borno, in Bayelsa, in Benue? Who will ensure our police are fairly paid and equipped from the nation’s wealth, so they secure the nation properly rather than focus on street bribe? Who will avenge the pain and suffering of millions of Nigerians today and in the past? If not us and if not now, when will we be the leaders of the day? Who will retrieve the 60% looted annual endowment and give it to its rightful owners, so Nigeria will no longer have 112 million poor and over 100 million destitute, living under a dollar-a-day, while a few senseless, greedy cows can have hundreds of billions of dollars to lose to foreign banks; or can privatize and make phony companies in Nigeria to bill us triple global averages and extort us further?

To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace. (Bible)

It is our time. The Youth Will Lead Today! We will peacefully, boldly fight this war! And we will win!

May God continue to be on the side of the oppressed. May God give us the power for this battle against evil.

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Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.

Opinion: Our fathers are traitors

by Tony Usidamen

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Indeed, the Nigerian society today is full of such “traitor fathers” who have failed to transmit to the young the values of hard work, dignity in labour, selflessness, social responsibility, accountability, fairness and respect for others, reminding us that fatherhood is not a “natural” given but is cultural and educative.
As events to commemorate Nigeria’s centenary (January 1, 1914 – January 1, 2014) continue, and as I reflect on the condition of Nigerian youth today, the perception of the precarious world that has been shaped for us over the last 100 years became stronger than ever.
Unarguably, the generations of young people who have come on the scene, one after the other, in recent decades, have found a country whose characteristics and “climate” are changing. Today, the greatest challenge is being young in a nation dominated by fear and uncertainty.
Graphic, empirical or quantitative evidence strongly support this assertion: According to the Nigerian Bureau of Statistics (NBS) “2012 Youth Baseline Survey Report”, the population of Nigerians below the age of 35 years comprises 60% of the entire population of the country. Assuming that the 2006 census and the 2012 estimate of 167 million for people resident in Nigeria are correct, then the youth population in Nigeria today may well be over 100 million.
Of this number an alarming 54% are unemployed, the NBS report shows (I reckon that the underdevelopment of agriculture through years of neglect and poor policy administration, comatose extractive/mining sector, de-industrialization and the failure of manufacturing over time have contributed in no small way to the poor employment figures).
Also, the United Nations Development Programme (UNDP), in its 2013 Human Development Index (HDI) Report, ranked Nigeria amongst countries with low development index at 153 out of 186 countries that were ranked. Adult illiteracy rate in Nigeria is 61.3%. Life expectancy is placed at 52 years while other health indicators reveal that only 1.9% of the nation’s budget is expended on health. 68.0% of Nigerians are stated to be living below a miserable $1.25 daily.
Additional worrisome data are that, while South African and Egyptian universities make the list, no single Nigerian university is ranked among the best 10 in Africa and top 400 in the world, as the “Times Higher Education World University Rankings 2013-2014” show. “T.H.E. Ranking” is the only global university performance table to judge world-class universities across all of their core missions – teaching, research, knowledge transfer and international outlook.
Of course, social services today are exceedingly poor and the decay in public infrastructure is glaring for all to see. Or does one need any data to appreciate the challenges that the problem of ethnicity, diminishing national consciousness, religious intolerance and unchecked activities of militias and terrorist organizations pose to security at societal and individual levels in Nigeria today? The gory pictures from the recent massacre of over 30 students in Yobe State by Boko Haram insurgents tell the tale better.
As gloomy as they appear all the data given above do not sufficiently portray the ‘real’ drama of today’s youth. The critical issue is something denser; something that goes beyond the unemployment statistics and the tables confirming that the world has changed and that the guarantees of a generation ago are almost impossible in today’s times of ferocious competition and obligatory flexibility.
At the heart of the matter is the question of ideology. Today’s youth are immersed in epochal changes. We were not born in historical circumstances in which time-tested, traditional value systems are handed on almost mechanically. We find ourselves before a diversity that forces us to choose.
Sadly, the ideology that reads everything in terms of “individual” success; where the value of a person is measured by the possession of material wealth (materialism), is what many young people, in recent decades, have lived by (how much culture, movies, and music bear this terrible news!).
Relationships, family, ideals have been pruned, cut away. “Solipsism” – the belief in oneself as the only reality – and, even worse, “Nihilism” (the belief in nothingness), are gradually taking root in our youth. The results?  Various forms of impatience, disappointment and, yes, fear. So much so that many young people today have become violent against themselves, others and the world.
While everything in a person tends to search for something that satisfies fully his desire for beauty, truth, and justice, what we meet and what is proposed publicly and privately seems marked by condemnation, precariousness, uncertainty, and doubtfulness.
 
The real drama, therefore, lies in truly finding something that satisfies one’s life. And life as it is, with its limitations and its precipices, not life as a soap opera. This is the story, splendid and terrible, that is on the stage in the Nigerian theater, and pertains to all.
Traitor fathers
But where has the father, in his inexcusable absence, gone? Italian author and playwright, Giovanni Testori, wrote about those “traitor fathers” who had coined a medal with no flip side, “the medal of easiness, that did not envision its flip side: difficulty.” They then passed it on to their children, betraying the very ones they had generated.
Indeed, the Nigerian society today is full of such “traitor fathers” who have failed to transmit to the young the values of hard work, dignity in labour, selflessness, social responsibility, accountability, fairness and respect for others, reminding us that fatherhood is not a “natural” given but is cultural and educative.
The dearth of “adults” who are a presence bearing a true identity, a positive hope, a constructive certainty or meaning for their lives leaves many young people in an immense solitude, which they fill with the easy and sometimes terrible “games” that are readily available.
Thanks to these traitor fathers who have institutionalized corruption in every facet of our public life through years of bad leadership (with a score of 25 out of a possible 100 points, and ranked 144 out of 177 countries measured, Nigeria emerged the 33rd most corrupt country in the world in the Transparency International Corruption Perception Index 2013), our youth have imbibed a lifestyle of greed and a “get-rich-quick-at-all-cost” mentality.
But how can the youth see things any different in a society where corruption is the norm and thieving politicians and fraudulent businessmen are celebrated as heroes? Where a poor, hungry man who steals another’s ‘cube of sugar’ is imprisoned while a public official who embezzles ‘billions of dollars’ of our common wealth is allowed to go scot-free, or even granted Presidential pardon?
The Need for Re-orientation
At individual and national levels, there is a paramount need for reorientation; a changed set of attitudes and beliefs. There is need for an education (The fundamental idea in the education of the young is that it is through the younger generations that society successively rebuilds itself), and parents and religious leaders have a role to play here, as much as educational institutions do.
Let’s be clear: the concept of education I am referring to is not “mere acquisition of academic qualifications” (as, unfortunately, obtains in most institutions of learning today). No! I mean education as Luigi Giussani, Italian educator and founder of International Communion & Liberation Movement, describes it in his book “The Risk of Education” – “an introduction to total reality.”
To educate means to introduce a person to reality by clarifying and developing his primary or original view. True education, therefore, has the inestimable value of leading a person to the certainty that things, in fact, do have a meaning, and “tradition” is an important component of the educational process.
Unless young people are taught about the past (tradition) from within a life experience that highlights a correspondence with the heart’s deepest needs; in other words, from the context of a life that speaks for itself (a true father figure – who could be a parent, teacher, or any responsible role model), they will grow up either unbalanced or skeptical. If they have nothing to guide them in choosing one theory (a working hypothesis) over another, they will invent skewed ones.
The youth must take this past and these reasons, look at them critically, compare them with the fundamental desires of their heart, and say, “this is true”, or “this is not true”. As they grow older, following this educational method, their passion for life acquires an intensity and brilliance that even the educator could not have fathomed, and discloses to them the dignity of their personality and the affinity with the divine that gives it its substance.
Of course, this “recollected awareness of the ultimate sense of life’s mysteries” must become a spiritual exercise, an ascetic path, and thus a suitable perspective from which to live out a goal worthy of their lives.”
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Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.