5 surprising things that ruin your confidence

by Real Buzz

If you’ve just had a fight with your best friend and you don’t want to ruin your confidence, it might be wise to whip up some humble pie, swallow your pride and apologise ASAP.

We all strive to be confident, thinking that it will make us happier, more successful and better looking. Here are 5 surprising things that ruin your self-esteem.

Colleague gets a promotion

You’ve got the champagne on ice, the balloons and banner hung, so why do you have this niggling feeling that it should be your name on those congratulations print-outs? Even if you don’t work in the same department, or are not a direct competitor to your freshly promoted colleague, when someone else steps up another rung on the career ladder it can be hard not to feel a little put out.

Why? Well, it highlights your current position and if you’re not happy about your role or wage then it can make you wonder why your colleague got promoted over you. Are they better at their job? Are you not as valued as your colleague? So, even though you might initially be happy for your work friend, your colleague getting a promotion can easily ruin your confidence.

Fall out with your gay BFF

People come and go throughout your life and even though you and your gay BFF were inseparable in your twenties, when the thirties or forties strike, there’s nothing in place that guarantees your relationship will survive. If you’re a woman, falling out with your gay BFF can ruin your confidence.

A study conducted by researchers in Canada found that women who have a gay friend have better self-esteem when it comes to the way they look and their body confidence. So, if you’ve just had a fight with your best friend and you don’t want to ruin your confidence, it might be wise to whip up some humble pie, swallow your pride and apologise ASAP.

You share a creative idea

Being creative is a soulful process as any artist can tell you and if you pour your creative energy into an idea – whether it’s for a work’s meeting, a book or a vision for decorating your home – and that idea is rejected, it can have a massive impact on your confidence.

This is because having a creative idea rejected feels like a creation of who you are because creative thinking is very personal. Yet, never hold back on these creative ideas, even if they may cause a backlash for your self-esteem. Remember, this setback will be temporary and creative ideas are often unusual by their very nature, so rejection is commonplace. One day, those creative ideas might get you noticed and for all the right reasons; so keep them coming.

Your brother or sister is going to be a parent

Surely the announcement that your sibling is having a child is supposed to fill you with joy and pride, not remorse and self-contempt? Well, although a new baby in the family is often positive, surprisingly the fact that your younger brother or sister is starting a family can be terrible news for your confidence.

This is because according to your life plan you were always going to be the one that settled down and got their life in order before your younger sibling. They’ve always been the one following in your footsteps, so how have they suddenly got out in front and become the leader?  This family announcement is fantastic, but nonetheless it can make you look at your life in a new light and cause your confidence to plummet.

You didn’t even fancy them

Sometimes you get dragged into a date kicking and screaming. Not only do you not fancy this person, you’re not even sure you like them as a person. Plus their dress-sense is shocking. As you’re sitting opposite your date in the restaurant, you feel like (even though you would never admit it) that you are definitely in another league to this socially awkward person.

Yet even though you had no intention of ever calling your date up and arranging another date, when they don’t bother to get in contact with you either, you can’t help but be a little bit hurt. Plus when you hear from your friend who set you up that they weren’t interested you can guarantee that this will badly affect your confidence. When someone you didn’t even like doesn’t like you back, it can make you feel like you will never even have a chance with someone you actually fancy. However, remember, if you don’t want to ruin your confidence forever, when you like someone you’ll give them signals and signs, so that the chances are they’ll like you back this time around.



Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.

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