by Anna Breslaw

There’s a lot of pressure on women — both from ourselves and sometimes our partners — to meet certain expectations in and around the bedroom. And with so many expectations hovering over us, a lot of women aren’t having as much fun in bed as they should be having.

Not all the below categories apply to every woman, because obviously we’re all different, but these are some common things unfairly expected of women in the bedroom.

1. Shaving Or waxing.

Or Nair-ing. Or any other potentially-painful, potentially-infectious hair removal procedure undergone solely for the purpose of looking more like a hairless pornstar. Give or take the occasional trim, I don’t really see any guys taking hot wax to their balls for sexually aesthetic purposes.

2. Coming just from penetration. 

Did you know that as of a 2011 survey, only 30 percent of women reported being able to orgasm from penile thrusting alone? Well, thanks to faking and porn, not a whole lot of guys do. Which is why we need a whole lot of other stuff besides just regs penetrative sex.

3. Getting right down to it without foreplay. 

We’re taught from movies that simultaneous orgasm happens during sex every time. But IRL, since women generally don’t come the way men do, it often works out that the ladyfriend comes during foreplay, followed by the dude once actual penetrative sex starts. And that’s great! For the love of God, have a ton of foreplay. Because at the very least, if you’re not turned on, you’ll be dry, which is painful and unhealthy. 

4. Immediate orgasms.

For most of us, it’s not gonna happen after 5 minutes. But it’s funny how every guy seems to have stories of an ex-girlfriend with superhuman orgasmic speed!

5. Being submissive. 

Not all women are predisposed to enjoy being dominated. The popular male-held belief that men always have to be dominant and women submissive is embarrassingly retro.

6. Uncomfortable lingerie. 

Sure, we all have some cute matching Anthropologie sets, or even black lace. But I am not gonna wear awkward, chafe-tastic straps or crotchlessanything just to “spice things up.”

7. Playing hard-to-get. 

When you’re single and dating, you encounter many guys who expect you to be the one who wants to wait for sex. And if you do, that’s fine! But if you want to have sex, there’s no need to deny your desires and instill the three-date rule just so he thinks you’re a “good girl.”

8. Liking it rough. 

Considering p-in-va-g is often not the way that we orgasm, it would make sense if a girl who mostly has clitoral orgasms wasn’t super into rough sex. And yet, we’re expected to enjoy being pounded.

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Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.