Safiya Salau’s Short Stories: Chemical X

… a poem by Safiya Salau.

 

Curiosity got the best of us. Better than best, it got the greater good of us. What did the grinded bunch of leaves do that made everyone exaggerate it’s potential to create good times. Well “we gon’ learn today” we said, as we mixed it with our noodles and chewed cautiously. Let’s not call it ‘it’, let us call it ‘x’. We double checked the door to make sure we were locked in properly to avoid any incident we may unconsciously go and cause in the ‘outside world’. It would be clear to us later that locks wouldn’t stop the inevitable from happening.

X shut our eyes half way and made us giggle at unnecessary things like insects moving across a wall. X made us share our deepest fears and helped us give the most philosophical advice. It was a good time floating in clouds until the clouds erupted in flames and we realized that we didn’t like our state of mind. We were not in control and that scared us more than being caught or getting addicted. We were vulnerable, lost in imagined clouds that dissolved through blank spaces in our mind. Blank empty spaces, we became numb to the pain that comes with lack of power. X made us plead for our sanity back, just for the night and we would not want to lose our minds again. We washed our faces to wear off the cunning effect, but we drowned in our personal shame.

In our little room, doors away from the adults, we were bosses turned beggars. What was the X hype about? We would never know. It cost us a lot of money and it stripped us of our power. We begged to stop forgetting everything we said a minute ago, and to stop reality from posing as a dream. At some point we unlocked the door, to go make food in hunger or anger. Not sure which one. X increased our appetite for food and violence. Our whole idea of what ‘cool’ was changed overnight, as we questioned all the other things that were being hyped. We would try all these things and lose interest in ‘cool’ things. We would later have our own definition of ‘cool’. Then we would be ‘boring’ to others, but wise to ourselves.

 

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cool good eh love2 cute confused notgood numb disgusting fail