When I accepted to write for this series, my excitement was immediately replaced with confusion.
Was the question to respond to ‘what I’m grateful for’ or what I’m not grateful for?
If I was to recount the blessings I’ve received this year, the punishment and evils I’ve been spared, would I be able to pause to grab a drink, ever? Would I even be able to pause to go to sleep?
If I spent the rest of my days talking about how I would have been reduced to a memory but for the mercies of God, would time ever be enough? How God by Himself landed our plane that night in November when people on-board were already saying things like “God if it is your will…” He spared us, not because of our righteousness, least because of our good deeds, but because He is merciful. Because He loves me. Unconditionally, in spite of myself.
Speaking of love, God loved me ‘by force’ this year, I cannot even start to explain it! Certain events made me believe that He held a meeting with the Hosts of Heaven and gave one instruction; “this is the year that we love Chioma more than we’ve ever loved her before, this is the year that we circumvent all our rules to love her, love her, love her. (Not like any of this is possible but you get the idea).
Igbo people say, “ana azo nwa okuko ndu osi na onwu ka ya nma” – you’re trying to save someone but they insist they want to be left alone or see what evil feels like (depends on which parent is dispensing this proverb). God brought Psalm 107:20 to life for me this year, delivering me time and time, and time again, using the different people he’s placed in my life.
And so I’m grateful for my friends – helpers, burden bearers, companions – people never too far away or too busy to share the joys and the not-so-happy times with.
I’m particularly grateful for the ones who saw through the blanket bullshit the statement “I’m fine” is sometimes, the ones who didn’t allow me to self-combust from worry.
The ones with the tough love, who forced me to get back up and keep going, when all I wanted to do was curl up in a ball and do nothing because I was afraid.
This year I’m also grateful not only for the lessons I learned from mistakes I made, but for the window to make those mistakes and ‘come back from them’.
Finally, I’m grateful for my family, and for the many blessings we’ve received this year; according to my pastor, “nothing missing, nothing broken.” Who are we, that God is so mindful of us?
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30 Days of Gratitude is a month-long series curated by Leading Ladies Africa. It chronicles the unique experiences of different African women, and presents them the opportunity to share their, life-learned lessons, dreams& aspirations, and their hopes for the future.
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