Chris Bamidele: 5 types of wives that can cheat (Y! Superblogger)

by Chris Bamidele

 

Now, I wrote this piece a while back and it has everything to do with married couple as suggested in the title. So, my married friends, here is to you. If I am wrong, please do let me know, after all what does a single guy like me know about marriage. Enjoy.

Sometime ago, I posted an article “Why Men Cheat” and one of my twitter follower tweeted at me that we men cheat because we are born to do so. She believes, just like many women that I know that cheating is in a man’s DNA, therefore, no matter how hard he tries not to cheat, he would still do so at some point or the other. Not that I was surprised by her response though, because that is the perception of almost every woman out there. Some women have even said, “A woman needs a reason to cheat, but a man needs just a place” I do not totally believe this because I have seen faithful men out there, and I am faithful to my girlfriend. Yes, I am. You want to argue? Don’t!

A bit further than men and cheating, I also know that there seems to be a general consensus that married women rarely cheat especially in this part of the world, because they respect the institution of marriage more than men and most would not risk their marriages just because of some lousy illicit affair. But when women cheat, there must be a reason; which is why if a man found out his wife has cheated on him, the first question in his mind would most likely be “Why did she do it?” unlike a woman that would simply say “Men are born to cheat…” like she is expecting it somehow.

The reason(s) why women cheat differs from woman to another. Some do it for love, some just for sex, some need a boost in their self-esteem and some are just wired to be unfaithful. But I believe that the reason behind the cheating is not as important as cheating itself; because for me, when you cheat on your married partner, there is no reason enough to justify the action. But since life is still about causes and effects, any wife who finds herself in any of these categories will most likely cheat often than not.

  • The Emotionally Starved Wife:

A couple of years ago, I met a woman, the one you could describe as a ‘Christian wife’ who was looking and willing to cheat on her husband with me. I declined because it was against my personal principle, but I tried to find out why she would want to do that while still in the marriage. She explained that she and her husband had no child, but they were both working hard to have every good thing money can buy and live a prestigious lifestyle that would make them happy. They eventually did but at some point, the man completely neglected her, the romance and emotional attachment to their marriage was gone and the attachment was now solely on the things they had acquired over the years and trying to sustain. Then the wife became lonely and needing attention, even as they were still looking for a child and believing God for a miracle. She complained that she’d consider herself lucky if they had sex once in 2 months as the man was always out of the country making more money and probably cheating on her. I tried to advise her, but don’t ask me what my advice was, because I won’t tell. So, the thing here is, when a woman feels lonely and she no longer feels emotional attachment to her husband, she might just go looking for it elsewhere.

The reason(s) why women cheat differs from woman to another. Some do it for love, some just for sex, some need a boost in their self-esteem and some are just wired to be unfaithful.

  • The Low Self-Esteem Wife:

Whether we accept it or not, we all need some form of validation, it does something to our psyche especially in a loving relationship or marriage. And when a woman gets married to a man who takes her and the marriage for granted, and he suddenly does not see the sexy and attractive woman he married anymore, but just a mother, a housekeeper and someone who keeps the family running smoothly. The woman might soon start feeling she is no longer sexy, beautiful or desirable, and before long, her self-esteem is in the gutter. Then she becomes a sitting duck for another man who compliments her, shows interest in her emotionally, tells her constantly that she is beautiful, looks at her and sees something other than just a mother, a housekeeper and a wife. A woman who had sunk into the level of low self-esteem may find herself willing to throw caution to the wind in order to find the validation she needs and she’s not getting in the marriage.

  • The Angry Wife:

If you want to bring out the worst in your wife, let her doubt your fidelity and somehow confirm her suspicions to be true. Don’t be surprised that some women can cheat to get back on a cheating husband; after all the good book says “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.” A woman who has spent all years devoting her time and herself to her husband and eventually finds out that he is cheating on her with someone even very lower than her standard might just get angry and decide “What is good for the goose is also good for the gander”

  • The Excitement Seeker Wife:

Some men cheat for the thrill of it, and same goes for some women. This kind of wife “thinks and acts like a man” she loves her husband and she’s not ready to leave him, but she needs something extra from time to time. This kind of woman wants to be wanted, wants to feel sexy, and most times believes her husband must be turned on every time she walks into the room. But when that does not happen as often as she expected, she goes looking for it outside the marriage. She just wants excitement and more of it.

  • The Sexually Deprived Wife:

It’s a known fact that as men age, their testosterone levels drop and they become less interested in sex or develop sexual dysfunction and are unable to perform as much as they were doing before. And especially if you are a man who decided that marrying a woman 25 years your junior was the best thing for you, and suddenly she isn’t getting sex at home, don’t be surprised if she goes looking for it outside the marriage. Also there are some men who withhold sex from their wives as a form of punishment, these men don’t communicate their dissatisfaction with something their wife has done but punish her by withdrawing from her sexually. This is such a bad thing to do; NEVER ignore the sexual needs of your wife because that sets you up to one day possibly have to deal with the betrayal and pain of her cheating on you. I would never do such to a woman who is my legit babe or wife, even if she offends me. If she wants sex, I am good to go (LOL).

But, after all said, and regardless of the reasons, there should be no excuses for being unfaithful as no one is ever responsible for cheating but the cheater. If you are a wife and having any of the problems stated above, you should put some effort at solving the marital problems instead of just going out to cheat outrightly. Stay Safe.

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Chris Bamidele is an accomplished writer and blogger. He blogs from http://degreatest2.wordpress.com

Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.

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