@Demolarewaju: All men pay for sex one way or the other (Y! Superblogger)

by Demola Rewaju

Prostitution is often called the oldest profession in the world by some but there are no historical records of this, what we do know is that there once was a woman in the eighteenth century called Ninon de Lenclos who was able to uplift her own status from mere prostitution into something that was more classy – let’s call her a courtesan. She had men divided into categories: those who gave her money to maintain her lavish lifestyle even though they were never certain they would receive any sexual favours from her and those who hoped to gain access to her favours by their intellectual or social achievements yet she only always chose one man at a time and the others must never show any negative emotions to the one she chose or risk losing her company forever. In the one class were the wealthy nobles of her time and in the other were the elite who were not as wealthy and both groups comprised of the creme de la creme of the French society in her days. We find these days that most men fall into either of both groups: those who seek to impress women with their wealth and those who seek to impress them with other manly attributes.

The feeling of power that comes with wealth is best demonstrated when a man puts it at the disposal of a woman to whom he is attached. I recently heard of one of my younger street brothers in LAUTECH (a school fast becoming notorious for internet fraud activities) who celebrated his girlfriend’s birthday in a very grand style. His pride is in how much he spends for her and he is willing to let anyone know. In his case, he loves her very much and will be hurt if she leaves him so that’s not really what this piece is about. There are some men however who perhaps tired of love and in preference of a straightforward relationship are willing to be relevant to a woman only as her financial support in exchange for her sexual favours which is never exclusive to him.

Sound Sultan

One of the songs that got my attention over the past few weeks is Sound Sultan’s “Natural Something” which video I think is only surpassed so far this period by Flavour’s “Ada Ada” video. This song is lyrically deep and the video is very expressive, featuring TyMix who produced the song, Ike (formerly called Wildchild), Basketmouth, Chidi Mokeme and cool DJ Jimmy Jatt. The song and video talk about a guy who suddenly becomes rich by getting a million dollar recording contract. The entire sum is lavished by him on a lady as he sings: “I spend my money everyday, on top woman/ I don’t care if she walks away, to another man/ I am ready to be your mugu, your personal maga for life…”. The more I listened to the song as I watched the video over and again, I couldn’t help but agree that his lyrics mirror the attitude of many brothers these days.

One can partially understand why a lady would depend on a man for financial support even though we put forward the argument that ladies need to work for their own money so that they can hold their heads up with pride. Why men do it has often been a mystery and that was the gist of Sultan’s song and video. The opening scene has a meeting of MUGU + MAGA ANONYMOUS chaired by Ike and that got me thinking, men who are willing to seemingly play the fool for women by giving them money are many in our society but we like to refer to them as ‘aristos’.

"The opening scene of the Sultan video has a meeting of MUGU + MAGA ANONYMOUS chaired by Ike..."

Relationships can sometimes be a burden that some men prefer to avoid, especially when they are married. Dealing with the day to day tension of living with a member of the opposite sex can either be invigorating or depressing and when the latter is the case, men seek relationships outside the confines of the normal relationship. The other relationship however cannot be allowed to go the way of the main relationship so it is better to just have a no strings attached affair: that’s why some men pay for it.

Paying for it means no lady is going to show up at your doorsteps with a bang belly neither will she call you at 2.30am just to chitchat. If you both go out together, she won’t mind if you don’t introduce her to your friends, would rarely act possessive over you and best of all: she would never get angry or jealous that you’re spending time with your main woman. (If she acts contrary to any of the above, the relationship isn’t about money anymore).

When one approaches the male-female relationship with businesslike precision, it stirs up certain primordial aspects of a man’s inner consciousness. Men don’t always want to engage in the games women like to play or to even be in a serious relationship or to engage in foreplay with a woman. Sometimes, these men just want to use what they have to get what they want and when they meet a lady who is willing to use what she has (which he wants) to get what she wants (which he has), it’s game on. Just as the men who maintained Ninon de Lenclos’ lavish lifestyle prided themselves on being her patrons, some men take pride in doing fancy stuff for women whom they are not in regular relationships with.

It is said by some men that the cost of running a regular relationship may seem free ab initio but it usually runs into thousands along the way in costs of cinema trips, paying for her hairdo (think Brazilian or Peruvian hair), hosting her birthday, fuelling her car, the ‘Honey I’m broke’ calls and so on. Compare this with a lady who tells you straight up that she would require N100, 000 a month from you for her upkeep and will spend every other Friday night with you at a hotel while admitting she has a boyfriend on the side whom she loves very much…that’s the other reason why some guys prefer to just pay for it. With those who pay for it, there is never a guarantee of availability or that she would be willing to do some special sexual trick: Cardinal Richelieu once paid fifty thousand crowns to spend a night with Ninon de Lenclos but she sent a friend instead.

And for the rest of us who may not like to pay for it, we all pay for it, one way or another.


Demola Rewaju blogs at www.DemolaRewajuDaily.com

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