Every day on the Nigerian internet, there are people who keep our eyes glued to our phone screens as we read their rants, opinions, perspectives on political and social issues, etc. Sometimes, they are just downright ridiculous.

Here are the ones we saw today:

I am not on any dating site and shooting shot at me is a lost cause because I am not interested in romance. Eat some fruits today

— ? (@TJBenson_) September 20, 2019

Babies must be so stressed. One minute they are asleep enjoying the fan. Next thing someone has put them in trousers, socks, a sweater and a bonnet, strapped them to their back and is currently walking through Balogun market.

— EDGAR ALLAN COKE (@ManicFeminist) September 20, 2019

You people need to start writing cheeky articles. Music coverage in Nigeria is now too serious. We need some humour.

“The Lost Totori: A Story Of Failed Attempts To Fit In”

“49-99: Who Taught Tiwa Savage Molue Sufferhead?

“Marlian Manifesto: The Ancient Art Of Soapynification

— Joey Akan (@JoeyAkan) September 20, 2019

The way rappers talk about Pablo Escobar in their songs, you wouldn’t know he ordered an airplane with 101 passengers bombed, because he wanted one person on it dead.

— Wole (@Kingwole) September 20, 2019

You can inherit Adam’s sin but can’t inherit your father’s salvation

Scam

— Olanrewaju (@Olanrewaju__Max) September 20, 2019

We should do a #dmxchallenge for yahoo boys caught by EFCC. “There was kunle, tamodu, taiye, kamaru, chuks, moshood, sege and bra taju”

— Demilade Roberts (@DemiladeR) September 20, 2019

Nigeria will beat you black and blue and then emotionally blackmail you for packing your bags and leaving.

— Ayo Sogunro (@ayosogunro) September 20, 2019

Clubbing remains the most pointless outing ever.

— BMAX (@OfficiallBmax) September 19, 2019

You’ll come out from one traffic in lagos and be happy “its free roads ahead” only for another to come out like “A ti lo, A ti de” ???

— LASU BREED ? (@madeinlasu) September 20, 2019

Don’t get married until you know you’re finished being single.

— Tosin????‍♂️ (@Ohloowatoscene) September 20, 2019